Class of 2025

This past week Dave, Cole and I attended our local school district's kindergarten round-up & registration. Although Cole has gone to Montessori for three years now, the change to our public school (and their schedule) will be an adjustment for all of us. After completing 80 pages of paperwork before hand, there were additional things to sign-up for like assessments and bus safety events. Last fall, I went to the Open House which was a tour of the classrooms, chats with the teachers and an overall presentation about its IB Programme based curriculum. What was thrilling about this recent week's evening was watching Cole enter the building and feeling his outright excitement. He "oooohhhed and ahhhhed" at so many things. Once a shy and hesitant boy, he was at ease as he played around with some of his fellow playmates with whom he will attend kindergarten with. While the parents then listened to current families speak about their Kindergarten year and the principal and the IB Programme Coordinator talk about the merits of Aquila Elementary, the kiddos were shuttled to classrooms to spend some time with their potential classmates and teachers. As the presentation began, the Welcome to the Class of 2025 banner was pointed out. That was a WOW moment for me as now that year took on a whole new meaning. Following the presentation, the kiddos paraded onto the stage, having learned the school song. They had all gotten goodie bags with pencils/erasers/math playing cards et al and Cole was beaming as he found us in the crowd and waved. I have good vibes about next year as much as I will forever hold a dear place in my heart for Orono Montessori where my little guy was doted upon by his beloved teachers during some of his most formative development.

Where Is His Off Button?

Cole has always been a chatty kiddo. Back when he was a toddler, he would babble on and on in his "language". As his mom, through deductive listening and inquiry (and much repetition on his part), I learned his "language" and could interpret his speech when everyone else would look at me and say "what did he say?". I would state over and over to him the proper pronunciation of whatever I knew he meant, knowing that his developing mind would in time, put all the sounds together and astoundingly spit them out in recognizable verse. That process simply amazed me. Then followed his "WHY" stage. Every object, sound, and sight he curiously questioned. This phase did not amaze me as it was purely irritating after the 50th "WHY" within a two hour period; however, it did give me pause to remember that this stage was vital to his brain synapses firing at full throttle. As a first time mom, I read a lot of parenting "stuff" and read some article, amongst the hundreds, about the importance of exposing little ones to a grand host of things as brain cells digest information more rapidly when they are young and "fire" up areas that would otherwise go dormant if not. As he entered his early preschool years, his imagination came to life. He could independently play with himself and his "friends". I would stand out of sight and smile as I listened to him use dialogue as if there were two people speaking. He would change his tone and inflection to represent the "other" person. I always chuckled when he used a word that I commonly would use when speaking with him. I never baby-talked to him, I always used my normal vocabulary and he was correctly using those words in context. In the past six months or so, Cole has taken his talkative nature to a whole other level. To say he has become loquacious would be a grand understatement. He could talk a politician to death. When he gets on a roll, you can't help but remind him to breathe. It doesn't matter the subject, you can find him animated about any random number of things. You would be lucky to comment and if you attempt to do so and he isn't receptive, he'll furrow his brow as a deterrent of sorts and continue on with his dissertation. We joke with him about frequently about his "off" button, which long ago we defined as his belly button and which seems to be in a constant state of disrepair, LOL. We "push it" into OFF mode and Cole does one of two things, pretends to shut off momentarily and then spring to life again as he pushes himself back ON or he'll say something like "out of order" or similar. Cole is like a car that just needs to completely run out of gas before it stops working. He operates on all cylinders from 5:30 in the morning until 8 at night and not until then begins to sputter. Some days I wish there was an override mode on his "engine" but alas he seems to have only an internal "reset" button that works properly.

STALLING...

Cole could teach a class on "The Best Way to Stall" these days. He has acquired quite a creative approach to procrastination and avoidance. Cole has never been one to have colossal meltdowns when things aren't going his way or when he doesn't want to do something; don't get me wrong, the kid can pour on the drama in nanoseconds and win an Oscar (typically at the end of a long day) but he so rarely flips his lid that it barely needs mentioning.

I have to give him kudos for finding clever ways to "mask" his delay tactics. Here are several in his arsenal.

