This will be the last "chapter" summarizing our eventful September 2008. I look back now as I have written these past few posts and say "oh well, that's life" but at the time everything was happening, I was quite overwhelmed. Thanks for letting me document in dialogue as every step forward (and back) during that time added more lines to my face...LOL.
The second week of our Outer Banks getaway was as I mentioned in the previous post, FANTASTIC. Sadly just as we found our vacation groove it was time to pack up and head back to our real lives, miles away in Minnesota. With all the changes in our travel plans TO the east coast, we had kept our flights out of Charlotte on the return leg. We left Hatteras around 10am and expected to arrive at our day's destination by 5pm or so. Our plan was to then eat dinner, check in to the hotel and get up at the crack of dawn so that Dave and Tucker could drop Cole and I off for our early flight. Several hours into our road trip, we were cruising along, Cole was happy watching CARS on the DVD player. Dave and I chatted about the long hours ahead for him as he raced back to MN in order to get home so that we could use the car to get to Cole's ortho appointment on Monday morning. I felt badly that he was going to be pushed to drive through but Dave being the road trip veteran said he didn't mind at all, the thrill of pushing the envelope was a motivator. I kept thinking to myself, what a waste the 12 hours in Charlotte would be which began a crazy sequence of thoughts in mind. An hour later I blurted out "why don't we just drive through the night as a family and get home tomorrow midday?" We both looked at one another and laughed initially and then we both looked at one another again and said "hmmmm, maybe that could work", then we both looked at one another and said "let's do it!". We quickly found the nearest TARGET and stocked up on our library of DVDs, changed our GPS track and charge with adrenaline and our ambitious goal, began to head north towards WestVirigina instead of west towards Charlotte.
The afternoon and early evening went well. We stopped when both kids needed to stretch, eat and run or the Volvo needed gas (all in all we spent a heart stopping $996 in gas for this trip over almost three weeks...OUCH). The sun was setting as we headed through WV towards Ohio, 10 hours into a 24 hour drive. I drove about 150 miles with Dave taking the wheel the other 850. We had the Volvo packed so full that we couldn't use the rear view mirror so when it got dark, it was challenging for me to drive without it. Cole had been a trooper but now he was sick of his car seat. We had hoped with a full belly and with night falling that he would just go to sleep. Ummmm...did we forget who our child was? Did we actually think that our son who has never slept well a night in his life would suddenly be soothed by the motion of the car and rocked into dreamland? *sigh*...so after quite a bit of protesting, followed by quite a bit of wailing, I managed to crawl back into the tight space that Tucker occupied and got Cole to fall asleep. He kept waking up every 20-30 minutes so I stayed holed up back there with poor Tucker willing Cole to fall into a deeper sleep. Alas, that didn't happen for a few hours and thus, from sitting in such an awkward position, I threw my back out again. I had also begun to feel queasy and thought I was car sick. So I crawled back up front and after quite some time, I began to feel better. Of course, now that Cole is asleep, we need gas. We both knew as soon as the car stopped, he would wake and sure as "***", he did just that, protesting loudly. It was around midnight now, 14 hours down, 10 or so to go! I felt lousy and now thinking maybe I was getting sick. I had to crawl back again to get Cole back to sleep and begged him silently to fall back to sleep since I thought I was going to throw up and just wanted to lay my head and fall asleep myself.
Without much space I just crawled into a child's pose yoga position and rested my head on my heads. I was pushed up against a warm and sleeping Tucker on one side and thus I managed to nod off. Around 3am, Dave whispered until I awoke. He had to stop and rest himself. I still felt awful and thus I could be of no help in taking over the wheel. So somewhere in Bloomington, Illinois, Dave pulled into an empty parking lot near a hotel and we fell asleep as a family. Forty five minutes later, Dave awoke and felt ready to continue. So off we drove into the night. There were some bad storms coming across the plains so he changed our course to attempt to avoid the worst of them. So instead of heading north to Wisconsin, we continued due west towards Iowa. It would add some time to our drive but he hoped to not have to navigate in the dark during a thunderstorm.
Dawn broke and we found ourselves four hours from home. We were approaching 24 hours on the road but with stops and meals, our total time would be approximately 27 hours. At this point, we were counting down the miles and were relieved when we began to see signs for Minneapolis/St. Paul. Around noon we pulled into our driveway, a misty rain was falling, the yard was strewn with leaves as they had changed and fallen during out almost 3 weeks away but we were home.
Looking back, we ask one another if it was worth it and would we have done it again. The answer was probably yes. Getting home Sunday afternoon gave Dave time to regroup, rest and unwind. He wasn't pressed for time as he would have been if he was racing to make it home by Monday morning. He went to bed at 6pm exhausted but so glad to be back at 3408 Quebec Avenue South. Both Cole and I followed suit and hit the sack early. Cole still awoke numerous times but fell back to sleep soundly.
Other than unpacking on Sunday we also had to rearrange Cole's room immediately since he wouldn't sleep in the crib. Dave took the front rail off to create a daybed but he was still hitting his cast on the other rails so after two nights of multiple awakenings, we dismantled the crib entirely and brought up the spare queen mattress and put it on the floor. It has taken the past few weeks to adjust to his new surroundings but he is slowly back to his "normal" routine. With all of his non-sleeping habits, Cole never gave us problems going to sleep. Well that has changed as well, the power struggle over bedtime has begun and the challenge of getting him down before 8:30 or so has us both frustrated.
