Christmas 2012 Road Trip...

We decided to make the 1300 mile road trip to PA to spend the holidays with my family knowing that long trips would be put on hiatus until further notice with Bebe D on his/her way. So the week before our departure, Cole got to open one gift each evening from us or from Dave's family since we weren't about to lug everything in the truck with us. Relatively early (it was still dark) on December 22 we began our trek east. A huge snowstorm had just swung south of the Twin Cities and dumped on Madison, WI but the highways were clear as we passed through (the side roads we took to lunch were another story). It was a long day but we hit our destination outside Cleveland, OH about 13 hours after we left home. Tired and a wee crabby we all slept well before getting up and finishing the drive on Sunday. We got to my parents house around 3pm, ahead of schedule. :-)

Of course the holiday fairy had descended on my parent's house and it was decorated to the nines. Cole and Gigi counted her vast collection of Santa figures of all shapes and sizes (98!!) Dad had set-up his traditional two Christmas trees (one was in their living room and in honor of my Nana), the other one which was the size of a small shed (10 feet easily and just as round) was set up taking over the entire south corner of their sunroom. Santa hadn't even come yet and the packages were piled and stacked high. Christmas has always been an event in the Scull family. :-)

Cole helped put candy canes on the tree and bring even more gifts downstairs that my mom had stashed in the guest room. My sister and two nieces came over for Christmas Eve dinner just as the snow began to fall. We took a walk around my parent's neighborhood afterwards as all the houses put out candle luminaries. With the snow coming down and the streets lined with candlelight, it was a big magical. Off to bed for Cole with a last check on the Santa app to see where he was delivering in the world. Cole had a hard time falling asleep with his mind and body electric with excitement. We thought he was finally out, only to have his feet pitter patter down the stairs as Mom stuffed stockings, eekkk. Luckily, Pop Pop intercepted the sleepy boy just as he turned into my parent's kitchen and back upstairs I went to lay with him until his breathing told me he was truly OUT! Whew, close call!

Christmas morning dawned early (did we think that Cole would sleep in??? LOL) and he eagerly raced downstairs as I chased him with the camera attempting to capture his face as he witnessed that Santa had come! Everyone else was moving more slowly especially poor Dave who stayed up to put together a LEGO Ninjago set that took almost three hours to complete. An emptying of stockings and then a move to the sunroom where Santa had left more loot. My sister and kids were due to come over later that morning after experiencing their Santa gifts at home. We all took turns opening gift after generous gift. The sun finally rose and slowly we made our way through the piles. :-)


Cole was a happy camper with all his new stuff (and insistent on pulling everything out all at once to fill with batteries or piece together). Dad and Mom made breakfast and I attempted to clean up the aftermath of boxes and wrapping paper. Trish and the girls came over mid-morning and more unwrapping ensued. The kids played all afternoon while the adults recovered. A delicious dinner of Dad's famous rolled rib-roast was had and we all went to bed early, exhausted but happy.

We kicked around the next day, went for a walk in Tyler Park and helped Mom get ready for friends that were coming for dinner. Another storm was pending, this one a rain/mix event, by afternoon, the skies were angry and the rain pelted the windows. It was warm and cozy inside though with great conversation and eats with our guests. Thursday was another awful rainy day and not everyone was feeling great so we laid low and enjoyed the downtime. Dave packed up the truck as we would be leaving early Friday for our ride back to MN.

We pulled out of the driveway around 7am and began the drive west. Pennsylvania is a big state and I agreed with Cole when he kept asking if we were out of PA yet and we said "NO" and he sighed. Finally crossing into Ohio, we got a second wind. We ended up in South Bend, IN for the evening where the snow was falling. We considered driving straight thru but decided against it, it was just too much driving at night on dicey roads with me almost 5 months pregnant. We got up and going on Saturday (my 41st birthday), sailed through Chicago and ticked off the miles until we began to see signs for St. Paul. It was wonderful to get home, despite the frigid cold and snow that greeted us. We unloaded (and I put everything away as I just cannot relax until I do). We would be celebrating my birthday on Sunday instead so we all crashed early, grateful for a wonderful trip, generous family and a fun Christmas!

There are no words..

I'm not sure I can adequately express the utter shock and grief I have felt this past week over the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary. I was out running errands the afternoon of December 14, 2012, only to hear on the radio as I pulled into the garage a preliminary news report. I ran into the house and to my computer as I just couldn't process what I had heard. What I read confirmed the worst and yet my brain didn't want to accept such a horrid and tragic event. I phoned Dave and could barely get out an audible message between my uncontrollable sobs. Here I knew no one that had been affected and yet, I found myself grappling with the physical urge to vomit as the numbers of those killed continued to climb.