Cole eats on European time, grazing at his meals for nearly an hour. Although I embrace the "slow eating movement" as it is better for digestion, at some point, I have to close the kitchen. When I attempt to "encourage" him to finish up, he begins "stretching", explaining that stretching is good for his body. "Okay, great but why does it have to be done while you are eating?" I remark. "Mom, my muscles help my body make energy from my food but they get tired sometimes when I'm eating, so I have to stretch." Say What?

Despite the multiple times we give Cole a head's up about bedtime, he 99% of the time, whines that he isn't tired. After several futile attempts at negotiating five more minutes, he often decides that he has to tell us something. This kid can talk and when he shares a story, it is a five minute story. So he manages to gain his five minutes by telling us a story about something that happened during his day. Though Dave and I enjoy hearing his tales, we find it "funny" how when we both ask him questions about his day earlier in the evening, he forgets or doesn't remember what he did. After he chats away, he skips away to brush his teeth, all is well in the world with those extra few minutes gained, LOL.

Cole has ALWAYS detested taking medication of any kind. The tears start to well and he backs away. He truly has a fear for some reason and thus every sip or every drop has to be planned out. Lately, in his quivering voice he'll go "I have a plan" or "here's an idea". He then spells out intricately how he wants me or Dave to help him take the medication. Literally, what should take seconds, takes nearly 10 minutes but at least he is realizing it has to get done and taking ownership in what will help him accomplish it.

Life lesson #1007

As I have mentioned in previous posts, Cole has competitiveness hardwired into his DNA. That trait can be both a positive and a negative depending on how you control your attitude. We do our best as parents to teach our kids how to handle both the feelings of exhilaration and disappointment when winning or losing. It is a tricky life lesson for a five year old to be able to manage either graciously; Cole either wants to brag and gloat or have a complete meltdown when the outcome is less than what he expected.

Cole has always struggled with losing at anything and despite our repeated attempts at ensuring that he has both won and lost at numerous things, his typical mild-manner and sensitive nature morphs into a wild and angry version when he finds himself on the not so fun end of a race or a game. Trying to explain that not winning at something is okay is just a tough perspective for him to swallow. When you are five there is a limited amount of "gray"; things are still primarily "black and white". Though he is cognizant that sometimes he will be the fastest during a race or he will be the winner at a game, and sometimes he just won't, using logic when emotions swell is an ever-evolving skill (one that most adults still don't utilize very well).

Cole's reactive tendencies (either direction) are just a symptom of his mind still adjusting to the concept that winning feels good and hence he wants to make sure everyone knows it and losing feels icky, and thus, he wants to make sure everyone knows it. It is a feat to balance those and find a way to convey either your happiness or disappointment without going to extremes.

He is a brilliant boy and I have no doubt, he will learn to harness his competitive streak into a fantastic show of determination and ambition. However, I anticipate plenty of bumps (and tears) along the way.

My little fish...

Cole has always enjoyed the water in his baths. However, unlike with many of his other physical pursuits, swimming in a pool has been more of a challenge for him. He hasn't had a fear of it but more like a definite awareness that he isn't comfortable without an adult near him within arm's reach. I can't blame him, swimming comes naturally for some and for him it simply doesn't.

I started taking him for swim lessons at a very early age with hopes of introducing him early enough that he would feel at ease in the pool but it just hasn't unfolded that way. With steady lessons each season for the past two years, Cole has slowly decreased his hesitancy and embraced the "fun factor" of his lessons each week. His instructors at FOSS truly do a phenomenal job at teaching the kids the fundamentals while making their 30 minutes each week age-appropriate on the silly scale.

However, as Cole has gotten older, he has upped his own competitive factor. He wants to be first across the playground, first across the ice rink, first around the circle on his bike but in the pool, his peers are typically first down the lane. This has caused quite a bit of frustration over the past two series of sessions. I didn't want him to get down on swimming because he couldn't be "first" so I tried to use this as a teaching moment to keep him wanting to come despite him telling me he was "sad" because "he can't do it". We talked about how everyone learns how to do things at different speeds and how he couldn't be first (or best) at everything; but that went over just about as well as trying to get him to eat green veggies, "I know that Mom, but I don't like being last" said with a scowl.