Cole's ortho appointments went well and his cast came off October 20. He wore a splint for just over a week and now is back to using the arm as he was pre-break. Cole may be a leftie now as he utilizes his left hand for most fine motor skills over his right. Time will tell as he continues to strengthen.
He goes back to school after a 8 week absence beginning next week. He would not have been able to play outside on the playground (sand) or paint or do many of the projects that they do at school without asking his teachers to closely supervise him. He gets messy when he eats and keeping his peers from spilling on him would have been a difficult task so it was just easier to monitor him at home.
We are now enjoying some late Indian summer weather (despite the snow that fell last weekend) and gearing up for the winter ahead. It was a crazy time for us Denhams but as they say "everything happens for a reason".
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The second to last installment...
*NOTE in order to read this in sequence, please begin with the October 12 posting and work your way up. I may decide to backdate these subsequent posts so you just read down but for now this is the easiest way for me to post.
So after another fitful night's sleep (for both Cole and I) we head off to the airport shortly after dawn for our 151 minute flight to Baltimore. Luckily I had scheduled a cab to pick us up because we did not want to pay for 18 days of airport parking plus with the Jeep dead in the garage, I couldn't have gotten there on our own.
We had purchased Cole his own seat on the plane as doing so worked well when I traveled solo to Pennsylvania last spring. He is easier to manage when he has wiggle room in the window seat. This however does not mean that he actually stays in the seat or that he didn't try for 151 minutes to climb under and over the seat, across my lap or try and wedge himself in what space actually does exist between the window seat and the foot space behind our seat.
I had my bag packed with distraction toys only to have those 15 or so items strewn all over with Cole purposely dropping them for me to repeatedly pick up. Oh the games we will play in order to keep our kids from rioting. Remember too that I was dodging his cast which he had learned to use as a weapon & as a musical instrument among other things. I was also forced to be constantly adjusting him from my awkwardly small seat in the middle position with a bad back which I had gained from carrying him the past week since he wanted to be held so often since he broke his arm. But most importantly we avoided any tantrums or spills and by whatever luck I was privileged to carry that morning, I had not one disgruntled passenger nor one poopy diaper to deal with. We arrived in Baltimore midday. I felt like a packmule with my charge and all his "stuff" but we made it out to meet Dave and I breathed a sigh of relief to have my husband (and another set of hands) with us again after such a stressful 24 hours.
We headed down to the Coleson Crick to spend some time with family following Roger's passing earlier in the week. Cole and Dave explored the barn and the grounds finding all kinds of fun things to tinker with. It was strange to be there for the first time without Roger but memories of my first meeting with him, along with all our many subsequent Sunday drives down for lunch, came flooding back. It is my hope that the Crick remains in the family so that Cole can visit and learn about his great grandpa in the years to come.
After spending two days in Nanjemoy, we headed south, following the familiar route to the Outer Banks that we had taken while living in Washington. We arrived in record time (and thus too early to check in to the rental property). So we drove around and reacquainted ourselves with one of our favorite destinations. We finally pulled up to the beach house and began unpacking the overflowing Volvo. Soon after the rest of the Scull clan arrived including my dad with our beloved Tucker!
The surf was rough and the winds were blowing on our first full day but the sun was out so we made the most of the day poolside. **NOTE I forgot to mention that the evening we came home from the hospital after Cole's surgery, I immediately got online to seek a cast cover that would save our vacation and allow Cole to partake in the requisite beach activities (along with the requisite baths that a dirty 22 month old needs). It essentially sealed out the air with a hand pump and kept water and debris out! It looked like he had a little flipper!
Monday we awoke to rain which was fine since Dave and I had to make the 40 minute drive to Nags Head which was where the hospital was to get Cole's follow up X-rays. A coastal storm was creeping towards us and we were keeping a close eye on its status but for now it was just a misty foggy drizzle.
The process at OBX Regional Hospital was simple and relatively short and we left with Cole's radiology reports and CD discs that we had to now take another 10 minutes up the road to be overnighted. There were only two UPS stores on the entire 150 mile stretch of the OBX and we found out since we were so far from a major airport that nothing could be overnighted. Hmmm...okay, I knew the ortho doc wasn't going to be happy, but what could we do, we were truly at the mercy of our remote location. So before we handed them over, Dave wanted to view them on the computer, so he did that while Cole and I headed to the nearby fudge shop. Minutes later, Dave comes in and says that one of the discs was blank. WHAT?? So we had to get back in the car and drive back to the hospital and have them re-do the discs and then drive back to the UPS store, all the while, I'm trying to connect with Cole's doctor's assistant to give her the update that the X-rays would arrive Wednesday not Tuesday as we all had expected. We also were shocked at the amount our small light package would take for a 2-day guarantee, $69! YIKES! We also now had to wait an additional 24 hours to confirm that Cole's arm was healing as it should so we had that cloud hanging over our heads an extra day. We did some tourist shopping and ate some lunch and headed back the 40 minutes to Salvo.
The storm sitting off the Carolina coast had gained strength and the weather reports were hedging bets on whether it would become a hurricane. Regardless, the next 3 days were going to be a wash out. The winds were rocking the house, the tides were already breaching the dunes and the waves were the highest and angriest we had ever seen them. Dare County made the decision to close Highway 12 and the Oregon Inlet Bridge which meant we were stuck on Hatteras Island for 24-48 hours. Scary and exciting and definitely a first in all our visits down there. So we made the most of it, watched movies, played pool, cards and board games and tried to nap.
