TIME OUT

I know Dave had seriously been considering and researching purchasing a boat over a year ago; it was on our life white board for years now (those who know us know what this is) and residing in the land of 10,000 lakes, the water just beckoned. Living in Minnesota we have come to realize how precious our warm weather months are and our dream of owning a boat just became stronger and stronger. Hence, after much budgeting and tinkering with the concept, Dave found our perfect boat, albeit in the month of January and in of all places Alabama. So off he went between snowstorms to drive the 20 hours each way to tow our 21 foot Tahoe back to its new home. We had fun at the boat show in late January envisioning ourselves on OUR boat puttering around but never could have imagined how much fun our summer was going to be.

Now here in late July after finally unofficially naming her TIME OUT, I've taken some time to reflect how this boat has brought us such joy in just a few short weeks.

We had her out on the 42 degree water on Easter since it was a beautiful blue sky morning and we so craved our inaugural ride. Since then we have taken every opportunity to be out on her. We have gone camping "up north" and brought her along to explore Leech Lake, we have explored the many coves of Lake Minnetonka, we have boated to lunch and dinner, we have floated for hours on rafts and we have beached her on tiny islands. We have also learned a thing or too about getting her in/out of the water since the expense of a slip is prohibitive; we have mastered (on most days) the timing of when the public access docks are best to load/unload her and I can now say that I am comfortable with driving her in peak traffic and putting her on/taking her off the trailer with people watching (I was a mess doing this the first few times as a boat does NOT drive like a car especially under windy conditions).

Most of all, I love that being out on the boat has given us ample time to just be a family experiencing these new adventures together! Cole has gone from being a hesitant and clingy swimmer to gleefully motoring about without either of us in the water with him; to witness his confidence increase tenfold has me singing praises about our boat time. Tucker just wants to be with his pack so he is content basking in the sun then retreating to the cool shade under the Bimidi top and taking the occasional dip (we just got a skamper ramp which should make it easier for him to get in/out of the water).

Seeing Dave relax after a crazy week in the ad world as we cruise across the bay makes TIME OUT worth every unexpected penny she has cost us, LOL! And to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as we buzz about the water puts me in my happy place every time.

Life does have a way of bogging us all down and sometimes saps us of our energy. Taking the boat out reinvigorates us and gives us purposeful time to take a step away from the chaos, a much needed TIME OUT!

Will I ever be ready for these conversations?

One night before bed, Cole was in a quieter mood than usual. Typically bedtime is full of laughter and manic behavior as he attempts to wind down from his day. Corralling him into his room takes a bit of maneuvering but once he gets under the covers and we begin reading, his body takes the hint and he settles down. This particular evening, Dave was traveling so I made the assumption that Cole was melancholy about his daddy's absence. I normally let him communicate that rather than prodding him when he isn't ready or willing. So I was startled when the real reason for his mood was revealed.

"Mom, I'm sad about something", he began. I replied "hey buddy what is making you feel this way?". He paused and look a bit apprehensive as if he was struggling with explaining what he felt. I didn't want to push so I just waited as he collected his thoughts "Mom, what do I do if no one wants to play with me?", he softly said. My initial internal reaction was an immediate ache in my heart. I wanted him to share more so I asked "did something happen at school today?". He nodded with tears glistening in his eyes and proceeded to tell me that "X said that he didn't like me today and didn't want to race cars down the hill. Then X said he didn't want to play in the fort and then X pushed me on the slide." Following this description he let out a defeated sigh. My momma bear instincts wanted to irrationally say how all of those interactions weren't very nice but my brain overode that with a reality check. So I tried my best to acknowledge how he was feeling and let him know that it was okay to feel sad about it; that sometimes friends need space or want to do something different than what we want to do and we can feel disappointed but need to go find someone else that wants to join us or try and ask them again in a little while.

