The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree....

I am almost a week into a new year with my resolutions, lists of To-Do's, wishes, projects & a desire to find part time work while Cole is at Montessori school three days a week. The new year has also brought us into the throes of what I'm calling the BATTLE of the WILLS.

Cole turned two about a month ago and thus crossed the threshold into the age of self awareness. That stated, this means he is now in what the experts define as a period of "The Intentional Self". To me as a parent it should be more aptly titled "The Discerning, Determined, Wilful Disposition" and that is being mild (and kind) with an attempt at remaining within the confines of child development lingo.

Cole has from a very young age been an independent little guy. He crawled, walked and even lost his baby looks way before his peers. His focus, drive and sheer fortitude were words I used to describe him before his first birthday. He has continually amazed us at his limitless ability to soak up knowledge and spit it back out with a proud smile as he completes whatever task he has put forth in front of himself. He has shown an aptitude for tinkering with his toys, pulling parts off only to figure out how they go back together, babbling away to us in toddlerspeak as if to say "ha, look at that, it comes off but goes back on, cool"!

The above scenario is the fun aspect of watching him grow into a realization of his own competencies. The more challenging script plays out daily as he also understands that he can make what should be simple tasks a game, that he has a role now in determining the outcome of diaper changes, eating, getting dressed, and napping/sleeping (which for any of you who know what our past two years have been like with this facet of our day just means a continued journey of obstacles).

His new conscious appreciation of himself and how he as himself functions in this life is vital to his future self worth but at this tender age, we as his parents walk a tenuous line of providing guidance and balance against his powerful behavior.

Old school philosophy (aka our parents generation) believed in what was then the traditional approach of discipline, step out of line and you knew it with a raised voice and a swat (or two). Today's conundrum is how to handle obstinate behavior in order to make your child's choice part of the resolution teaching them they do have a voice but also allowing YOU as the parent to remain in charge (or maintain some semblance of authority).

HA...okay...I haven't figured this element of parenting out yet because my son's sweet face continues to taunt me as I try to keep a steady voice after three time outs for throwing his toys or as I try to slow my beating heart as he deliberately looks me in the eye and with Houdiniesque moves gets the grocery cart belt off and stands up again and again as I rush grabbing things off the shelves with one hand as I hold him in place with the other trying not to show that I'm sweating. Nap time takes the better part of an hour (and that doesn't include the sleeping) and the bedtime "ritual" exhausts us both as he flips, dives, jumps, jabbers, kicks, and on and on and on some nights. If we can just get him drowsy, we know we are in the homestretch but to get to the point requires an abundance of patience which at the end of long day is typically in depleted inventory.

I guess, just like with the previous chapters of motherhood I have mastered (or at least garnered more than rookie status at) I will have to persevere and find my way through the maze of this current phase. Over the course of my 37 years, I have been described as stubborn more times than I care to mention and I don't like to lose at anything either despite the fact that I have mellowed in other areas of my life. This makes for an interesting relationship with my son who obviously has replicated some of my DNA in his emerging self. The apple doesn't fall from the tree indeed.