Before becoming a mom, I had quite a sailor's vocabulary (aka potty mouth). Once Cole began talking, I knew I had to learn to filter what I said and/or come up with some creative exclamations to replace the naughty four letter expletives. It took some time trying out various phrases to find something relatively innocuous as well as a statement that allowed me to actually still vent. I used "SHAZAM" for awhile but that didn't pack the punch necessary when some "silly" person cut me off in traffic. I mumbled under my breath for a time but again, that didn't alleviate my need for spouting something out loud plus my grumbling could still be heard occasionally from the backseat.
Somewhere along the line I switched to using "OY VEY" when I was annoyed and "ARE YOU SERIOUS" when I was quite irked. Those seem to carry the necessary outlet I was looking for. Thankfully, those substitutes have been in use for over a year. Unfortunately, Cole began using both in context recently, stating "ARE YOU SERIOUS" when I asked him to put his toys away,having to repeat myself with the threat of a time out. I almost burst out laughing but have learned to table any expression on my face when he is in hot water as he closely observes for even the slightest weakness in my armor. "OY VEY" escaped from his lips the other morning as I was hustling him to get dressed, vexed as he wiggled his frame making it impossible to put his socks and shoes on. I let out a sigh and he immediately fired back "OY VEY". He disarmed me but I remained stoic parroting back to him "OY VEY is right...do you know that you are making things difficult for mommy"? He smiled back at me, stopped moving around like a fish out of water, and said he was sorry. I thanked him, kissed his nose, finished getting him dressed and picked him up and twirled him around. That is how conflict should be fleeting and forgotten but OY VEY that those moments have to happen at all.
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