How can he be FOUR?

Each year I find myself incredulous that Cole is another year older (with an entirely different frame of mind than say when I turn another year older).

His birthday this year seem to sneak up on me. BAM, it was early November and I was in need of planning out his birthday party. On first contemplation I thought a NASCAR theme was going to be the central decor for the cake/paper supplies/balloons only to quickly change gears when he and Dave attended the MONSTER TRUCK Jam and Cole's world became seriously about these crazy trucks with huge wheels and even crazier names.

Every year when I begin this process, I also begin a period of reflection where I look at the past year's photographs of Cole, read through my blog posts about his growth and behavior and review the stack of doodles, school papers, artwork and various clippings, ticket stubs, entry passes and such which offer snippets of the memories and adventures that we/he created/experienced. I have made it a conscious effort since becoming a mom, to bring my camera everywhere, to write each week and to put together yearly scrapbooks as life is so so precious and time is more then obviously fleeting. To have physical evidence of what has transpired and a record of sorts of where he/we were 365 days ago and where he/we are 12 months later has become a more sentimental journey for me (maybe I'm just getting emotionally mushy as approach the BIG 40)

However this year the tears have flowed more easily than ever. I realized thanks to what life had planned for me earlier this year simply how important it is to chronicle and cherish life. My mind flashbacks ever so often to offer me a reminder that I am lucky to still be here, watching my son find his way. And with that forever etched in my fabric I reveled in the celebration of his birthday this year more than before. Watching him run, jump and tumble with his friends, feeling the excited frenzy of ten 4 year olds and seeing the smile on his face as he enjoyed the special attention made my heart warm a dozen times over.

Happy 4th Birthday to my pickle! It is a privilege and blessing to be your mommy! I look forward to what your fifth year has in store for us.