"Life's greatest gift is the complicated, maddening, rewarding and delicious involvement we have with those we dearly love"--Susan Cheever in "As Good As I Could Be"
As I rush around in the days before our road trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas I keep thinking back to the above quote. It is such a true statement that experiencing the intense relationships of our lives is the supreme gift that we should all be grateful for.
Raising Cole has reminded me to appreciate a person for they are. He is his own little person full of independence, drive and desire. When I get frustrated with his behavior, I have to remember that he is finding out about himself every day of every waking hour. I have to sometimes step back and respect that gigantic undertaking more than I do.
Our jobs as parents is not to tell them how to behave but to guide them and show them how to interact with themselves, others and the environment. Taking an extra moment to accept who they are becoming, helping them to process their emotions and forge ahead is vital to their future self awareness. It is so easy to wish the tantrum away, beg for them to act differently or get angry at their seemingly defiant ways but normally these acute reactions can be diffused with a quiet place, an offered hug or an acknowledgment that validates their confusion/frustration/resentment. The exact treatment we as adults request when having a tough go of it.
Cole is Cole and I would never want to be a part of making him be somebody other than himself!
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