Cole may run me ragged most days as he darts and dashes away beyond my comfortable distance--away from me at the playground, away from me at playgroup in the park, away from me during music class, away from me as I attempt to change his diaper--just insert location and repeat the verb. He looks over his shoulder as he runs from me with that impish grin that says "ha, ha look at me, I can go where I want too, I am Cole"!
Much like his mother, he is bored after 10 minutes in the same venue, looking for something else to experience and explore. Much like his mother, he has to MOVE all the time. Much like his mother, he likes to be in control of his actions. And so it begins, the trials of Cole's growing independence (versus my daily quota of patience).
Oh, I have read the toddler sections in numerous books which gently and not so gently warn me about the few LONG miles up the road ahead. There are sections in the library solely about parental coping mechanisms in dealing with toddlers finding their way in their fascinating but frustrating world. You have to digest what is the best route for you and navigate accordingly. However, despite having a guide or two, I need to be able to change course and adjust, all the while remaining calm and in control to give the illusion that I know exactly where I am going.
So though I think I know where I am going most days, the unexpected detours sometimes cause me to go around and around in circles. Until I can get in the right lane again, exit and be on our way, who knew how difficult and how much sheer endurance (mental and physical) it takes to follow the directions that Dave and I have chosen to follow!?
To ignore bad behaviors as long as they are attention seeking and not dangerous. I am either on the verge of laughing as he pouts and/or throws a fit OR I am vainly attempting to relax my posture and keep my voice steady as he goes limp and shrieks on the sidewalk (as our neighbors glance our way) because he does not want to go inside.
To explain why something is inappropriate, despite knowing he is young but realizing he understands way more than I thought possible. I find myself providing contradictory information to my 18 month old as I tell him not to throw his toys but seconds later I am throwing the ball (or whatever random toy) to Tucker.
To give two options when correcting inappropriate actions (obviously only one being the desired result) which enables him to choose and makes him liable for his decision. I find myself tongue tied when in a split moment's notice I am forced to think of the secondary option.
To use time outs wisely and above all else be consistent. I can feel the heat creeping up the back of my neck as I know a time out is the right thing to do in a situation but I am at someone else's home. Thus I feel the other mother's eyes upon us as I carry my twisting back-arching son to a quiet place for his one minute time to think (seem like forever for him AND me).
I realize with time that discipline will get easier (won't it?). It just seems as if I master one phase of parenting only to learn that the bar has been raised yet again. Well, I guess that is okay, I wouldn't want to be bored, sit around all day and/or not be challenged. So Cole, just be you and I'll figure out the path as we walk (or run) it!
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