Wednesday came and word from the ortho that though she was not 100% happy with the angle of the new X-rays she felt confident that no more shifting had occurred and confirmed that the cast remained tight. She wanted us to follow up with her again the Monday after our return for another round of images. Of course the only appointment they had on that Monday was in the morning which meant that Dave and Tucker would have to drive straight through after dropping Cole and I off in Charlotte since we only had the one car to utilize. *sigh*
The other obstacle we had been facing since Cole broke his arm was his refusal to sleep in his crib, one because he continually awoke when his cast banged against the rails and two, because he wanted one of us to comfort him to sleep. So moving to the pack n play while traveling wasn't working either. We set up the twin bed with pillow bumpers and had no choice but to let him be. He was waking multiple times and fighting going to sleep so it was an exhausting week for us in all honesty. He was clingy and wouldn't let anyone else other than Dave or I hold him for the better part of the week. He did warm up by week's end and our second week was much better as he made the adjustments. The weather was fantastic during week two and we were able to be at the beach and pool everyday. Cole had a blast with our friends who came down from DC with their three girls. It was chaos with 4 kiddos under 8 but a lively bunch with lots of laughter.
to be continued (one last time)...
So after another fitful night's sleep (for both Cole and I) we head off to the airport shortly after dawn for our 151 minute flight to Baltimore. Luckily I had scheduled a cab to pick us up because we did not want to pay for 18 days of airport parking plus with the Jeep dead in the garage, I couldn't have gotten there on our own.
We had purchased Cole his own seat on the plane as doing so worked well when I traveled solo to Pennsylvania last spring. He is easier to manage when he has wiggle room in the window seat. This however does not mean that he actually stays in the seat or that he didn't try for 151 minutes to climb under and over the seat, across my lap or try and wedge himself in what space actually does exist between the window seat and the foot space behind our seat.
I had my bag packed with distraction toys only to have those 15 or so items strewn all over with Cole purposely dropping them for me to repeatedly pick up. Oh the games we will play in order to keep our kids from rioting. Remember too that I was dodging his cast which he had learned to use as a weapon & as a musical instrument among other things. I was also forced to be constantly adjusting him from my awkwardly small seat in the middle position with a bad back which I had gained from carrying him the past week since he wanted to be held so often since he broke his arm. But most importantly we avoided any tantrums or spills and by whatever luck I was privileged to carry that morning, I had not one disgruntled passenger nor one poopy diaper to deal with. We arrived in Baltimore midday. I felt like a packmule with my charge and all his "stuff" but we made it out to meet Dave and I breathed a sigh of relief to have my husband (and another set of hands) with us again after such a stressful 24 hours.
We headed down to the Coleson Crick to spend some time with family following Roger's passing earlier in the week. Cole and Dave explored the barn and the grounds finding all kinds of fun things to tinker with. It was strange to be there for the first time without Roger but memories of my first meeting with him, along with all our many subsequent Sunday drives down for lunch, came flooding back. It is my hope that the Crick remains in the family so that Cole can visit and learn about his great grandpa in the years to come.
After spending two days in Nanjemoy, we headed south, following the familiar route to the Outer Banks that we had taken while living in Washington. We arrived in record time (and thus too early to check in to the rental property). So we drove around and reacquainted ourselves with one of our favorite destinations. We finally pulled up to the beach house and began unpacking the overflowing Volvo. Soon after the rest of the Scull clan arrived including my dad with our beloved Tucker!
The surf was rough and the winds were blowing on our first full day but the sun was out so we made the most of the day poolside. **NOTE I forgot to mention that the evening we came home from the hospital after Cole's surgery, I immediately got online to seek a cast cover that would save our vacation and allow Cole to partake in the requisite beach activities (along with the requisite baths that a dirty 22 month old needs). It essentially sealed out the air with a hand pump and kept water and debris out! It looked like he had a little flipper!
Monday we awoke to rain which was fine since Dave and I had to make the 40 minute drive to Nags Head which was where the hospital was to get Cole's follow up X-rays. A coastal storm was creeping towards us and we were keeping a close eye on its status but for now it was just a misty foggy drizzle.
The process at OBX Regional Hospital was simple and relatively short and we left with Cole's radiology reports and CD discs that we had to now take another 10 minutes up the road to be overnighted. There were only two UPS stores on the entire 150 mile stretch of the OBX and we found out since we were so far from a major airport that nothing could be overnighted. Hmmm...okay, I knew the ortho doc wasn't going to be happy, but what could we do, we were truly at the mercy of our remote location. So before we handed them over, Dave wanted to view them on the computer, so he did that while Cole and I headed to the nearby fudge shop. Minutes later, Dave comes in and says that one of the discs was blank. WHAT?? So we had to get back in the car and drive back to the hospital and have them re-do the discs and then drive back to the UPS store, all the while, I'm trying to connect with Cole's doctor's assistant to give her the update that the X-rays would arrive Wednesday not Tuesday as we all had expected. We also were shocked at the amount our small light package would take for a 2-day guarantee, $69! YIKES! We also now had to wait an additional 24 hours to confirm that Cole's arm was healing as it should so we had that cloud hanging over our heads an extra day. We did some tourist shopping and ate some lunch and headed back the 40 minutes to Salvo.
The storm sitting off the Carolina coast had gained strength and the weather reports were hedging bets on whether it would become a hurricane. Regardless, the next 3 days were going to be a wash out. The winds were rocking the house, the tides were already breaching the dunes and the waves were the highest and angriest we had ever seen them. Dare County made the decision to close Highway 12 and the Oregon Inlet Bridge which meant we were stuck on Hatteras Island for 24-48 hours. Scary and exciting and definitely a first in all our visits down there. So we made the most of it, watched movies, played pool, cards and board games and tried to nap.
