5 years and counting...

It is hard to believe that I have been regularly posting to this blog for five years! When Cole was 10 months old, I knew I wanted to find a way to capture in words more moments than I could ever find room to cram into a scrapbook or scribble in a journal. Beginning this blog allowed me to meld both the visual (photographs) with the commentary. To look back and read my earlier work is like taking a ride back in time. The things I wrote about back then seem so distant and yet so familiar. It is amazing how your mind remembers tidbits but not details so I am so grateful to know that I can peruse those adventures, emotions and awe of years ago, and not let them get tucked away to deeply in the recesses of my memory.

232 posts about motherhood, Cole's antics, growth and interests and our journey in navigating life's maze together...I look forward to the years ahead and all they hold (and the next 232 posts that tell about them).

Our Football Fanatic...

I posted back in late August about Cole's new and rapidly growing interest in football, specifically our Minnesota NFL team, the Vikings. Well, nearly seven weeks later, I am here to report that we have a full-fledged fan on our hands. I am not at all joking when I say that Cole is living and breathing football. He wants to play football in the afternoons after school and wear his Vikings helmet and jersey around the house at all times (even while brushing his teeth, see pic above). He stops mid-sentence when football highlights come on the TV. He inquires as soon as a game is over when the next game is, who are they playing, is it an away or home game and so on and so on.

He is beginning to know the players and their numbers. He is understanding more than just the basics of how the game is played. He provides a play-by-play analysis of his own which is quite spot-on. He already dislikes the Green Bay Packers, though I have no idea, seriously, why, because Dave and I are not fans or foes really of any team.

It is just beyond entertaining to see Cole embrace this sport without much previous exposure. Luckily for him, the season is long and hopefully our local team will do well this year. Stay tuned.

The Denhams...

We hadn't had any "formal" pictures taken of our family since our photo shoot during our vacation in the Outer Banks with my extended family back in September 2010. Two years later, it was time to update my frames and thus I needed someone to come and capture Dave, Cole, Tucker and I.

Cole's Montessori school had hired the talented photographer Lisa Buth the past several years to photograph the kids so we have been blessed with amazing pictures of Cole each fall. This year with Cole attending public schools, we would not have that opportunity so I coordinated with Lisa to come and photograph our family instead!

We chose Loring Park in Minneapolis as our backdrop with its gardens, towering oak and walnut trees, ponds, and cool architectural details (bridges, buildings, benches). It was a brilliant autumn afternoon, a bit breezy but with blue skies.

It was a casual hour or two of walking around and snapping photos as Lisa saw the perfect "setting" or lighting. Cole could run around and Tucker would be happy just being with us outside.

As we anticipated, Lisa's photographs came out and wowed us. Here are a few of the standouts!

Soccer 2.0

Cole had such an awesome experience with his summer soccer team that as soon as it was over in late July, he wanted to know when he could play again! So I registered him for the fall season, hoping that autumn weather would continue late into October. When we got our roster assignment, I was so excited to share with Cole that Will, a playdate pal of his from ECFE years ago was on his team and that Will's dad was his coach.

Cole is always a wee shy still when he starts something new but soon into his first practice, he was at ease. The St. Louis Park soccer association has held two drill sessions with talented instructors for Cole's age group which has been a nice change from his regular practices. Unlike with his summer team which were a group of VERY energetic personalities, the kids on his fall team really have begun to work as a unit (still with some comedic moments). Sometimes they win and sometimes they lose but Cole has certainly improved and become quite skilled with the ball. Of course like most almost-six year olds, he has been reluctant to pass the ball but when he does so he does so very well. One month into the season, we have spent some Saturdays watching games basking in near 70 degree sunshine and spent several Saturdays bundled up against a windchill. Welcome to Minnesota in the fall.

The fall soccer program is a shorter six week stint and I'm sure as we wrap things up, Cole will be asking about when he can play again. Unfortunately, it will be a long winter of waiting. Hopefully, his avid interest in football will placate him until the ground thaws in six months.

004 from David Denham on Vimeo.

My support team...

I have been so lucky the past three years to have such a fantastic support team as I trained and ran 11 half-marathons. It was important "therapy" for me back in 2010 to find something to dig my heels into as I recovered from our loss in January 2010. Though my body was recovering from the trauma of the ruptured ectopic, my mind still struggled. Hence, my decision to begin running again with these goals in mind.

