It would be obvious to say that I have lots to be thankful for this Thanksgiving 2008. This evening I found myself surrounded by my loving husband, some new fabulous friends, their son and my little light Cole. It certainly should not take a holiday for one to take pause and reflect on all that is good in one's life but it was a reminder nonetheless to do exactly that.
I truly appreciate my wonderful reality, continuing to learn and grow as a parent this past year brings into perspective what I am grateful for in a more authentic way more and more.
I acknowledge how lucky I am to walk this maze of motherhood and I cannot express my gratitude enough that I have been given this path to travel. It is my hope to not let another year go by without respecting more often all that I have been blessed with.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
What it's all about...
I began this BLOG just over a year ago. Initially, I wanted to attempt to keep my love of writing alive despite feeling that many of my brain cells had been hijacked since becoming a mother. I desired to create a personal goal for myself beyond my duties as a new parent. Being a stay at home mom, I report to no one (though I think my 2 year old now thinks he is in charge) and though I thought I wouldn't miss the critique of colleagues surprisingly I do. Aside from a paycheck, working kept my mind acute and with motivation to continue to grow. Now I am my own boss running the show, something that has been much more difficult than I ever imagined.
I thought it would be ambitious for me to produce a weekly post (it was and is) despite having tons of material. What I have found over the past 13 months of posting to my BLOG is that I do LOVE to write but that finding time amidst the chaos of a week has been challenging. Ideas for posts come to me as Cole continues to teach me about so many things and the words flow easily in my head as I watch him experience his world. However quite often while sitting down to put fingers to keyboard the words that came so readily just days or hours before seem to dissolve into thin air much like a dream that seems so vivid you know you'll remember it and yet seconds later it is gone from memory.
Being at home with Cole means an unpredictable schedule, thus TRUE free time is fleeting. I have so many "holes" in the day where I have to grab snippets of an hour when Cole is occupied and engaged in playing to do anything productive. Thus, I find myself yearning desperately for an uninterrupted stretch to just THINK.
The whole 60-75 minutes that Cole naps seems to vanish before I have even had the time to eat lunch. I am constantly in a state of "rush", vainly seeking to fully complete several tasks in a short span of time. The normal outcome is that several things get partially started/finished. My day is piece mealed (I don't think that is even a verb but I am using it) together like a patchwork quilt. I have had to readjust my own expectations of what a productive day is as how things were measured in my past are now no longer measured by the same standards.
Yes, my life is different now, responsibilities, priorities and even successes have been redefined by becoming a parent. I can feel selfish for a time wondering where and when I'll get more than a few hours reprieve but then I remark on how lucky I am to be a mom at all and my self pity dissipates. I take a breath (or two or three) and look back on my day, declaring how successful it truly has been. Here are just a few of today's triumphs.
Listening to Cole make animal sounds as he recognizes their pictures in the book; watching in awe as he lines up all his cars face forward, with all the red ones together;laughing as he excitedly says "I did it" as he puts his hat on sideways; gazing in wonder as he gazes in wonder at the snowflakes falling.
I thought it would be ambitious for me to produce a weekly post (it was and is) despite having tons of material. What I have found over the past 13 months of posting to my BLOG is that I do LOVE to write but that finding time amidst the chaos of a week has been challenging. Ideas for posts come to me as Cole continues to teach me about so many things and the words flow easily in my head as I watch him experience his world. However quite often while sitting down to put fingers to keyboard the words that came so readily just days or hours before seem to dissolve into thin air much like a dream that seems so vivid you know you'll remember it and yet seconds later it is gone from memory.
Being at home with Cole means an unpredictable schedule, thus TRUE free time is fleeting. I have so many "holes" in the day where I have to grab snippets of an hour when Cole is occupied and engaged in playing to do anything productive. Thus, I find myself yearning desperately for an uninterrupted stretch to just THINK.
The whole 60-75 minutes that Cole naps seems to vanish before I have even had the time to eat lunch. I am constantly in a state of "rush", vainly seeking to fully complete several tasks in a short span of time. The normal outcome is that several things get partially started/finished. My day is piece mealed (I don't think that is even a verb but I am using it) together like a patchwork quilt. I have had to readjust my own expectations of what a productive day is as how things were measured in my past are now no longer measured by the same standards.
Yes, my life is different now, responsibilities, priorities and even successes have been redefined by becoming a parent. I can feel selfish for a time wondering where and when I'll get more than a few hours reprieve but then I remark on how lucky I am to be a mom at all and my self pity dissipates. I take a breath (or two or three) and look back on my day, declaring how successful it truly has been. Here are just a few of today's triumphs.
Listening to Cole make animal sounds as he recognizes their pictures in the book; watching in awe as he lines up all his cars face forward, with all the red ones together;laughing as he excitedly says "I did it" as he puts his hat on sideways; gazing in wonder as he gazes in wonder at the snowflakes falling.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
History has been made...
The energy in the air is palpable, running ordinary errands this morning I felt different, energized and positive. No matter how you voted yesterday, a historic event of monumental significance took place last evening and everyone is affected no matter what your party lines may be. Change is needed and necessary on numerous fronts and I can only hope that half of the things promised during the pre-election process will be implemented. I would be estactic for policy changes and reform on many levels.
This was the first election that I voted in as a parent. Since Cole's entry into our lives, the things that were important to me in elections past still remain, however, I carried a stronger perspective into how this election would begin to shape my son's future. The responsibility I felt to really educate myself about the candidate's platforms was real and I took to the task with fervor. Being a parent has taught me to look beyond my particular desires or needs and remember to look ahead to what changes to our government and its administration could mean for Cole and his peers.
I realized that those individuals in a position of leadership and power are on a grand scale creating the framework for my child's ultimate destiny. That both scares me beyond comprehension and yet thrills me that we have so much potential. We move forward post-election as a country with many obstacles to overcome and a long road to recovery with many expected (and I'm sure unexpected) detours ahead.
As a mother, I have to hope that we can look at the overwhelming list of tasks ahead of us as Americans and remember that each one influences the now little lives of our future.
This was the first election that I voted in as a parent. Since Cole's entry into our lives, the things that were important to me in elections past still remain, however, I carried a stronger perspective into how this election would begin to shape my son's future. The responsibility I felt to really educate myself about the candidate's platforms was real and I took to the task with fervor. Being a parent has taught me to look beyond my particular desires or needs and remember to look ahead to what changes to our government and its administration could mean for Cole and his peers.
I realized that those individuals in a position of leadership and power are on a grand scale creating the framework for my child's ultimate destiny. That both scares me beyond comprehension and yet thrills me that we have so much potential. We move forward post-election as a country with many obstacles to overcome and a long road to recovery with many expected (and I'm sure unexpected) detours ahead.
As a mother, I have to hope that we can look at the overwhelming list of tasks ahead of us as Americans and remember that each one influences the now little lives of our future.
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