TIME OUT

I know Dave had seriously been considering and researching purchasing a boat over a year ago; it was on our life white board for years now (those who know us know what this is) and residing in the land of 10,000 lakes, the water just beckoned. Living in Minnesota we have come to realize how precious our warm weather months are and our dream of owning a boat just became stronger and stronger. Hence, after much budgeting and tinkering with the concept, Dave found our perfect boat, albeit in the month of January and in of all places Alabama. So off he went between snowstorms to drive the 20 hours each way to tow our 21 foot Tahoe back to its new home. We had fun at the boat show in late January envisioning ourselves on OUR boat puttering around but never could have imagined how much fun our summer was going to be.

Now here in late July after finally unofficially naming her TIME OUT, I've taken some time to reflect how this boat has brought us such joy in just a few short weeks.

We had her out on the 42 degree water on Easter since it was a beautiful blue sky morning and we so craved our inaugural ride. Since then we have taken every opportunity to be out on her. We have gone camping "up north" and brought her along to explore Leech Lake, we have explored the many coves of Lake Minnetonka, we have boated to lunch and dinner, we have floated for hours on rafts and we have beached her on tiny islands. We have also learned a thing or too about getting her in/out of the water since the expense of a slip is prohibitive; we have mastered (on most days) the timing of when the public access docks are best to load/unload her and I can now say that I am comfortable with driving her in peak traffic and putting her on/taking her off the trailer with people watching (I was a mess doing this the first few times as a boat does NOT drive like a car especially under windy conditions).

Most of all, I love that being out on the boat has given us ample time to just be a family experiencing these new adventures together! Cole has gone from being a hesitant and clingy swimmer to gleefully motoring about without either of us in the water with him; to witness his confidence increase tenfold has me singing praises about our boat time. Tucker just wants to be with his pack so he is content basking in the sun then retreating to the cool shade under the Bimidi top and taking the occasional dip (we just got a skamper ramp which should make it easier for him to get in/out of the water).

Seeing Dave relax after a crazy week in the ad world as we cruise across the bay makes TIME OUT worth every unexpected penny she has cost us, LOL! And to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as we buzz about the water puts me in my happy place every time.

Life does have a way of bogging us all down and sometimes saps us of our energy. Taking the boat out reinvigorates us and gives us purposeful time to take a step away from the chaos, a much needed TIME OUT!

Will I ever be ready for these conversations?

One night before bed, Cole was in a quieter mood than usual. Typically bedtime is full of laughter and manic behavior as he attempts to wind down from his day. Corralling him into his room takes a bit of maneuvering but once he gets under the covers and we begin reading, his body takes the hint and he settles down. This particular evening, Dave was traveling so I made the assumption that Cole was melancholy about his daddy's absence. I normally let him communicate that rather than prodding him when he isn't ready or willing. So I was startled when the real reason for his mood was revealed.

"Mom, I'm sad about something", he began. I replied "hey buddy what is making you feel this way?". He paused and look a bit apprehensive as if he was struggling with explaining what he felt. I didn't want to push so I just waited as he collected his thoughts "Mom, what do I do if no one wants to play with me?", he softly said. My initial internal reaction was an immediate ache in my heart. I wanted him to share more so I asked "did something happen at school today?". He nodded with tears glistening in his eyes and proceeded to tell me that "X said that he didn't like me today and didn't want to race cars down the hill. Then X said he didn't want to play in the fort and then X pushed me on the slide." Following this description he let out a defeated sigh. My momma bear instincts wanted to irrationally say how all of those interactions weren't very nice but my brain overode that with a reality check. So I tried my best to acknowledge how he was feeling and let him know that it was okay to feel sad about it; that sometimes friends need space or want to do something different than what we want to do and we can feel disappointed but need to go find someone else that wants to join us or try and ask them again in a little while.

Cole quietly listened as I tried to make sense of today's events for him. He looked me in the eyes as I finished and said "thanks mom, I just want to be friends with everyone". I nodded with tears filling my eyes. I kissed the top of his head and hugged him even closer. I walked out of his room with the painful realization that there would be many more of these conversations as the innocence of his past few years is fading fast and is being replaced with an increasingly acute awareness that life can be a not so nice place sometimes.

Observations by Cole...

Cole is as bright and precocious as ever which can be both entertaining and exacerbating but in either case showcases his wit and wisdom which is darn right impressive. Here is the latest and greatest that I've managed to remember to jot down.

Cole and Dave have been unsuccessful this summer with their fishing. Angling is supposed to a calm activity however with a 4 1/2 year casting in a frenzy constantly tangling his line or throwing his hook into boat cushions and the like, fishing has pushed Dave's patience on occasion. After the umpteenth time one afternoon when Cole mangled his line, Dave's voice thundered. It only stopped Cole for a brief moment wherein he then retorted "Dad, your freaking out" followed by a laugh and his infamous impish grin tossed Dave's way. He knew exactly how to crack his daddy's frustration and bring the situation around to a positive again.

I tell Cole often how darn cute he is because simply he is. He normally says "I know" or "thanks, Mom" but one random afternoon after I picked him up from school without me saying anything with regards to his cuteness, he goes "Mom, I'm not cute anymore, I'm cool". The "cool" part was said in a drawn out way. I said "Oh really, well you can be cute AND cool". He replies "No mom, you can't, cute isn't cool". I nervously laughed with the sinking realization that he is losing his naivete. Oh my...

Being an only child has its advantages and disadvantages. He doesn't have to share his time with Dave and I with any other kids but he does have to play independently alone more often than most of his friends. Many times when he wants to race cars, build towers or play pretend we make the time since it is so fleeting and soon he'll not want to play with us anymore. However, the reality is that we cannot always play with him when he wants us too. So taking his innate "sales" ability to a whole other level, he recently says to me when I tell him "no, mommy can't kick the soccer ball around, she needs to feed Tucker and prep dinner", Cole responds "okay, so here's the deal, how bout we kick it 10 times, then you go make me dinner because I'm hungry". So I go "Hmmm, where exactly is the "deal" for me in that? Isn't a deal an agreement by parties that is mutually beneficial?" Cole looks at me blankly since I do tend to use adult logic with him and goes "what did you say, was that a yes?" All I could do was laugh out loud, go kick the soccer ball ten times and make dinner. Some things are just worth giving in too!

One smart cookie...

Cole has always been quite a precocious kiddo with outstanding conversational skills and a vocabulary (and proper use of it) well beyond his years but sometimes I catch myself momentarily stunned when he says something (either during his grand imaginary play or to me directly) and I realize that it isn't the typical musing of a 4 1/2 year old. Once my brain kicks me back a "WOW", I find myself smiling with pride; sometimes Cole catches my expression; he then throws me his impish grin as if to say "I know what you are thinking mom; yep, I'm one smart cookie". And that simply makes him even more impressive...