A collection of Cole's recent one-liners...

Cole's witty quips continue to accumulate. I find myself laughing hysterically, sometimes inappropriately, since his delivery is truly comical. It is as if he is consciously trying to be funny by his choice of words and affectations which are not at all childish or silly. Here is the latest compilation:

As we rush to the bathroom in any one of numerous public venues, I am telling him that he shouldn't wait to the last minute. He races in, not even bothering to close the door and barely gets his pants down before his stream escapes. I (and anyone else in the restroom) hears him go "ahhhh, that is so much better!".

Cole loves to play hotel these days. It began shortly after our stay in one in San Francisco. He gets our spare keys and his little computer and likes to check you in and show you to your room. He began asking standard questions, like "would you like a room with a view?" and "how many nights will you be staying with us?". Over the weeks, he has generated quite a series of questions, so checking-in is quite the process. I asked him if he would carry my suitcase one morning and he replied "no, you can do that yourself, it isn't mine", he then turned and smiled as I frowned "well lady that is the truth!"

Walking through the woods with Tucker a few weeks ago, the trees were shedding their leaves. Cole said he didn't remember why the trees had to lose their leaves and I answered "the trees need to save their energy during the winter to stay warm so they lose their leaves so that they don't have to supply energy to them, just to their core trunk and branches and then in the spring, the leaves will grow back". He retorts "well mom, that isn't very nice that they make the leaves die so that they can sleep!"

198 Posts and counting...

It has been four years since I sat down one afternoon in October 2007 as Cole napped and began this blog. Now incredibly, 198 posts later, I find myself full of pride as I review those original entries and reflect back to a time when I was a fledgling mother. I can feel the anxiety, the excitement, the fatigue, the joy and the overwhelming fear of the unknown ooze from my words. As I continue to read, I "hear" more confidence as well as more confusion. The pride I speak of as I read through these 198 posts is more about how much I realize (much in retrospect) how I have slowly grown into my "mom" shoes. Much like breaking in a new pair of running shoes, I felt out of step and off my pace when I became Cole's mom, I was on a path never traveled and without direction; so many times I felt lost and exhausted. However, I have found my groove and rhythm as a parent as best as I can at any given moment and can forge my way comfortably now even when I don't know where I may end up.

As I read through these posts, I was surprised at how diluted and weak many of my memories were and so grateful that I have taken the time to capture them here. I do still vividly remember being constantly challenged by Cole's ability to change "the game" of parenthood and wondering when things might get easier. I finally have conceded as he approaches his fifth birthday that things don't necessarily get easier. Yes, Cole is self-sufficient in hundreds of ways now but his curiosity and queries about the world, people, his emotions and the darker side of life keeps a not so subtle continuous train of thought chugging through my conscience. It is my desire as a parent to ensure I give him enough of a response (or information) during these conversations to be truthful and honest without bestowing my own personal choices or opinions on him. I want to enable Cole to form his own impressions about the aforementioned and that is a tricky and pot-holed filled road. So no, parenthood does not get easier, it continually morphs, ensuring that I have plenty of things to write about in years to come.

Co-Captain...

As I have previously blogged, we have had a wonderful season on our boat TIME OUT. We have been beyond lucky to have had a warm and dry autumn which has allowed our boating time to continue. Cole has gotten quite comfortable "driving" the boat (obviously under our watchful eye and only in quiet bays). This video clip is from late September before he broke his collarbone.

Oh no, NO, Nooooooooooooooo

For the second year in a row, I had volunteered to coordinate Cole's Montessori school photo day. OMS had used a talented photographer in the past to take both headshots of the kiddos for the class composite (as getting 36 preschoolers and 12 toddlers in one large picture together was not even an option, LOL) as well as parents could sign up their child/ren for multiple individual photos. Other parents had taken on the task in previous years and then their kids graduated and though everyone wanted photos no one was up for taking on the project. So I stepped up to the plate last fall since I could and because I knew I was good with details. It was quite the project because many of the parents just simply chose not to follow the instructions. I was literally phoning parents the day of the shoots for payment even though the deadline was clearly the week before. *sigh* Anyway, at least this fall I knew what I had been through and thus adjusted my process. It did simplify things but I still had parents who decided they didn't have to follow it.

Anyway, on day one of the photo shoots it was overcast but the lighting was actually perfect against the autumnal colors in the trees and grasses out back of Cole's school where the photographer was snapping away. I had one mom who helped me out shuttling the kids to and from the classroom, wiping noses, calming down little ones and attempting to keep everyone clean as they waited their turn in front of the camera. I had had to schedule around naps and lunch and fussiness with the wee ones as well as some kids who were there some days but not others. We cruised along that first day even despite a few bouts of misty drizzle. Cole loved having me around and was so excited to get his picture taken the next day having watched some of his classmates ham it up that first day.