Cole quietly listened as I tried to make sense of today's events for him. He looked me in the eyes as I finished and said "thanks mom, I just want to be friends with everyone". I nodded with tears filling my eyes. I kissed the top of his head and hugged him even closer. I walked out of his room with the painful realization that there would be many more of these conversations as the innocence of his past few years is fading fast and is being replaced with an increasingly acute awareness that life can be a not so nice place sometimes.

Observations by Cole...

Cole is as bright and precocious as ever which can be both entertaining and exacerbating but in either case showcases his wit and wisdom which is darn right impressive. Here is the latest and greatest that I've managed to remember to jot down.

Cole and Dave have been unsuccessful this summer with their fishing. Angling is supposed to a calm activity however with a 4 1/2 year casting in a frenzy constantly tangling his line or throwing his hook into boat cushions and the like, fishing has pushed Dave's patience on occasion. After the umpteenth time one afternoon when Cole mangled his line, Dave's voice thundered. It only stopped Cole for a brief moment wherein he then retorted "Dad, your freaking out" followed by a laugh and his infamous impish grin tossed Dave's way. He knew exactly how to crack his daddy's frustration and bring the situation around to a positive again.

I tell Cole often how darn cute he is because simply he is. He normally says "I know" or "thanks, Mom" but one random afternoon after I picked him up from school without me saying anything with regards to his cuteness, he goes "Mom, I'm not cute anymore, I'm cool". The "cool" part was said in a drawn out way. I said "Oh really, well you can be cute AND cool". He replies "No mom, you can't, cute isn't cool". I nervously laughed with the sinking realization that he is losing his naivete. Oh my...

Being an only child has its advantages and disadvantages. He doesn't have to share his time with Dave and I with any other kids but he does have to play independently alone more often than most of his friends. Many times when he wants to race cars, build towers or play pretend we make the time since it is so fleeting and soon he'll not want to play with us anymore. However, the reality is that we cannot always play with him when he wants us too. So taking his innate "sales" ability to a whole other level, he recently says to me when I tell him "no, mommy can't kick the soccer ball around, she needs to feed Tucker and prep dinner", Cole responds "okay, so here's the deal, how bout we kick it 10 times, then you go make me dinner because I'm hungry". So I go "Hmmm, where exactly is the "deal" for me in that? Isn't a deal an agreement by parties that is mutually beneficial?" Cole looks at me blankly since I do tend to use adult logic with him and goes "what did you say, was that a yes?" All I could do was laugh out loud, go kick the soccer ball ten times and make dinner. Some things are just worth giving in too!

One smart cookie...

Cole has always been quite a precocious kiddo with outstanding conversational skills and a vocabulary (and proper use of it) well beyond his years but sometimes I catch myself momentarily stunned when he says something (either during his grand imaginary play or to me directly) and I realize that it isn't the typical musing of a 4 1/2 year old. Once my brain kicks me back a "WOW", I find myself smiling with pride; sometimes Cole catches my expression; he then throws me his impish grin as if to say "I know what you are thinking mom; yep, I'm one smart cookie". And that simply makes him even more impressive...

The Twins with my guys...

This is the first year that Cole has gone to Target Field for Twins baseball games. We are super lucky that Dave's agency has season tickets and on occasion we are able to attend a game with wonderful seats.

Now it goes without saying that a four year old doesn't quite grasp the rules of the game nor is entirely interested with what is going on ON the field. However, Cole suits up in his Twins cap and shirt and oohs and ahhs as we see the stadium and as long as he has a soft pretzel or is digging into a cardboard box of popcorn he is a happy camper. As with anything Cole engages in, he does so with very little sitting. He is up, he is down, he is in Dave's lap, or he is in my lap; he needs to go potty or he wants to get more food.

We are able to watch maybe six innings before we have all had our fill but the experience of attending and watching one of America's past times is beyond value.

*This photo was taken at this past Sunday's game on Father's Day. I love when I catch the both of them unaware; they typically end up some of my favorite shots!