Wednesday came and word from the ortho that though she was not 100% happy with the angle of the new X-rays she felt confident that no more shifting had occurred and confirmed that the cast remained tight. She wanted us to follow up with her again the Monday after our return for another round of images. Of course the only appointment they had on that Monday was in the morning which meant that Dave and Tucker would have to drive straight through after dropping Cole and I off in Charlotte since we only had the one car to utilize. *sigh*
The other obstacle we had been facing since Cole broke his arm was his refusal to sleep in his crib, one because he continually awoke when his cast banged against the rails and two, because he wanted one of us to comfort him to sleep. So moving to the pack n play while traveling wasn't working either. We set up the twin bed with pillow bumpers and had no choice but to let him be. He was waking multiple times and fighting going to sleep so it was an exhausting week for us in all honesty. He was clingy and wouldn't let anyone else other than Dave or I hold him for the better part of the week. He did warm up by week's end and our second week was much better as he made the adjustments. The weather was fantastic during week two and we were able to be at the beach and pool everyday. Cole had a blast with our friends who came down from DC with their three girls. It was chaos with 4 kiddos under 8 but a lively bunch with lots of laughter.
to be continued (one last time)...
Friday, October 17, 2008
Debrief continues...
*NOTE in order to read this in sequence, please begin with the October 12 posting and work your way up. I may decide to backdate these subsequent posts so you just read down but for now this is the easiest way for me to post.
So back in June when we first began talking about our Outer Banks vacation, Dave and I had decided that maybe it would be wise for Cole and I to fly into Charlotte, NC. He and Tucker would then pick us up for the remaining 6 hour drive to Hatteras Island. Keeping our moving target still for the entire 24 hour drive would be asking way too much of all of us so that was our plan. When back in late August we learned of Roger's tenuous health condition, we decided that Cole and I would fly to Baltimore, MD instead on Thursday, September 18 in hopes that we could visit with Roger and Margie for a few days, and then head as a family down to the Outer Banks. So we changed our flight and crossed our fingers. When Roger passed on September 15, we decided that we would keep with our flights and visit with the family who remained at the Coleson Crick.
So Dave returned from Maryland on Tuesday, September 16, where he did the quickest turnaround both at the office and at home having not expected to have been absent the past three days. I had begun staging our packing needs for Outer Banks about two weeks prior in our basement since we had to bring so much "stuff". It was ready for Dave upon his return and by late Tuesday evening, the Volvo was full, heavy and ready for a road trip. He and Tucker left early Wednesday morning where the destination was the 19 hour drive to Pennsylvania. He would be dropping Tucker off with my parents who would bring him down to the Outer Banks for us since we could not have him down at Dave's grandparent's farm (no fence, too much water and Tayloe, Roger's Doberman who had not taken to Tucker in years prior). Dave would then drive to Baltimore on Thursday and pick Cole and I up at the airport and then we would head to the Crick.
On the same day as Dave's trek to PA, Cole and I had his one week post-surgical follow up appointment with the ortho doc over in St. Paul. He and I got there early and headed over to X-ray knowing we had a slight wait until our appointment with the doc. When we got called back immediately, my radar went off and I knew before I knew that something was wrong. Dr. Quanbeck met us in Purple Room 6 and I could tell by her demeanor as I entered that indeed something was not as it should be. She proceeded to show me Cole's x-rays which depicted a large black space between his cast and his arm. This meant the cast had loosened as his swelling had subsided over the past 7 days and because the cast had loosened so greatly and Cole was such an active toddler, the bones unfortunately had shifted, both of them. My heart sank and I began to feel dizzy as she explained that she was not comfortable putting him back under anesthesia again to reduce the bones and that the amount of reduction was far less than the first time so they could manually reduce him in the office. They would remove his original cast, take X-rays until she was happy with the position of the bones and then recast him. With no time to think or digest this terrible diagnosis but knowing how distressing the next few hours would be, we moved to the casting room.
Cole was already stressed about being back in the hospital. I could read the terror in his eyes as the 3 nurses and doc descended on his room. They had put on the movie CARS as a vain attempt to distract him. He wanted to be held with his head buried in my chest but they needed me to sit him facing out on my lap securing his good arm. You have no idea how strong a child is until they are reacting out of pure fear and pain. They masterfully cut away at his cast and I swear that Cole already knew what was coming. They braced me and walked me through each step as it happenend but my mind was on overload and it sounded like muffled noise as they spoke. I was working on automatic mode, struggling to stay strong and keep back my tears. I sang and sang trying to soothe my son and felt angry that this was occurring without warning but reality was reality and I had to live in that moment. They raced us to X-ray after "pushing" on him the first time only to learn they had to "push" again. Back to X-ray again with him screaming, having to put on the protective gear with one arm as the techs helped me position Cole. Finally, after the third "push", Dr. Quanbeck was satisfied. The bones had to be less than 10% displaced in order for them to heal correctly so that they could rotate around one another as the bones in the forearm must. As he grows, the bones will continue to straighten, so she would okay with <10%. Now a new cast had to be put on, a plaster cast over the broken lower arm and then the full arm fiberglass cast. Putting a cast on a writhing 22 month old was a feat. I had plaster in my hair, on my clothes, on Cole's clothes and shoes. I was sweating, I had not eaten, and I was emotionally drained at this point. What I thought would have been a 30 minute follow up appointment had now stretched to almost three hours. Dr. Quanbeck was confident that this new tighter cast would not slip since his swelling had subsided but to ensure this she wanted us back for another follow up the following week. Well, we were leaving the next day for our 18 days away. Crap, okay, so we decided that Dave and I would take Cole to the Outer Banks Hospital radiology department for X-rays and have them sent to her overnight for review. If all was well, then we wouldn't be back again until his cast came off on October 20. If all was not as it should be, well, in her words "we will cross that bridge if it comes to that". She had her assistant call the OBX hospital and confirm our arrangement.