Day two dawned with brilliant blue skies. We had a bunch of infants scheduled first thing before they began their first naps. They took a bit more coaxing and we got off schedule. We had quite a few kids to get through before lunch and I was working with the toddler teacher who kept looking at the clock as she was fearful that she would have to push back lunch for her class because she didn't want the kids to get messy. So I was doing my best to get things back on track. Cole was scheduled as one of the last before lunch which was later on the preschool side.

We began catching up and soon I was calling for Cole and two of his classmates. They began running ahead of me out towards Lisa the photographer who was busy with two others. It was a good 250 yards from the playground fence to where she was taking pics. Cole and his buddies were running full tilt when all of a sudden I saw Cole trip and fall. It was one of those slow motion moments for me, kind of like where your eyes see an event happening but your brain lags behind in processing it. It was a millisecond before my synapses fired and I began to sprint towards him because I knew by the way he fell and the fact that he wasn't getting up that something terrible I had just witnessed.

He had rolled to his side and his face was full of panic. By the time I got to him, he was crying out in pain barely sitting up. This is my son, who when he falls, he immediately gets up, dusts himself off and says "I'm okay mom". I couldn't determine at first what he had hurt. He was crying so hard, he couldn't tell me. Then I realized his left shoulder was positioned oddly. The adrenaline was coursing through me and I began to sweat. I was fearful to move him and yet I knew I had too to assess the situation. I picked him up gingerly but he weighs 43 pounds so it wasn't easy to hoof it back to the school. We sat in the grass and I knew in my heart of hearts, he hadn't just knocked the wind out of himself. He began to complain that his "elbow" hurt although he was pointing at his shoulder. So I got him into the car and while Leena his teacher stayed with him, I ran inside to get my things and then ran 250 yards to tell Lisa I was leaving and give her the remainder of the schedule. Then ran 250 yards back to the car; I jumped in and called our pediatrician group to tell them we were on our way. I thought he had dislocated his shoulder. He was sobbing in the back seat; it was awful. I called Dave who was in NYC and told him what I thought was wrong. He was going to try to get on an earlier flight.

I felt nauseous listening to Cole writhe in agony, his face contorted as I kept glancing in the rear view mirror at him as we sailed down Rt. 394. He was inconsolable as I got him gently out of the car and into the doctor's office. They took us right away but because he was so upset, it was difficult to get a physical exam on him. She wasn't sure whether it was his shoulder or collarbone but he definitely needed an x-ray. Cole is not a fan of x-rays having been through this once before, when he broke his right arm bones at 22 months. He began to scream as we attempted to lay him down to get him positioned. It took me 15 minutes to calm him down, my hair and clothes were wet with his tears. I was trying so hard to keep my composure for his sake. I had to leave the room for them to take the x-ray and though it was only for 30 seconds, the same wailing from behind the closed door that I remembered from 3 years ago sent shivers down my spine.

The news wasn't good. He had broken his collarbone and it was slightly angulated so he would need to be seen by the pediatric ortho team over at Gillette Childrens to rule out a need for surgery. She was still concerned about his shoulder as well. Cole had exhausted himself from crying and had fallen asleep in my arms. We were able to get the temporary sling on but I knew before we even left the office that this sling was not enough to keep him from moving his arm. They gave us a script for Vicodin and the number to schedule our appointment in St. Paul. We got home and I felt as if I had run 10 miles. Cole slept on the couch thankfully while I made phone calls. I had a lump in my throat at the prospect that he might need surgery and I already was preparing myself for a long night ahead. Dave got home after dinner time. Cole was doing better with some Vicodin in his system and I had already pinned and clipped the sling since it was sliding around way too much. I knew keeping an almost five year old from being active was going to be near impossible so hoped that the experts had a better way to immobilize him. I was also having concerns about two bone breaks before he was even five. So much was rushing through my head. The only thing that provided me some consolation was that I was THERE when it happened and with him seconds after; he didn't have to wait 20 minutes or more for me to show up and hold him. I was meant to be on-site that day, I don't think it was a coincidence.

It was indeed a long night considering Cole does acrobatics in his sleep. He would wake up almost every hour or two. We headed over to Gillette Childrens the next day. Cole was in better spirits which was a blessing and a curse. He was bopping all over the place, eh gads. Luckily, the doc said he should heal well and fast. She gave us a better fitted immobilizer and wrap and off we went. We will get an updated x-ray on Halloween.

We haven't gotten much sleep this past week and we have all gotten sick to add insult to injury (at least for Cole). He remained at home with me this week allowing the bone to set solidly and he will return to Montessori on Monday with obvious limitations. He has done fantastic adjusting to using just one arm, it is just at night when he rolls around that it bothers him still.

Sadly, he never even got his photo taken but we hope to reschedule that next month once he is free of his immobilizer.

When we asked the ortho doc about his multiple bone breaks, she laughed and said "His bone density looks great! He has just been unlucky. I've spent 10 minutes with him and can tell you that it probably won't be the last time you are here, he is a high energy kid."

I was happy to hear he was healthy but I'd rather roll him in a bubble wrap than have to go through this AGAIN...but that is just not a realistic perspective so I will just have to navigate the perils of parenthood as they pop up on our journey.