An "engine" of a different kind...

We just spent four days in California, a much needed getaway for the three of us. It was Cole's first visit to the City by the Bay and we got to share some of our favorite places with him. He is a wonderful traveler!

Two days we spent down in beautiful coastal Monterrey as Dave ran his second Big Sur Marathon. Enjoying the scenery at Asilomar State Beach just a few miles up the road from the famous 17 Mile Drive we found ourselves walking through tidal pools in the chilly Pacific Ocean. We were in awe of the fantastic and breath taking seascape, with spring flowers dotting every rock/crevice.

Dave and I enjoyed a bottle of wine to celebrate his 26.2 finish as Cole ran back and forth, to and fro, around and around as usual. He is very much into pretend play and loves to create racetracks with bridges and crossings. He stops to get tire changes, fill up with gas and recover from crashes. He plays up the sound effects well with his BROOOMM BROOOMMs and his VROOM VROOMs. He raced around loving being barefoot, purposely "spinning" out and landing into the soft sand.

At one point Dave asked him as he changed Cole's tires (his feet) whether he needed an engine tuneup. Cole pointed at his penis and said "no my engine is fine". Dave and I laughed solid for the better part of five minutes. It was one of the highlights of our trip along with our views of the Golden Gate Bridge, the waves and black stones at Rodeo Beach, the 360 degree panorama of the entire city from Alta Vista Park in Pacific Heights, our belly laughs at Ed's analogies on our quick overnight with the Kawashiris and in general our time spent together as a family in the city where Dave and I left our hearts in 2003!

What's Gonna Work....

In all disclosure, Cole watches more TV than I like. It is the reality of my world that I use it as a babysitter of sorts in order to prep/make dinner, to reply to emails, to manage my PT work, to take a shower in peace or to attempt to read the newspaper.

Don't think badly of me as when I say he watches too much TV it is my guilt that trips me up more than the actual amount of TV time itself. In comparison to many three years old I know, he doesn't watch nearly as much TV as his peers. Cole gets more one on one attention from me most days than I have energy for (hence many times I collapse into bed when he does); we have picnics (real and imaginative), we play trucks, we race cars, we color, we go to the playground, we walk Tucker in the woods, we get messy in the sandbox, we go to the library every Tuesday, we "do" lunch out together on Fridays...our days are relatively unstructured in a sense so that he can just be a boy experiencing his world at his pace...we have playdates and run errands and did a lot of music/art/gymboree type classes when he was younger but as he has gotten older, I want him to use his imagination and explore what is right under his nose.

That said, I really shouldn't feel the shame that I do when he does watch TV. We only allow him to view commercial free Noggin (now Nick Jr.) or PBS Kids or select DVDs. He can count to ten in Spanish (c/o of Dora the Explorer), he can say Hello, Sun and Goodbye in Chinese (thanks to Ni How Kai Lan), he dances and bops (with the Yo Gabba Gabba crew), he loves to see Max get himself into a pickle on Max & Ruby and he has most importantly learned the concept of teamwork from the Wonder Pets. He knew their jingle as early back as I can remember but the past several months has used the term or its likeness in context repeatedly.

I try to include him as best I can when I do tasks since he loves to say "I'm a good helper" after assisting me. He helps me clean, bake, sweep outside, make the beds...he loves to just feel the need to be a part of it all. I adore that about him. So eager and willing and upbeat about what would typically be to me just a mundane task. On the occasion where he cannot participate with me, his face falls and he mutters "but I want to be a team". It is so difficult to explain to him the complexities of life and how some things need to be accomplished solo. I know disappointment is just as much a learning tool as success but nonetheless his enthusiastic approach to teamwork is certainly something to foster.

I know the day will come (and probably before I will ever be ready) where he won't want to hang out and play with me as it will be uncool. I'll have to beg him to help me with anything domestic in nature and he'll make it known that I should be invisible. That is what happens as they learn about their independence. I hope he always wants me around but reality is what it is. Anyway, I digress...

For now and as long as he subscribes to his "we are a team" mentality, I will cheer him on and give him as many opportunities as I can to make him feel like Winnie, Tuck or Ming Ming...a very vital part of our TEAM!

Stubborn as a Mule ( like his Mom)...

Cole has been bribed, coaxed, wooed, cajoled, lured, and urged amongst other things in a vain attempt to become potty trained. Unfortunately he has my stubborn streak and hence, despite trains, candy, stickers and race cars beckoning him from the bathroom shelf he has zero, nada, zilch, diddly squat interest in breaking free of diapers/PullUps.

He gets physically distressed if you try to leave them off...he refuses to wear big boy underwear unless it is over a diaper/PullUp and though he freely lets the stream flow in the bathtub, he exhibits extreme anxiety when we try to nudge him to use the toilet. Every few months since he was about two years old, I tackled the venture of potty training for a few days at a time but I also know that it is one of the major milestones that I cannot dictate to him and when he pushes back vehemently I know to back off. He has to want to do it comfortably for it to be a success. It has been probably the most frustrating thing about being a parent (with the exception of four months of colic) that I have experienced with him. I am tired of keeping diapers/Pullups and wipes stocked. I fear since he is so tall for his age that soon the largest size of those won't fit him anymore. I am tired of carrying around a changing pad. I am done with stinky trash.

I have been incredibly lucky that his preschool is of the mindset that kids master the potty at different rates and even his teacher acknowledges with a laugh that "Cole does NOT want to use the potty, he makes that quite clear every hour we make him try"!

I know he will eventually ditch the last vestige of his baby/toddler days and it is his way of telling us he isn't ready to become a full fledged little boy and who can really blame him?