So with all that behind us, Cole and I headed out to the Jeep (as Dave had taken the Volvo). Cole was so fatigued by the ordeal, I just wanted to get him home. I got him situated with the last rice cake I had in my diaper bag and went to start the car. The key wouldn't go all the way in. I repositioned the steering wheel and tried again. Panic surged up my nerve pathways as I tried several more times without success. I banged on the steering column and made sure the gear was in PARK. Nothing! I called Dave who at this point had no idea how our morning had evolved and who was dealing with a road closure near Chicago. I was trying to stay calm but that ability had long departed. He walked me through some potential fixes to no avail. He would call USAA road assistance and I would contact hospital security. I got Cole back out of the car and back into the stroller. I stood momentarily in disbelief staring at the Jeep willing it to rev into action. Hospital security arrived and tried several attempts with no success. So back into the hospital we went. Cole was becoming agitated so I decided to walk with him as I waited impatiently for Dave to call back. USAA called and said it would upwards of 2 hours before someone could reach me. They felt the problem could be resolved but if not then we would get a tow. As the information sunk in that I would now have to wait an agonizing 2 hours, Dave called back and I broke down. Cole and I eventually went back to the playroom where he bounced back from his ordeal and I wanted to just combust. He was a trooper for the almost 3 HOURS it actually took for the repair service to arrive. The guy was able to jury rig the ignition to start but said it would die again once I got home. Thankfully, we would be going home, albeit at this point in rush hour traffic. So after arriving at 10:30 that morning we pulled into our garage at 5:45. The Jeep indeed would not start again but at this point, we were home. Cole was not interested in food and I so I held him until he fell asleep. I then had to run around racing to complete the last minute To-Do's I had anticipated having the entire afternoon to finish before our departure early the following morning.
to be continued...
So back in June when we first began talking about our Outer Banks vacation, Dave and I had decided that maybe it would be wise for Cole and I to fly into Charlotte, NC. He and Tucker would then pick us up for the remaining 6 hour drive to Hatteras Island. Keeping our moving target still for the entire 24 hour drive would be asking way too much of all of us so that was our plan. When back in late August we learned of Roger's tenuous health condition, we decided that Cole and I would fly to Baltimore, MD instead on Thursday, September 18 in hopes that we could visit with Roger and Margie for a few days, and then head as a family down to the Outer Banks. So we changed our flight and crossed our fingers. When Roger passed on September 15, we decided that we would keep with our flights and visit with the family who remained at the Coleson Crick.
So Dave returned from Maryland on Tuesday, September 16, where he did the quickest turnaround both at the office and at home having not expected to have been absent the past three days. I had begun staging our packing needs for Outer Banks about two weeks prior in our basement since we had to bring so much "stuff". It was ready for Dave upon his return and by late Tuesday evening, the Volvo was full, heavy and ready for a road trip. He and Tucker left early Wednesday morning where the destination was the 19 hour drive to Pennsylvania. He would be dropping Tucker off with my parents who would bring him down to the Outer Banks for us since we could not have him down at Dave's grandparent's farm (no fence, too much water and Tayloe, Roger's Doberman who had not taken to Tucker in years prior). Dave would then drive to Baltimore on Thursday and pick Cole and I up at the airport and then we would head to the Crick.
On the same day as Dave's trek to PA, Cole and I had his one week post-surgical follow up appointment with the ortho doc over in St. Paul. He and I got there early and headed over to X-ray knowing we had a slight wait until our appointment with the doc. When we got called back immediately, my radar went off and I knew before I knew that something was wrong. Dr. Quanbeck met us in Purple Room 6 and I could tell by her demeanor as I entered that indeed something was not as it should be. She proceeded to show me Cole's x-rays which depicted a large black space between his cast and his arm. This meant the cast had loosened as his swelling had subsided over the past 7 days and because the cast had loosened so greatly and Cole was such an active toddler, the bones unfortunately had shifted, both of them. My heart sank and I began to feel dizzy as she explained that she was not comfortable putting him back under anesthesia again to reduce the bones and that the amount of reduction was far less than the first time so they could manually reduce him in the office. They would remove his original cast, take X-rays until she was happy with the position of the bones and then recast him. With no time to think or digest this terrible diagnosis but knowing how distressing the next few hours would be, we moved to the casting room.