He is determined and focused (like someone else I know) and thus, feels defeated when he can't do something that way he wishes he could. So he began working before class this past series one-on-one with his teacher for several weeks, where she had him repeat and repeat and repeat specific movements without the influence of his peers there to pressure him. Consequently, his confidence began to rise during class and his beaming smile returned when he realized he was making progress.

He will be repeating his current skills level next session to allow him to truly master them and by the time he completes it, hopefully our boat will be in the water! I will make an educated "guess", that by summer's end, he will be jumping freely off its side without a moment's hesitation, splashing around on a hot summer day without a care (or memory of his tears and frustration)

Here are two recent videos of him during a swim lesson learning free-style strokes.

Good Life...

So Cole finally started inquiring about DISNEY WORLD last fall when he saw a commercial for it and realized that Mickey Mouse "lived" there (he didn't start watching the DISNEY channel until last summer since I attempted to avoid channels with commercials for as long as I could). "Can we go there tomorrow?", he said that afternoon. I explained where it was and that we had to take a plane to get there. I shared that it was like walking around the Minnesota State Fair in some regards as there were lots of rides, food and people but that DISNEY WORLD had the characters he saw on TV walking around. His eyes got big and he asked "are Jake and the Neverland Pirates there too!??".

Dave and I are not big fans of crazy crowded overpriced theme parks but do acknowledge the magic that DISNEY holds for a kiddo. We know that a trip is inevitable and that Cole will have an absolute blast (and we will too reveling in his glee).

He has gone hot and cold since with his interest as the DISNEY advertisements increase in intensity around holidays and vacation breaks. However, the most recent ad uses One Republic's song "Good Life". I must say it is the perfect tune for DISNEY's message.



That said and since the song is popular on the radio, Cole now says when he hears it "Mom, it is the DISNEY song, did you get our plane tickets yet, you have to do that soon!!?" How can one resist such an animated request!? I think a trip to DISNEY is in our sooner rather than later plans.

Me and my pickle...

Our scanner has been down since we adjusted settings earlier last fall and it took six months to finally get it off our "to fix" list. That said, I have photographs that I ordered and framed from when Lisa Buth came back to Cole's school in November 2011 (following the first school photo day fiasco when Cole broke his collarbone)for his make-ups that I had been unable to scan into my files until now.

Since I have coordinated the photo day for Cole's Montessori school (60 kiddos to photograph individually age 1-6) the past two years, Lisa kindly has taken pictures of Cole and I together each year and offered them to me complimentary. She has managed to capture a treasure trove of images of the two of us. I have so few pictures of Cole and I since I am the one 99% of the time who thinks to tote the camera around and actually use it. I am so grateful to have these gracing my desk (the one above is my favorite).

I realize the day will come when I won't be able to coax my pickle to hug me like he does in this photo but at least I will have these amazing images to remind me of a day when he would.

A sensitive soul...

Cole was a fussy baby (who could blame him with the forced eviction from my womb that bruised and battered him so) but with four months of colic to contend with, my coping mechanism was to find control where and when I could. If that meant a military precise feeding and sleeping schedule, then my saving grace was that I could and did create one.

Having a baby/toddler fall into such a routine was a blessing and curse. It provided me secure and known windows of peace to regroup and yet tethered me to an unyielding daily monotony; it also made Cole very determined to communicate his displeasure to alterations in his strict schedule; flexibility was not on his preferred menu. He was very attuned from the get-go to changes in his environment such as sound, temperature, light and energy. He did not like unfamiliar people or places despite my many varied attempts at exposing him to both. Leaving him with a babysitter was heart wrenching, taking him to a loud public place was overwhelming for him (and consequently me), trying to leave him to play with other kids while I worked out lasted 20 minutes (tops!) before they would page me. Cole was sensitive to too much sound and stimuli. I didn't want to avoid such things as I knew he needed to learn to process it and yet, my mother bear instincts also wanted to protect him from things that upset him.

When he started at Montessori at 18 months, I sobbed in the car after every drop off for weeks, knowing I was doing the right thing for both of us to give us a break from one another. Yet, I was so conflicted. It was such a balance those first two years of his life.