As the afternoon unfolded, I wanted to run to Cole's school and scoop him up, it was an almost primitive pull and yet the logical side of my brain was finally kicking in and overriding my every instinct telling me Cole was fine and safe and blissfully unaware of the evil that had presided over his peers in Connecticut that morning. The knot in my throat and the tightness in my chest as the past week's news has been dosing us 24/7 about what occurred has not lessened. The faces of those children, their teachers, their principal and their loved ones haunt me. I cannot wrap my head around anymore senseless of an act than taking the lives of so many innocent 1st graders and those in charge of taking care of them during their school day. The fact that Cole is so close in age to them has kept me up at night pondering that we send him off for a day of school, and may never see him alive again. It is just inconceivable and yet it has happened to 20 sets of parents. I am unable to even consider what life would be like without Cole, his smile, his goofy antics, his quirky eating habits, his lilting voice, his hugs...................................................................it is too much so I embrace and recognize that there may not be a tomorrow. It troubles me that it takes tragedy to uproot our stakes in the ground to adopt a more "live in the present" mindset and yet, I find myself doing just that with the hopes that those little angels with their new-found wings have all taught us a lesson about the importance of living/loving EVERY DAY.

My rascal turns six...

As I planned for Cole's sixth birthday this year, it really struck me, how quickly the years are passing. It sounds so cliche but the fact of the matter is that time has literally been on a faster pace than I ever remember. I find myself watching Cole as he continues to digest the world around him and figure out his place in it. He loves to learn, ask questions, and constantly inquires about things he hears or sees. I love that he shares with me what he does during his school day. I treasure our late afternoons as I know soon enough, he will be dropping off his backpack and running out the door to ice skate or sled with his buddies or with the spring thaw, out throwing a football/baseball with his friends rather than with his mom.

Cole wanted to have his birthday party at the SEALIFE aquarium this year. We had visited several times since they renovated and re-opened. I have to be honest that I was skeptical that an aquarium located in Minneapolis far from salt water would be anything to impress. I was wrong. It isn't huge and doesn't have seals, otters or whales but what they have done with the space they have is pretty darn cool. They have the touch-me and the seahorse/jelly fish exhibits but it is the glass surround walk-way that ups the wow factor. It is shaped like a tunnel with glass overhead and on the sides. The sharks, rays, sea turtles and massive and tiny fish swim and glide inches from you. To see their underbellies as they cruise over your head makes you go "look at that" every few seconds..

SEALIFE's birthday package included a private party room (deep down in the bowels of the aquarium, you felt like you were on a ship), make-your-own shark tooth necklace, a behind-the-scenes tour and full access to the aquarium itself. So Cole and 8 of his friends got to see (and smell) the off-exhibit area where new or sick sea animals were brought and treated. They got to see what they eat (yuck!) and got to walk above the tanks where the animals swum about as the public walked through the tunnels below. It was a fun afternoon for this birthday boy!

New status pending...

So the news is out...after several years of hoping and wishing, we will be adding to our family! The losses we have experienced have kept this joyful secret under wraps since late September until we were sure that Bebe D was growing and progressing. Our 12 week ultrasound was proof that we had gotten through our first trimester without issues (just a lot of monitoring) and we could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

I had been walking on eggshells these past weeks, wanting to be excited and yet attempting to keep my emotional state in check just in case. It is still hard to quite accept that another lil one will be joining our household come spring but I'm slowly coming around to it and thus, we thought it was time to share the news with Cole plus my "morning" sickness had increased and it was getting more difficult to hide that and my fatigue.

So with ultrasound pictures in hand, we told Cole we had something to tell him. His cautious nature had him glancing at us in concern. We told him that I had a baby growing in my tummy and that he was going to become a big brother. His eyes got big and he jumped up and down and said "there is a baby in your tummy right now?". I answered yes and showed him the photos, pointing to what was what as he wondered aloud "where are its eyes?". He then began to ask a whole bunch of questions, "when would it get here?", "was it a boy or a girl?", "would I have to go to the hospital to have it? to name just a few. We replied as honestly as we could. He wasn't happy to hear it would take until late spring to arrive "I'll be in first grade by then!", we laughed as we told him that no, he would still be in kindergarten. He reached out and put his hand on my belly, gave me a hug and said "I am so excited!". Tears welled up in my eyes at his gesture. With that, he jumped off the couch and went back to racing around like he had been before we stopped him to share the news. Dave and I know that he will be an involved and terrific big brother!