Cole was already stressed about being back in the hospital. I could read the terror in his eyes as the 3 nurses and doc descended on his room. They had put on the movie CARS as a vain attempt to distract him. He wanted to be held with his head buried in my chest but they needed me to sit him facing out on my lap securing his good arm. You have no idea how strong a child is until they are reacting out of pure fear and pain. They masterfully cut away at his cast and I swear that Cole already knew what was coming. They braced me and walked me through each step as it happenend but my mind was on overload and it sounded like muffled noise as they spoke. I was working on automatic mode, struggling to stay strong and keep back my tears. I sang and sang trying to soothe my son and felt angry that this was occurring without warning but reality was reality and I had to live in that moment. They raced us to X-ray after "pushing" on him the first time only to learn they had to "push" again. Back to X-ray again with him screaming, having to put on the protective gear with one arm as the techs helped me position Cole. Finally, after the third "push", Dr. Quanbeck was satisfied. The bones had to be less than 10% displaced in order for them to heal correctly so that they could rotate around one another as the bones in the forearm must. As he grows, the bones will continue to straighten, so she would okay with <10%. Now a new cast had to be put on, a plaster cast over the broken lower arm and then the full arm fiberglass cast. Putting a cast on a writhing 22 month old was a feat. I had plaster in my hair, on my clothes, on Cole's clothes and shoes. I was sweating, I had not eaten, and I was emotionally drained at this point. What I thought would have been a 30 minute follow up appointment had now stretched to almost three hours. Dr. Quanbeck was confident that this new tighter cast would not slip since his swelling had subsided but to ensure this she wanted us back for another follow up the following week. Well, we were leaving the next day for our 18 days away. Crap, okay, so we decided that Dave and I would take Cole to the Outer Banks Hospital radiology department for X-rays and have them sent to her overnight for review. If all was well, then we wouldn't be back again until his cast came off on October 20. If all was not as it should be, well, in her words "we will cross that bridge if it comes to that". She had her assistant call the OBX hospital and confirm our arrangement.
So with all that behind us, Cole and I headed out to the Jeep (as Dave had taken the Volvo). Cole was so fatigued by the ordeal, I just wanted to get him home. I got him situated with the last rice cake I had in my diaper bag and went to start the car. The key wouldn't go all the way in. I repositioned the steering wheel and tried again. Panic surged up my nerve pathways as I tried several more times without success. I banged on the steering column and made sure the gear was in PARK. Nothing! I called Dave who at this point had no idea how our morning had evolved and who was dealing with a road closure near Chicago. I was trying to stay calm but that ability had long departed. He walked me through some potential fixes to no avail. He would call USAA road assistance and I would contact hospital security. I got Cole back out of the car and back into the stroller. I stood momentarily in disbelief staring at the Jeep willing it to rev into action. Hospital security arrived and tried several attempts with no success. So back into the hospital we went. Cole was becoming agitated so I decided to walk with him as I waited impatiently for Dave to call back. USAA called and said it would upwards of 2 hours before someone could reach me. They felt the problem could be resolved but if not then we would get a tow. As the information sunk in that I would now have to wait an agonizing 2 hours, Dave called back and I broke down. Cole and I eventually went back to the playroom where he bounced back from his ordeal and I wanted to just combust. He was a trooper for the almost 3 HOURS it actually took for the repair service to arrive. The guy was able to jury rig the ignition to start but said it would die again once I got home. Thankfully, we would be going home, albeit at this point in rush hour traffic. So after arriving at 10:30 that morning we pulled into our garage at 5:45. The Jeep indeed would not start again but at this point, we were home. Cole was not interested in food and I so I held him until he fell asleep. I then had to run around racing to complete the last minute To-Do's I had anticipated having the entire afternoon to finish before our departure early the following morning.
to be continued...
Sunday, October 12, 2008
A debriefing on the Denham's September 2008...
With the exception of my post honoring Cole's great grandfather Roger, no other blogging attempts have made my daily agenda since early September. As I sit here to summarize the past 30 days into a blog worthy post, I'm not sure where to begin, other than to place a disclaimer for my readers that it will be the longest post I have ever written. I think I will actually post in sections/chapters on different days instead of posting an all-in-one!
The month began with a beautiful and warm Labor Day weekend. We went for a long hike with the kids at Baker Reserve, enjoyed the veggies from our garden, drank some vino sitting around our new firepit and chatted excitedly about our upcoming vacation to the Outer Banks.
The week following the long holiday weekend brought the sad news regarding an infection that Dave's grandfather Roger, stricken with cancer, was fighting. Dave's mom flew to Maryland from Oregon when Dave's grandmother Margie fell ill as well. We got daily updates which vascillated in tone and though we hoped for the best, our worst fears regarding Roger's health were being played out.
That very same week, Cole's cute little head was featured bopping around on PBS Kid's Sprout PIC ME segment (I blogged about this so I won't write about the specifics again here). That very same day that I spent two hours watching the PIC ME show in order to capture Cole's "adventure" on TV, I drove to Montessori school to pick him up and found him inconsolable. His teachers indicated that he had been crying for two hours, moaning, et al. My immediate reaction as he ran into my arms was to remain calm as he is so sensitive that he picks up on my anxiety. He had nestled into my shoulder and was obviously distraught but I could not peal him off me to ascertain what was wrong. No one had seen him fall and he didn't initially seem like anything was injured. So I gathered his belongings as he refused to be put down and headed to the car.
A pure shot of fear ran through me as I attempted to thread his right arm through the straps on his car seat. He let out a shriek of pain that sent shivers up my spine. I had no option other than to begin driving home and hope that maybe once I got him home, I could manage damage control, having NO IDEA what exactly was wrong but now knowing that someone was definitely not right. He began to settle down on the 20 minute drive home still wimpering and looking so tired and haggard as I continually glanced in my rear view mirror. He normally runs from the garage to the yard and thus my second pang of fear crept in as he refused to get out of his car seat. I gingerly lifted him out as he began to rev back up with his crying. I got him in the house and went upstairs to try to figure out what was going on. I laid him down on our bed and realized then that he was guarding his entire right arm and shoulder. I began to sweat as I realized he wasn't moving any part of either. I quickly changed his diaper and attempted to make him move his fingers which he wouldn't. I finally couldn't keep my wits about me and I panicked, calling Dave. I rambled on to him about the past 45 minutes and said "something is very wrong". I needed him to tell me what to do because after being strong, I was losing control as my emotions temporarily superceded my ability to think. Do I go to the ER, call the pediatrician? Call the peds first and ask them what to do. It was 4:30. All the while, Cole is just a lump in my arms. The nurse scheduled us to come in right away.