Camping 101: "Living Outside"

I think it is pretty comical when you say you are going or went camping and people reply with the question "in a tent?" As far as I'm concerned that IS camping and there isn't any other form. Yes, you can sleep in a campground in a camper/RV but come on that isn't truly camping when you have toilets/running water and TV's on board!

Anyway we took our inaugural camping trip this past weekend with Cole and Tucker up to Stony Point Campground which is located in Chippewa National Forest on Leech Lake, about 3 hours from the Twin Cities. We towed the boat and had the truck full to its brim with "stuff" but we used 85% of that "stuff" which was pretty impressive since you just never know what your needs may be due to location/weather.

The campground was beautiful and well-run and our site had views of the lake. Cole had been so excited as we packed, pushing the buttons on our lanterns and just generally curious about "living outside". Once onsite, he helped Dave put up the tent as I set up the table and supplies. We then walked out to the point and looked out in awe at the vast body of water (Leech Lake is the 3rd largest lake in MN at 140,000 plus acres). We grilled hot dogs and made s'mores and then nestled in to the tent well before it got dark which in those parts is well after 10pm.

My early riser was up with the birds, literally at 4:45am. We had to keep him quiet at least until 6am so we were grateful for the DVD player, LOL. Tucker and I took a stroll out to the boat dock and watched the sun come up. We cooked up some breakfast and we were on our boat by 8:30am. We tooled around and the boys fished some. We moved to another location and the boys fished again (nada nothing). The water was way too cold to swim so they tried fishing in spot #3 (no luck). We headed back to camp and had an early dinner, then headed back out on the boat for a post-dinner cruise. The sunset was AMAZING, the water calm and lake quiet and peaceful. Back to camp for more s'mores. Another early morning, though not as early and out on the boat again. The storm clouds began to build mid-morning so we headed back to camp and packed up.

Just a short camping adventure but one of many more to come. So many places to explore in our own "backyard" of 10,000+ lakes.

Where is everybody?

So Cole and I went to the movies this week. He can barely sit still for a meal let alone for a 90 minute flick so our trip to the theater was his first ever. It was a gamble of sorts as I had taken him to the kid's live theater twice this past winter and nearly 30 minutes in, he was ready to go but with a Groupon to Fandango about to expire, I said to myself, let's go! So off we went to see Kung Fu Panda 2!

Cole was sooo excited as we made our way up the escalator to the fancy schmancy new cinema here in St. Louis Park. It was midday on a Monday (school isn't out yet) and the foyer was EMPTY. He wanted to get popcorn which he promptly spilled as he turned to RUN down the corridor. :-) We made our way into the barely lighted theater only to find that we had the entire place to ourselves. I thought for sure that at least someone else would show but as the initial trailers began to run and the lights dimmed, NO ONE did. I thought it was cool, Cole kept asking "where is everybody?" He was a bit distressed by it but soon was distracted by the booming Dolby Surround Sound. I haven't even thought about the noise/loudness factor which Cole is very sensitive to. He was a bit shocked during the first really loud piece and I became worried that our maiden trip to the movies would be short-lived but he settled in and except during some scary scenes when he burrowed into my lap, genuinely enraptured by the movie screen.

As the movie ended and the lights came up, he seemed a bit disoriented. It was as if he forgot where he was and that he and I were the only ones there. I asked him if he had a good time and he smiled and said "yeah, that was cool, the good guys won, can we come back and see the new CARS movie tomorrow?". I gave him a big hug and told him that CARS 2 would be playing in a few weeks and we would come back with Daddy! He jumped up and down, shedding the tiny little pieces of popcorn that had become stuck to his shirt/shorts. We both laughed and then he then stopped and said "well, I hope there are more people next time we come since there are so many seats!"

Mommy Day Video

Dave and Cole put this video together for me for Mother's Day. :-) I finally got around to getting the HTML code so that I could post it here:

Happy Mothers Day - 2011 from David Denham on Vimeo.

Happy and content...

