My little observer...

Driving back from school one day last week, we were on Rt. 394 and the winds were howling. The low pressure storm that had sat on us for two days had brought down tree branches and made the house shake. I had both hands on the steering wheel trying to keep the Volvo from being blown into the other lanes. The gusts could quite literally do that as I watched other cars less prepared sway in and out like they were being driven by drunk drivers.

Cole and I got off the highway headed towards home and a plastic bag swirled up out of nowhere and came directly at the car. It bounced off the Volvo's hood and danced away as if twirling to a symphony. From the back seat I heard Cole pipe up and say matter of factly "well, that's not something you see everyday". As I cracked up at his adult-like observation, he looked at me as I smiled at him in the rear-view mirror and in all seriousness said "well, you don't".

My little "fix-it" man...

Super-Glue, scotch tape, a dedicated drawer of batteries, doll-house sized tools and some engineering mom magic have saved many of Cole's toys from landing in the trash. I make a diligent attempt at salvaging whatever truck/car/engine/digger has malfunctioned, lost a part, stopped turning or whirling or is just dying a slow death due to its much-loved status. I swear that the quality control they use for testing the 3-5 year old BOY range of toys doesn't come close to reality. How many stairs do they drop them down? Do they truly put them through front end "crashes"? Are they stepped on repetitively? Is every part that moves twisted and turned a billion times?

Typically he is my captive audience as I mumble and moan inwardly (or not so inwardly) trying to either jury rig a fix, remove a screw the size of a pin head or prevent Super-Glu from touching anything other than the intended target (I'm successful 6/10 times on that since the parts are so tiny that the pliers slip 6/10 times).

Cole peppers me with questions (as I continue to try to keep my potty mouth from actually escaping my lips) and I do my best to describe what I am doing and why since he is so curious about EVERYTHING. Sometimes I can give the toy back after it has been through the "mom shop" but other times I have to prop it up to dry or set. Cole looks longingly at it and asks every minute "is it ready yet?"

Cole is as careful as a four year old boy can be expected to be with his things but unfortunately he is learning that sometimes things cannot be repaired, that his mom will give a valiant effort but in the end, sometimes we have to just simply say good-bye and adopt the next item with wheels from the playbin. Luckily, though he does have allegiance to a handful of toys, he is still young enough that he gets over his grief quickly.

So the other day, I hear him tinkering around downstairs while I am prepping dinner. As most moms can relate to, the normal sounds of play are what we unconsciously "listen" for. No matter how involved we may be in whatever activity we are engaged in, if it gets too quiet or the "sounds" are unfamiliar, an immediate investigation is required.

It had gotten eerily quiet and when I called down to him, he didn't answer BUT I could hear him moving around. I dropped the onion I was chopping and grabbed the kitchen towel, ran down the stairs and found Cole near my desk with a truck in his hand whose bumper had come off. He gave me a sheepish smile until I started laughing uncontrollably whereas a huge grin erupted on his cute mug. He had taken the scotch tape from my office and torn off about 25 itty bitty pieces and plastered the bumper back on. He held it out to me and said "look mom, I fixed it"!! The bumper was still hanging off precariously but he was all proud of himself for taking the initiative. I was so proud of him for doing the same that I felt tears well up in my eyes.

143 Posts...

It has been three years this month that I began writing pieces for this blog, THREE YEARS...holy toledo, that is 36 months of capturing in words my role as a first time mom and approximately 1080 days of content for sharing snippets of our lives as Cole experienced the world around him and we came along for the ride.

My original posts tended to lean heavy on what becoming a mom meant to my identity, as it seemed in a flash I was no longer who I had been before December 6, 2006. My name was the same, my face was the same but internally I felt like a stranger in my own skin. In those early years, Cole's presence I felt right down to my bones, literally and figuratively. I will never forget those initial months when his colic ruled my every waking hour. It was the most all encompassing period that my heart, mind and soul had ever been forced to reckon with. There was so much change to so many aspects of my life that I was both overwhelmed and overjoyed and trying to find a happy medium. The roller coaster of emotions in that first year or two was truly life altering and though I knew as I held Cole in my arms the night of his delivery that I would never be the same, I could have never have been less prepared for what was ahead of me. Parenthood shapes you without a doubt, some days like a bat whacking you over the head, while other days it comes at you gently like falling rain.


The intensity of parenthood is constantly changing, its dynamics insisting on shifting when you least anticipate it and for someone like me who previously liked life to be in neat bundles, scheduled and expected, becoming a mom has been a lesson about living in the present and reveling in the moment(s)because I already find myself pondering "where have the past four years gone"?

Life is much easier these days and my blog posts now are more about the quirky, witty, smart and funny "stuff" that Cole entertains us with. He is a comedian, a scientist, a bookworm, a picky eater, a giggler, a snuggler and very much a BOY! I'm so lucky and grateful everyday for having him grace our lives.

He can do so many things without me now and though a relief in large part, a sadness envelopes me at times when I think of things he no longer needs me for. The push and pull of his growth and development is a constant reminder that Cole is forging his way in this crazy world and finding the ways in which he can best navigate life's maze. Thankfully, for now, he does still need my guiding hand.

So I look forward to the next 143 posts as a raise my rascal one day at a time...

OBX Moments 2010

We had a grand two weeks in one of our favorite destinations...here is a little video of all the moments I was able to capture...