As I proceeded down stairs, I tried to remember to grab anything I might need as I had no idea what the following hours held for us. It took me 5 minutes to get him into the car seat because he was in so much pain and thus he fought with me. I sang, I made silly faces, I distracted with his cars but none of my tricks were working. I raced over to the peds office, willing rush hour traffic to get out of my way. We got taken back and he refused to let me put him down anywhere. Our peds wasn't there but a colleague was. We couldn't get him to calm down enough to be evaluated. I finally said, can we go out to your picture window? She looked at me knowing I had a logical reason and out we headed. The trucks thundered past on Minnetonka Blvd and Cole stopped crying and pointed with his good arm and said repeatedly of his favorite thing "trucks, trucks!!". The pediatricain asked if I could hold his good hand and ask him to point with the bad one so she could determine whether it was his shoulder, elbow, arm, wrist, hand etc. After several rounds of this "game" the doc was able to narrow it down to his forearm. Now that we had him relatively calm, she examined him while he and I continued to watch for trucks. He did have a "bow" to his right lower forearm and swelling midline. She said we have to have X-rays but they would do them quickly but I couldn't be in the room. So there I stood slumped against the wall, willing back tears as the two nurses x-rayed him, his blood curdling screams making me wince. We waited 10 minutes when a nurse came in with a shot of Tylenol and I knew then what the news was going to be. Sure enough, Dr. Gold came in with a copy of the X-rays which showed both his Ulna and Radius snapped at the midline. They had called Gillette Children's Hospital but he wasn't considered an emergency so they would have to immobilize him for the night and we would head over to St. Paul first thing the next day. She also indicated that he couldn't eat after 6am, just in case he needed surgery. Needless to say, our night was horrific, as Cole as so uncomfortable and fearful and neither Dave nor I could sleep. I had so many things floating around in my head I was nauseous. I had called the school to attempt to find out ANYTHING that might explain what happenend to Cole and though I felt in my heart that it was an accident it certainly made me question some things. I felt guilty, I felt scared, I felt angry, I felt weak and helpless as his mom who couldn't make things better for him and I felt unprepared for this kind of thing occurring so early in his life.
Off we drove to Gillette Children's Hospital the next morning to meet with the pediatric ortho specialist. They took more X-rays which Cole fought with fervor and the verdict came in. He would indeed need to go under anesthesia to reduce the broken bones and cast him. Unforuntately, she triaged patients in the morning and surgeries took place in the afternoon, so we had time to waste. UGH! Cole played in their playroom and we walked around with the inevitable looming over our heads. Finally it was our time and the nurses took us to the surgery suite. I was having a hard time not shaking as they began his prep. The lights and people were overwhelming to Cole who had experienced way too much in a short blip of time and he wanted nothing to do with anyone. Finally, Dave left with Cole and the docs where he was allowed to remain until they put Cole under. I sobbed in the suite willing myself to focus on the outcome. Time ticked by ever so slowly, when finally Dr. Quanbeck came to get us and give us the summary. Everything went well and he was in recovery. Relief seeped from my every pore.
We headed home after spending close to 7 hours at the hospital. Numerous friends had dropped off food, walked Tucker and left messages for us. The first 24-48 hours would be critical to ensure that Cole didn't develop Compartment Syndrome which can cause severe swelling following reduction. So we were up every 3 hours (well we were pretty much awake anyway) to check Cole's fingers and position. He was unsteady on his feet, very irritable and with no appetite for 2-3 days. He got frustrated at his inability to play like he was used too but he was adjusting as we knew he would.
Saturday the 13th, the call came from Dave's mom that things were dire with Roger and could he come to Maryland immediately. He hopped on a flight on Sunday morning and drove to the Coleson Crick with his sister. Roger was never able to speak with Dave as he had been "sleeping" since the previous day but Dave was able to talk to him and share his memories with his grandfather. Roger passed from this life Monday the 15th surrounded by his family. Dave came home to Minnesota on Tuesday the 16th as Roger's service will be at Arlington National Cemetary in December.
to be continued...
The month began with a beautiful and warm Labor Day weekend. We went for a long hike with the kids at Baker Reserve, enjoyed the veggies from our garden, drank some vino sitting around our new firepit and chatted excitedly about our upcoming vacation to the Outer Banks.
The week following the long holiday weekend brought the sad news regarding an infection that Dave's grandfather Roger, stricken with cancer, was fighting. Dave's mom flew to Maryland from Oregon when Dave's grandmother Margie fell ill as well. We got daily updates which vascillated in tone and though we hoped for the best, our worst fears regarding Roger's health were being played out.
That very same week, Cole's cute little head was featured bopping around on PBS Kid's Sprout PIC ME segment (I blogged about this so I won't write about the specifics again here). That very same day that I spent two hours watching the PIC ME show in order to capture Cole's "adventure" on TV, I drove to Montessori school to pick him up and found him inconsolable. His teachers indicated that he had been crying for two hours, moaning, et al. My immediate reaction as he ran into my arms was to remain calm as he is so sensitive that he picks up on my anxiety. He had nestled into my shoulder and was obviously distraught but I could not peal him off me to ascertain what was wrong. No one had seen him fall and he didn't initially seem like anything was injured. So I gathered his belongings as he refused to be put down and headed to the car.