That first summer, I registered and ran 3 half-marathons. Dave ran the first one with me (well, not WITH me but in the same race). I vividly remember hitting a wall at mile eight only to see his smile as he looped past me on the return path motivating me to continue on. I trained longer for subsequent races that year and felt strong and accomplished. Near the finish line for two of that year's races, Cole sitting atop Dave's shoulders cheered me on through the final shoot.

My first race of 2011 was a cold and blustery early May day. It felt more like March than May and the wind coming off Lake Minnetonka was unrelenting. Dave and Cole rode the route in the truck and found me about mid-way to give me a boost and found me again at the end where my cheeks were chapped and my feet cold but I was oh so happy that I finished. Three more races that summer with my loyal cheerleaders dropping me off early at the starting lines and meeting me with their waves and blown kisses as I completed another 13.1 miles.

My goal for 2012 is five races, consecutively building each year. I have tackled four of them thus far with my first B2B (back to back), two half-marathons with less than a week in-between. Surprisingly, despite some bruised toenails, my body has acquiesced and allowed me to conquer the mileage. I haven't been able to beat my best time of 2:04 but I am pretty happy with myself regardless that I have dedicated myself to this cause, myself. LOL

I think it has been good for Cole to see me committed to something that means a lot to me. He gets excited when it is race day and he even wants to be sure he wears something that will make it easier for me to see him (like a red shirt or hat). He has even asked me if there are kid races. There are and I'd be happy to get him involved next summer (most entries require them to be six years old).

Imagination...a life skill...

I know it is not easy on Cole being an only-child. He loves to play and wants someone to play with him! However, Dave and I cannot accept his every invitation to build, race, kick the ball or play hotel. Playdates as plentiful as I have tried to maintain them are more difficult now that everyone has varying activities and schedules. So sometimes grudgingly, Cole retreats to his playroom to find something to do. The guilt I feel when he frowns and stomps off is relieved when I hear him ten minutes later using his imagination and creativity to entertain himself. This is a crucial life skill which in my opinion is becoming lost in his generation with over scheduled kids and too much TV/computer/device time for many of them.

I believe Cole has a nice balance of alone time, sports/activity and electronic media. Sure, some days, it leans towards one more heavily but overall, I'm glad to know he can find his own way out of being bored. I love that he will run through the house playing various football positions giving a play-by-play analysis. I revel in the prolific artwork that adorns my desk, the refrigerator and his playroom walls. I smile when I hear him lower his voice in "conversation" as he talks to the "other" superhero/ninja.

I have no doubt that Cole would prefer to have a real person engage with him but I also have no doubt that the fact that he can't all the time makes him work different areas of his brain that would otherwise go dormant and that can only be a positive thing in this world that grabs for our attention 24/7. We all need a little "alone" time.

Another "first"...

I remember the moment you were born amidst the bright lights of the OR, hearing you yowl at being evicted after such a lengthy labor; all I could see were your feet since the drape was blocking my view, thus I commented on how large they were and to this day, that vision flashes before me...

I remember endlessly walking circles with you for almost four months in our Washington, DC brownstone's main level pleading with you to stop your colicky crying.

I remember watching you sleep so peacefully since it was such a rare event.

I remember your first smile, your first words, your first foods, your first steps, your first birthday. As your mom, I remember them all as they slowly weave together to form who you are and are yet to become.

I realize that each "first" means you are one step further away from depending on me and relying on yourself and that is how it should be.

As you got on the big yellow bus yesterday to embark on a new and exciting adventure, I was so thrilled to see you so excited. You showed no apprehension, just a curiosity and confidence that made me proud. I hugged you extra tight as the bus rounded the corner and you squirmed away as you wanted to watch it come down our block. Dad and I waved as you bounded aboard and took your seat, not looking back, just ahead. We waited as the bus turned and headed out of sight. My feet remained glued to the corner as the tears rolled down my face. I was so happy for you and yet felt such melancholy as the morning was such a bittersweet reminder to my psyche that things were changing.

Some of your "firsts" just etch themselves more vividly in my heart. Your "first" day of kindergarten will definitely be one of those.

Vikings Fan in the making...

Dave is not a football fanatic. He isn't even really a football fan nor could give a hoot about fantasy football unlike many of his friends and colleagues. Sure he'll watch highlights and the occasional ASU game but in the decade I have known him, I'd have to say that the Super Bowl is the only time I've seen him engaged for four quarters (and truly it is more about anticipating the advertisements).