It truly wasn't until he turned three and a half or so that Cole began to break free of his reserved shell a bit. He would more readily engage with "strangers" after after an initial ten minutes of shyness and on his terms he would begin interacting with others whether it be at music class, a friend's house for playdate or a place such as museum. Once he was comfortable with the people and surroundings it was hard to believe that he had been reticent at all.

To this day, Cole tends to hesitate when in a new situation. His personality is one that prefers to watch and wait; he almost always jumps in but only when he is ready. I think as a result, he has honed what I feel is his innate ability to read others well. Taking time to observe and slowly join whatever activity is going on not only allows him to "warm-up" to it but fosters a uncanny knack, for his age, of empathy. He often shares with me "so and so seems sad about X" or "X was really scared about Y". Typically, what he is talking about are events where kids are not crying or visibly upset but where their more subtle body language is expressing their emotions; surveying a room while he waits to feel comfortable has given him outstanding people-watching skills and an extremely intuitive and keen interpretation of emotional and social awareness.

Hence, he is very conscientious about other's feelings which I can only hope continues as he grows into a young man. Cole does wear his heart on his sleeve and will be the first one to share with you if you have hurt his feelings, his brow furrowed with disappointment but being a sensitive soul certainly has its merits and is a strength and a gift in a time where everyone is always in a rush and the nuances of others typically go unnoticed.

My little rock star...

When we returned from San Francisco last August, the band TRAIN came out with their hit tune "Save Me San Francisco". Cole went nuts every time it came on the radio and after several weeks, he was belting out the chorus. Over the course of several months, he memorized the various verses and would nearly shout out the ones that mentioned cable cars and the Golden Gate Bridge. By now he knows almost every word and loves to listen, sing and dance to it when I have my ITUNES playing. Thankfully his interpretation of the lyrics is slightly altered as in the song they say "oh hell no" while Cole's rendition goes "all hands roll". He can be a wee shy when the camera rolls but I was able to capture this video of him one afternoon when he didn't seem to have any stage fright. Enjoy!

Books, books, books

I have a true fear that as Cole makes his way through his school years that the warp speed of continuing advanced technology will make specific items that I grew up with as I walked the echoing halls of grade school obsolete. That said, I cannot and probably will never embrace e-readers and e-books. I understand their convenience and the long term savings involved but how can anyone contribute to an industry that might keep future generations from filling their bookshelves with BOOKS!!!?? I realize this might not be a "green" approach and that my perspective is quite conflicting with my love of majestic trees but I just can't wrap my head around a time when it could be possible to never turn a physical page; to sit in a child's room at bedtime and swipe an IPAD as one reads Dr. Seuss, Eric Carle or Shel Silverstein? No thank you!

I began taking Cole to the library back when he was learning to walk. Our local branch had storytime and though it was a melee of chaos with very little actually being heard, we did it regularly. As he got older, we frequented the kid's area and sat reading and doing puzzles. I began picking out books every other week for his preschool to give the teachers some fresh tales to share as I know how nuts I felt at times reading and rereading the same books for weeks/months when Cole found a favorite.

When Cole moved from the toddler side to the big boy side of Montessori, we began researching and choosing books that matched his monthly curriculum (countries, geography, people, cultures). Many times I reserve books online and he helps me find our number amongst the mass piles. Each and every week we have done this for almost four years.

At the start of the year, the library system updated their policies which limited the amount of books one could take out on one card. Since I also take out a significant amount of books, it was going to be near impossible to take those out, Cole's books and the ones we brought to school under the new and drastically reduced allowable count. I thought the age for getting a child a card was six but regardless I asked the friendly librarian we see so often. She said, "no, he can get one anytime with a responsible adult". Cole's eyes got big and he began jumping up and down at the prospect of having his own card! She took his information which he offered up (full name, DOB and address, mom supplied the phone #) and voila, she handed him his card to sign and a choice of colored holders for it. He was so ecstatic it simply made my heart sing! We filled our bag that afternoon and he checked those books out with his card with such pride and a beaming grin!

