Since the night Cole was born, I have sung to him...I have never ever had a very good voice, but for the past 2.5 years, my significantly off-key style suited my little guy just fine. It was the ONLY thing that calmed him during 4 months of colic, restless nursing sessions, during emotional meltdowns, at bedtime as he turned and tossed to settle down, through sicknesses, while in the hospital, and in the recovery room after his surgery. My belting a tune also made him smile during happier everyday occasions like while running errands, driving to and from school, or puttering around the house...I have 80 or so songs on my IPOD that are varying versions of children's classics, ones I know every verse to and that have more playtime than my workout mixes (LOL).
The fact that my inner songstress made my kiddo feel good did wonders for my motherly ego especially when none of my other maternal tools would work. It was a blast when he began singing with me as we belted out DOWN BY THE STATION together.
However, recently Cole has issued me a cease and desist order...anytime I begin singing now, he firmly says, "No Mommy, no singing, Stop...". If I defy his request, he vehemently covers his ears and begins repeating "stop it, stop singing" and runs from the room (if he can).
Another phase, one I cherished for the past 1035 days or so has been shelved. In my life pre-Cole I was extremely reticent about singing in public even in college after imbibing too much and I have never been talked into joining a group at a party when the karaoke machine came out as I knew then I'd never be in tune but motherhood gave me bravado and an opportunity to see if the sound of my voice (out of tune or not) could provide a state of calm for my little guy. Obviously I have not improved my abilities over the course of his life and he is able to now tell me so...This mothering thing is hard on one's ego...I can't wait until he points out the "lines" around my eyes...
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