That said, Cole has not been exposed much to professional football and yet, he has been fascinated with all the pre-season trailers that are playing on the TV inquiring about our hometown team, the VIKINGS and asking all kinds of questions about football teams and how the game is played.

Thanks to our next door neighbors who have season tickets, Cole and Dave got to attend a pre-season VIKINGS game last Friday. He was soooo excited to wear a VIKINGS t-shirt and sit in the stands at the Metrodome. It was loud and chaotic but he had a blast.

I have a feeling that his interest in the gridiron is just beginning...

Checked off the list...

Each summer for the past two years, Cole and I have crafted a to-do list of new places to go and see, things to do or try and of course some seasonal favorites such as "get ice cream" and "go to the beach". We did pretty well with crossing things off our sheet and had a ton of fun along the way. Each summer seems to pass faster and faster. I think we have a whole three months and wham, I'm stunned to realize it is mid-August already.

One of the last remaining items was "learn how to ride his bike without training wheels". Our neighbors had a bike the next size up in their garage and donated it to us for the cause. However, the bike was purple which Cole was not happy about. We explained that it was a perfectly great bike to learn from and once he could show us he could do it that a new bike was his! He made a few solid attempts with one awful crash and burn escapade where he lost control and veered off the trail and ended up careening DOWN HILL and literally catapulted over his handlebars into a bush. He shied away from the bike for weeks after that, luckily nothing broken or terribly bruised other than his ego.

We knew we would have to coax him to get back on it and try again knowing he was strong and coordinated enough to master it. Sure enough, with just a wee bit of hesitancy and Dave running along side, in a matter of 15 minutes, he was off to the races, his confidence returning and a huge smile beaming from his face. He will have to continue to practice but Santa will be bringing him a new bike this Christmas (blue and green as requested).

003 from David Denham on Vimeo.

A change of pace...

Cole finished up with Montessori at the very beginning of the month. I had signed him up for day camp for the month of August at LifeTime Fitness and the YMCA, four days a week. This was intentional as I wanted to shake things up a bit to help him transition from three days of preschool to five days of kindergarten which starts in a few weeks. Cole is not a fan of change or of new experiences. He still harbors a reluctance when entering unfamiliar territory. Once he has some time to acclimate, you can find him right in the thick of it but he just simply likes to ease into things.

Knowing my kiddo, I felt that having him participate in our gym's day camp first made a lot of sense. He already knew the facility and many of the childcare staff. He played shy at drop off the first several days but once he made friends and learned the routine, he was running off to meet his buddies and actually cried one afternoon when I picked up because he wasn't ready to leave.

When he switches to YMCA camp next week, it will be another few mornings of elongated goodbyes I'm sure though he'll be attending with three of his playdate pals with whom he'll be in kindergarten with!

It has been hard on me to lose my Mondays with him after all these years. When he begins school next month, we will lose our Fridays together too. I have been oh so lucky to have had that special time with him, working part-time allowing us that. He is growing up and we will inevitably spend less and less dedicated time with one another. That is just how life works, more independent, less dependent on his mom. I hope he has special memories of our "mommy days", I know I'll carry them in my heart always.

Cole the web-slinger...

As I have posted previously, Cole's interests change like the wind. I think we have gone through four or five "phases" this year where he immerses himself for weeks in all things X and then all of a sudden, something different becomes his focus. He still loves Wild Kratts, Ninjago and Super Heroes but he has graduated onto a more complex solo character, Spiderman.

Cole wanted EVERY book we could find at the library on Spiderman and his infamous enemies. We have read and re-read them. I finally found a book that is a compilation of them all (20 tales) and we have gone through reading one a night and now are in repeat mode. Eventually, the book will need to be returned (I can renew every 3 weeks three times). So doing the math, that gives him 84 days with said book and as such approximately 4 re-reads of each story within the book. He knows when you skip a line and will call you out on it. :-)

He loves flinging his wrists in spidey-fashion as he zips around the house. Every few weeks, he is able to make a purchase based on good behavior for something under $20 with the understanding that one of his current toys needs to be donated. He had been eyeing a Spiderman mask that talked and was more $$. I told him that if he wanted that that it would be equal to two items so that he would have to wait nearly six weeks for another "thing" even if he was well-behaved (as we are trying to teach him about cost and value). Initially he held off saying he wanted to think about it. Eventually he made his choice and went with it. He has only asked once since about how long it would be until he was able to receive something new.

