Monday, July 21, 2008

Letting Cole be Cole...

Anyone who spends any time with us knows that I have let Cole wander the road of independence since he was just a baby. He continually is reaching major motor skill milestones ahead of his textbook peers. As his mom, I hope it is in part due to the fact that I let him go and explore even though he is discovering his world at a rate way beyond MY comfort zone as a first-time parent. It would be so easy to reign in his curious streak to quell my own uneasiness and in the name of risk management however it could undermine his courage and fearlessness, traits already so tenuous at his age.

My/our ability to let Cole become aware of his own capabilities has let him acquire the confidence he utilizes in all that he embarks upon. I/we want to continue to foster that by letting him absorb life on his terms. This is not to say that his routine is without structure, boundaries, discipline and/or limitations. These fixed parameters work for us and until they don't, that is our way.

It is scary for ME to let him go at an Olympic pace at such a young age (obviously within the confines of safe activity) but so necessary and vital to his growth. He just beams when he completes something different or realizes he has mastered a new skill. He flashes me his million dollar smile with such pride in his eyes as if to say "hey mom, look at me, did you see me do that!!??" With that momentum, he races on to see what else he can conquer! It is such an awesome feeling being the mom of a toddler who is so happy with himself!

I have let him tumble at the playground and pick himself up all the while being right at his side for support; I have let him experience frustration at trying to get the wheels on his truck unstuck, ensuring he knows I am there for him as he processes his impatience; I have let him tantrum after being told we need to go inside and held out my arms for when he is ready to move on from the moment; I have made myself aware of how important it is for him to have my attention and eye contact as he seeks my recognition of whatever it is he is engaged in.

But most importantly of all, I just let Cole be Cole, as that is how it should be.

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