I think the most rewarding, heart warming and downright fantastic moment is when at the end of a day, after Cole and I have read books and turned out his lights, snuggled in with his eyes barely able to remain open, he softly says "mommy, I loved this day and I love you because we had so much fun" Pure joy runs through my body knowing my little guy is so content and happy. It elevates me to an emotional place I never could have expected.

Geography A +

I just posted a few weeks back about how geographically aware Cole has shown he is per his comments when driving around. The other day while circling in the Costco parking lot, he was looking at the license plates, repeating "Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota". NOTE: When we have been on road trips out of state, many times in parking lots, Cole will point out that a car isn't from Minnesota because it has a different license plate. As we made our way down the aisle looking for a vacant spot, Cole piped up from the backseat excitedly "Mom, look, that car is from TEXAS!!" Astounded to find he was indeed correct, I asked him how he knew that. With a shrug of his shoulders he goes "I just do". Baffled, I tried to remember if we had ever seen a Texas plate in our travels and I couldn't recall. We do have a map of the United States in his playroom and he has learned about the fifty states through books and Montessori but for him to recognize the license plate which does have the shape of Texas outlined but very small between the first set of numbers and the second was just plain darn impressive. He definitely has a keen sense of observation and sees the details in everything; watching him use these skills gives me a sense of delight and a sneak preview of all the interesting things he will surprise us with in the years to come.

Cole (isms)...

Here are some of the latest and greatest Cole(isms). You never know when they will pop out of his mouth so their unexpectedness adds significant value and entertainment. Enjoy!

We were making cookies one afternoon and as Cole stirred things up for me in the bowl, I kept adding ingredients. The dough was getting stiffer as I added in flour and Cole goes "mom, I think you put in enough dust".

Out on the boat, Cole was determined to fish despite the fact that he had tangled the line in his rod for the umpteenth time and Dave's rod had unfortunately gone overboard. I knew Dave was short on patience so I tried to change Cole's activity to coloring since we had brought cars and other distractions since the water is still too cold to swim in. He didn't want anything to do with me having spent the entire day prior with me inside since it had rained. I was trying desperately to give Dave some peace but on a 21 foot boat there isn't a place to "hide". Dave had his eyes closed and I said "daddy is trying to relax". Cole climbs up on him with his crayons in hand and says "Daddy, coloring is very relaxing!"

Spring came six weeks later than it did last year and thus, we are just now seeing things bloom and the rabbits, squirrels and other creatures return. The other day as we passed the park on our way to the gym, an albino squirrel scampered towards the curb. I quickly pointed him out to Cole as he darted back towards the big walnut tree. Cole goes "mom, what happened to his paint?"

My little bird...

This picture says it all and at least recently is the extent to what we can get Cole to eat at any given time. We have struggled the past six weeks with him and eating. He has always been a grazer and a slow eater, taking over an hour at times to finish his meals but lately our frustration (his and ours) has been mounting. We don't want to force him to eat but he simply needs to eat with the amount of activity he expends.

He drinks enough milk to make a plausible case for buying our own cow but even when we limit his intake of that with hopes of increasing his appetite, he just balks at eating much more than a few pieces of fruit, some noodles and a protein bar. He refuses meat protein other than turkey hot dogs and always has. We have even joked that he will be a vegetarian; although he doesn't like many vegetables either.

He puts on a performance quite worthy of an Academy Award Winner with instantaneous tears and dramatic airs that would usurp most soap opera divas when we ask him to finish what is on his plate. He says he is tired, his tummy hurts, he wants to take a rest, he is full, yada yada yada yada....and yet, 2 minutes later, he is racing around.

So this morning as I vainly attempted to get him to eat his breakfast, I said with impatience "Cole, if you don't eat well, you won't be able to grow tall and strong and become a race car driver". Without even a moment's hesitation, he retorts "but Mom, I don't want to grow up, I want to stay a little boy forever so I can race with you" He even threw in his impish smile as if he knew very well that tugging at my heartstrings would end this ongoing argument (at least for now). *sigh*

Any suggestions are welcome!