Whether it be...

Whether it is because my little rascal is throwing a fit so dramatic it could be worthy of an Oscar; whether it is him flashing his million dollar smile as he splashes in his bath; whether it is the impish grin he throws in my direction as he dashes off for a game of catch-me; whether it be his lowered eyes avoiding my firm reproach as he continues to purposefully and precariously perch himself on the back of the couch; whether it is his predictable cranky mood after his daily nap; whether it is the acrobatic routine before bed that makes me think he was a circus performer in a previous life; whether it is the way he runs to me saying MOMMY in his lilting voice EVERYTIME I pick him up from Montessori; whether it is the fact that he goes full tilt 94% of the day while the other 6% he lollygags when I actually need to him to MOVE; whether it be the way his face lights up when I sing; whether it is that it brings tears to my eyes each time he really hurts himself; whether it is that I feel like a mother bear protecting her young when he gets pushed at the playground; whether it is the fatigue that makes me nauseous at times because he won't sleep through the night; whether it be that I get warm and fuzzy observing Cole hugging Tucker with his arms around his big soft head and Tucker responding with the gentlest nudge of his nose; whether it is the fascination that I feel watching Cole explore himself and his place in this world; whether it is the pure joy that oozes from my pores as I listen to him giggle or whether it is the sound of his breathe and the vulnerability he exudes as he sleeps

Whether it be all of these reasons and an infinite many more, I should always remember and respect that becoming a mother is a privilege like no other.

In like a LION...

It has been as wild and unpredictable around the Denham household as it is in the mighty jungle. So the saying that the month of March comes in like a lion would be very apropos.

Cole has always been strong willed, independently minded and curious. He has tooted to his own proverbial horn since he came into this world BUT he has taken his personality to a whole other stratosphere these past weeks. We had some hints the past month or so that we were not to escape the TERRIBLE TWOS, however one always has hope. That stated, just about EVERYTHING more often than not has become a struggle:

Eating (he won't), I'm lucky if the child eats 1/8 of everything I put on his plate!

Going to bed (it is like he is in the circus with the acrobatic routine he performs once lights are out)

Staying asleep (he still wakes at least once during the night, if not twice so no wonder I have the continued sleep deprived look I had when he was a newborn)

Getting dressed (he has to be pinned down some times so that I can wrestle with him to get his clothes on; same goes for diaper changes)

Getting out the door ( he runs around the house until I finally grab him and once again wrestle with him to get his jacket on though I must give him kudos for putting on his own hat and gloves)

Getting into the car (he races around the backyard or the garage pad because I am normally weighed down like a pack mule and can't carry his 30lbs and everything else, so I put everything in the Volvo and have to play chase in cold weather on icy concrete)

Behavior, he has begun PUSHING which is a NO-NO and hence his first time out at school happened last week; he started pushing Tucker and pushing Dave and I away; we obviously are being consistent with our discipline on this; typically it happens at the end of the day (understandable sure, I feel many times like PUSHING since I have had very limited personal space for approximately 810 days but that is why I work out and drink wine).

He also has started with the colossal emotionally charged meltdowns (over his books falling from his hands, Tucker lapping up something he drops, his trains toppling over, sharing ANYTHING with ANYBODY and on and on...) He even has gotten upset several times when I put my now shoulder length hair into a ponytail (MOMMY OFF with such vehemence in his voice as he tugs at my hairband as if I have done him such an offense).

If I can distract him within 1.4 seconds, I can diffuse or soften the tantrum but sometimes I just have to let him have his breakdown, check in with him, letting him know I'm there with a hug. The hardest challenge for me is twofold, I hate to see him so visibly upset with body shuddering and face blotchy and secondly, I become exasperated many times as some fits are over something specific that he can't communicate to me though he tries his darnedest repeating unintelligible toddler speak over and over in sheer frustration. I as his mom should just be able to figure his needs out (Yes, I am supposed to be a mindreader!!)

So onward march (or March) as we forge ahead with hopes that the Denhams can come OUT like a lamb by month's end!