A pure shot of fear ran through me as I attempted to thread his right arm through the straps on his car seat. He let out a shriek of pain that sent shivers up my spine. I had no option other than to begin driving home and hope that maybe once I got him home, I could manage damage control, having NO IDEA what exactly was wrong but now knowing that someone was definitely not right. He began to settle down on the 20 minute drive home still wimpering and looking so tired and haggard as I continually glanced in my rear view mirror. He normally runs from the garage to the yard and thus my second pang of fear crept in as he refused to get out of his car seat. I gingerly lifted him out as he began to rev back up with his crying. I got him in the house and went upstairs to try to figure out what was going on. I laid him down on our bed and realized then that he was guarding his entire right arm and shoulder. I began to sweat as I realized he wasn't moving any part of either. I quickly changed his diaper and attempted to make him move his fingers which he wouldn't. I finally couldn't keep my wits about me and I panicked, calling Dave. I rambled on to him about the past 45 minutes and said "something is very wrong". I needed him to tell me what to do because after being strong, I was losing control as my emotions temporarily superceded my ability to think. Do I go to the ER, call the pediatrician? Call the peds first and ask them what to do. It was 4:30. All the while, Cole is just a lump in my arms. The nurse scheduled us to come in right away.
As I proceeded down stairs, I tried to remember to grab anything I might need as I had no idea what the following hours held for us. It took me 5 minutes to get him into the car seat because he was in so much pain and thus he fought with me. I sang, I made silly faces, I distracted with his cars but none of my tricks were working. I raced over to the peds office, willing rush hour traffic to get out of my way. We got taken back and he refused to let me put him down anywhere. Our peds wasn't there but a colleague was. We couldn't get him to calm down enough to be evaluated. I finally said, can we go out to your picture window? She looked at me knowing I had a logical reason and out we headed. The trucks thundered past on Minnetonka Blvd and Cole stopped crying and pointed with his good arm and said repeatedly of his favorite thing "trucks, trucks!!". The pediatricain asked if I could hold his good hand and ask him to point with the bad one so she could determine whether it was his shoulder, elbow, arm, wrist, hand etc. After several rounds of this "game" the doc was able to narrow it down to his forearm. Now that we had him relatively calm, she examined him while he and I continued to watch for trucks. He did have a "bow" to his right lower forearm and swelling midline. She said we have to have X-rays but they would do them quickly but I couldn't be in the room. So there I stood slumped against the wall, willing back tears as the two nurses x-rayed him, his blood curdling screams making me wince. We waited 10 minutes when a nurse came in with a shot of Tylenol and I knew then what the news was going to be. Sure enough, Dr. Gold came in with a copy of the X-rays which showed both his Ulna and Radius snapped at the midline. They had called Gillette Children's Hospital but he wasn't considered an emergency so they would have to immobilize him for the night and we would head over to St. Paul first thing the next day. She also indicated that he couldn't eat after 6am, just in case he needed surgery. Needless to say, our night was horrific, as Cole as so uncomfortable and fearful and neither Dave nor I could sleep. I had so many things floating around in my head I was nauseous. I had called the school to attempt to find out ANYTHING that might explain what happenend to Cole and though I felt in my heart that it was an accident it certainly made me question some things. I felt guilty, I felt scared, I felt angry, I felt weak and helpless as his mom who couldn't make things better for him and I felt unprepared for this kind of thing occurring so early in his life.
Off we drove to Gillette Children's Hospital the next morning to meet with the pediatric ortho specialist. They took more X-rays which Cole fought with fervor and the verdict came in. He would indeed need to go under anesthesia to reduce the broken bones and cast him. Unforuntately, she triaged patients in the morning and surgeries took place in the afternoon, so we had time to waste. UGH! Cole played in their playroom and we walked around with the inevitable looming over our heads. Finally it was our time and the nurses took us to the surgery suite. I was having a hard time not shaking as they began his prep. The lights and people were overwhelming to Cole who had experienced way too much in a short blip of time and he wanted nothing to do with anyone. Finally, Dave left with Cole and the docs where he was allowed to remain until they put Cole under. I sobbed in the suite willing myself to focus on the outcome. Time ticked by ever so slowly, when finally Dr. Quanbeck came to get us and give us the summary. Everything went well and he was in recovery. Relief seeped from my every pore.
We headed home after spending close to 7 hours at the hospital. Numerous friends had dropped off food, walked Tucker and left messages for us. The first 24-48 hours would be critical to ensure that Cole didn't develop Compartment Syndrome which can cause severe swelling following reduction. So we were up every 3 hours (well we were pretty much awake anyway) to check Cole's fingers and position. He was unsteady on his feet, very irritable and with no appetite for 2-3 days. He got frustrated at his inability to play like he was used too but he was adjusting as we knew he would.
Saturday the 13th, the call came from Dave's mom that things were dire with Roger and could he come to Maryland immediately. He hopped on a flight on Sunday morning and drove to the Coleson Crick with his sister. Roger was never able to speak with Dave as he had been "sleeping" since the previous day but Dave was able to talk to him and share his memories with his grandfather. Roger passed from this life Monday the 15th surrounded by his family. Dave came home to Minnesota on Tuesday the 16th as Roger's service will be at Arlington National Cemetary in December.
to be continued...
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