Every Monday when we head to Library Lane (yes that is their address), he puts his library card in his pocket and then I watch him in the rear view mirror quietly take it out and say the 15 digit # that is associated with it. I can't imagine not being able to lug a heavy bag of books out each week, stacking them in the basket by his bed and having him sit down each evening to pick two out for bedtime reading. I can only hope that his children someday will still be able to have that experience. If not, their grandma will have a huge stash of books in a box ready to stock their bookshelves!

Tick tock...buzz...

When we visited Oregon last November, we spent some time with Cole's great-grandma Margie. While Dave tinkered with her computer, Cole had to entertain himself in the small space as running around wasn't an option. I had brought some coloring books and he had Dave's IPAD but he keyed in on Margie's egg timer about five minutes after our arrival. As the crinkle of paper and the fascination of boxes are captivating to babies and toddlers, the distinct tick of the egg timer followed by its bellowing ring kept Cole's attention. After about 20 minutes of listening to it, Dave and I wanted to make it cease its "noise" however Cole had a different perspective. He has become quite the brilliant negotiator when attempting to make an argument for himself and after several requests from us to do something else followed by a more stern "that's enough!", Cole without a moment's hesitation says "but I'm learning how to count down my numbers" with a confidence in his voice. Indeed as the timer moved each minute, he would state the number it was on and then state the number that was coming up. Egg timers only show five minute intervals so he was having to think about the numbers in-between.

He continued to mention the egg timer once we came home and so I put it on my list to find as I thought it would be fun for him for specific activities such as brushing his teeth. I had trouble finding one as they have been replaced by digital versions. I even searched at SuperTarget which typically has everything and asked an associate thinking possibly it might be located elsewhere than in the kitchen area. "No, we don't carry those" she stated as Cole's face grimaced in frustration.

I figured I could order one on Amazon but got caught up in the course of life and just hadn't gotten around to it. One random afternoon, while picking up groceries at SuperTarget, Cole excitedly bursts out "Mom, mom, look!". There at the end of an aisle in the baking section hung a row of egg timers. The look on Cole's face was if we just saw a monster truck in produce. "Can we get one!?" he asked having already picked one out, tenuously ready to toss it in the cart. "Absolutely", I replied seeing how happy it made him.

As we walked around picking up the remaining items on my list, Cole looks at me and goes "Mom, the store lady was wrong, I think she needs more training. He had remembered the SuperTarget employee we had spoken to inquiring about the egg timer nearly six weeks prior. I laughed out loud and said "well, I think maybe you are right!".

He eats like a bird...

I'd have to go back through my previous year's posts but I'm pretty sure I've blogged about Cole's eating habits (or lack of them). He was a terrific eater as a baby but as soon as we transitioned him to table food, he balked and has been picky, selective and downright difficult to feed ever since.

It isn't for lack of trying as I cook often and attempt to have him take a bite of this and that. He abhors meat proteins of any kind leading me to believe he is a future vegetarian though thankfully he will eat eggs and cheese. Honestly, I think it is a texture thing with him just to a drastic degree. He doesn't like fibrous foods, think meats and some vegetables. If they have a crunch, we are okay but if they take more than a few chews to break down, he doesn't want any part of it. Luckily, he drinks nearly 3 gallons of milk each week, so he gets plenty of protein, it just isn't as varied as I would prefer it be.

He doesn't have a sweet tooth either; sure he likes the occasional Tootsie Pop, cupcake, ice cream cone or handful of M&Ms but he typically at birthday parties forgoes a piece of cake!! He refuses to drink any kind of juice. Chocolate and sweet treats are easily accessible in our pantry and yet, he'll choose an apple over them. For this "quirk", I'm grateful for as I hope he'll avoid cavities since he freaks out at the dentist as is.

He is wiry and thin but all muscle. He looks like a wee ballet dancer or gymnast. He goes full tilt with an energy level off the charts; needs less sleep than most; is happy and charming and is quite brilliant if I may so, which I will.

Maybe eating like he does, though it gives me agita, is really the way we should all be eating!? I do hope his palate branches out someday and I will encourage that by introducing him to bites of things but as long when he eats, he continues to eat healthy like he does, I really can't and don't wish to force him to eat foods that he doesn't want nor in portions that are probably out of proportion. Considering our country is drastically overweight, I really think he is on to something that his body innately is telling him and that we as adults have stopped listening to.