So now, he wears his mask and jumps around web-slinging and talking in a low voice. The topic of Halloween came up and he immediately shared that he wanted Spiderman to be his costume and inquired if could he wear his mask. So unless he switches gears in September when I typically make a costume purchase, Spiderman it will be.

A bittersweet goodbye...

Cole began attending Orono Montessori school when he was 17 months old (May 2008). After months and months of him exhibiting severe separation anxiety, Dave and I made the decision that it was necessary for him to be socialized around others consistently. I knew it was going to be initially a very difficult change (for both of us). However, my best friend's kids had attended OMS and though it was a 15 minute one-way commute, I knew with her recommendation, the obvious and overwhelming happy energy I felt when we interviewed there, the awesome outdoor play areas, the Montessori method of learning and the smiles on the kid's faces, I knew that was the place for Cole to be.

I'll never forget the first morning I dropped him off in the toddler room into the capable and caring hands of Ms. Sara. Cole writhed and sobbed and looked at me with such confusion as I walked away. It had to be done but I sat in the parking lot, sobbing myself, knowing he would be fine but wondering how I would cope. It was a rough few weeks, Cole was not happy about the new arrangement. They told me he would settle down after I left each morning and I just had to trust them.

It was so odd coming home to a quiet house, I was off-balance and didn't quite know what to do with myself so I tackled numerous household projects to fill the time (3 days a week). Of course, eventually we fell into our new normal. Cole spent a year and half in Ms. Sara's room before moving to Ms. Leena's preschool classroom just shy of his 3rd birthday. Cole was not about to transition quietly. Thus began a new wave of tearful drop-offs as he adjusted to new teachers, friends and daily events. He remained hesitant to engage for months, choosing to observe from the sidelines much of the time. Cole readily took to the Montessori lessons but preferred not to take part in some of the more social aspects such as singing, face painting or any activity that was not his choice. Ms. Leena, Ms. Holly and Ms. Jenifer took him under their wings and gently coaxed him when he put on the brakes.

As he approached his 4th birthday, Cole began to come out of his shell. He knew what he liked and didn't like but was now able to communicate it instead of just welling up with tears. Cole still clung to Dave and I in the morning, reluctant to join in the chaos of 24 little voices clamoring to be heard. Who could blame him? LOL. He was becoming quite the chatterbox though and would talk your ear off about such random things!

Cole had several buddies at school with whom he would gravitate to at drop off and be with out on the playground at pick-up, running, chasing, pushing trucks, and building towers. Every afternoon I was greeted with a huge tackling hug. The kid's knew everyone's parents and made the announcements as we entered the building. I came in to help with art and science projects, reading, field trips and the photo shoot. I got to see how dedicated the OMS staff was in caring for 60 some children that weren't their own! Spending time on-site allowed me in an insider's view of how OMS handled discipline, respect, learning and growing. I was awed by what I saw!

It was a big year between his 4th and 5th birthdays. Cole had already shown us what a charming, funny, curious, goofy and bright kid he was but those traits had remained buttoned-up when he was in the company of others. He finally turned a corner somewhere in his 4th year and then Bam, all of a sudden he was making everyone laugh, he was expressing his silly side, he was more inclined to participate in group/team activity, he was randomly hugging his teachers. It was a huge and pivotal growth period. As he became more at ease, he was more apt to get involved on many levels which had a positive domino effect.

As he entered the 2011-2012 school year, he was one of the older students at OMS which meant he was asked to help out with the littler ones. He liked the responsibility. Cole continued to excel academically, amazing us with his aptitude with numbers and his overall ability with phonics. He was doing first grade work and he wasn't even in kindergarten.

We knew in the spring that he would be attending full-day kindergarten in St. Louis Park so his final months at OMS were drawing near. His most formative years have been under the guidance and loving care of the staff at OMS. Cole has thrived in this environment and it has been a joy to watch him grow into such a smart young lad. Much of that is his own doing, some of it ours as parents and much of it is attributable to the individuals at OMS which will forever be a part of Cole's history and we will forever hold the memories that were made here in our hearts.

The last morning I dropped him off yesterday, August 2, 2012, I had a huge lump in my throat and I held back tears as signed him in once last time. We gave gifts to his teachers and dished out lots of hugs. Dave and I had a mini-party for the kids at pick-up with popsicles and lollipops. Dave read "Oh the Places You Will Go" by Dr. Seuss. Soon it was time to pack up, take some pictures and say good-bye. We will visit often. Some things in life though necessary are so bittersweet.