My little fish...

Cole has always enjoyed the water in his baths. However, unlike with many of his other physical pursuits, swimming in a pool has been more of a challenge for him. He hasn't had a fear of it but more like a definite awareness that he isn't comfortable without an adult near him within arm's reach. I can't blame him, swimming comes naturally for some and for him it simply doesn't.

I started taking him for swim lessons at a very early age with hopes of introducing him early enough that he would feel at ease in the pool but it just hasn't unfolded that way. With steady lessons each season for the past two years, Cole has slowly decreased his hesitancy and embraced the "fun factor" of his lessons each week. His instructors at FOSS truly do a phenomenal job at teaching the kids the fundamentals while making their 30 minutes each week age-appropriate on the silly scale.

However, as Cole has gotten older, he has upped his own competitive factor. He wants to be first across the playground, first across the ice rink, first around the circle on his bike but in the pool, his peers are typically first down the lane. This has caused quite a bit of frustration over the past two series of sessions. I didn't want him to get down on swimming because he couldn't be "first" so I tried to use this as a teaching moment to keep him wanting to come despite him telling me he was "sad" because "he can't do it". We talked about how everyone learns how to do things at different speeds and how he couldn't be first (or best) at everything; but that went over just about as well as trying to get him to eat green veggies, "I know that Mom, but I don't like being last" said with a scowl.

He is determined and focused (like someone else I know) and thus, feels defeated when he can't do something that way he wishes he could. So he began working before class this past series one-on-one with his teacher for several weeks, where she had him repeat and repeat and repeat specific movements without the influence of his peers there to pressure him. Consequently, his confidence began to rise during class and his beaming smile returned when he realized he was making progress.

He will be repeating his current skills level next session to allow him to truly master them and by the time he completes it, hopefully our boat will be in the water! I will make an educated "guess", that by summer's end, he will be jumping freely off its side without a moment's hesitation, splashing around on a hot summer day without a care (or memory of his tears and frustration)

Here are two recent videos of him during a swim lesson learning free-style strokes.

Good Life...

So Cole finally started inquiring about DISNEY WORLD last fall when he saw a commercial for it and realized that Mickey Mouse "lived" there (he didn't start watching the DISNEY channel until last summer since I attempted to avoid channels with commercials for as long as I could). "Can we go there tomorrow?", he said that afternoon. I explained where it was and that we had to take a plane to get there. I shared that it was like walking around the Minnesota State Fair in some regards as there were lots of rides, food and people but that DISNEY WORLD had the characters he saw on TV walking around. His eyes got big and he asked "are Jake and the Neverland Pirates there too!??".

Dave and I are not big fans of crazy crowded overpriced theme parks but do acknowledge the magic that DISNEY holds for a kiddo. We know that a trip is inevitable and that Cole will have an absolute blast (and we will too reveling in his glee).

He has gone hot and cold since with his interest as the DISNEY advertisements increase in intensity around holidays and vacation breaks. However, the most recent ad uses One Republic's song "Good Life". I must say it is the perfect tune for DISNEY's message.



That said and since the song is popular on the radio, Cole now says when he hears it "Mom, it is the DISNEY song, did you get our plane tickets yet, you have to do that soon!!?" How can one resist such an animated request!? I think a trip to DISNEY is in our sooner rather than later plans.

Me and my pickle...

Our scanner has been down since we adjusted settings earlier last fall and it took six months to finally get it off our "to fix" list. That said, I have photographs that I ordered and framed from when Lisa Buth came back to Cole's school in November 2011 (following the first school photo day fiasco when Cole broke his collarbone)for his make-ups that I had been unable to scan into my files until now.

Since I have coordinated the photo day for Cole's Montessori school (60 kiddos to photograph individually age 1-6) the past two years, Lisa kindly has taken pictures of Cole and I together each year and offered them to me complimentary. She has managed to capture a treasure trove of images of the two of us. I have so few pictures of Cole and I since I am the one 99% of the time who thinks to tote the camera around and actually use it. I am so grateful to have these gracing my desk (the one above is my favorite).

I realize the day will come when I won't be able to coax my pickle to hug me like he does in this photo but at least I will have these amazing images to remind me of a day when he would.

A sensitive soul...

Cole was a fussy baby (who could blame him with the forced eviction from my womb that bruised and battered him so) but with four months of colic to contend with, my coping mechanism was to find control where and when I could. If that meant a military precise feeding and sleeping schedule, then my saving grace was that I could and did create one.

Having a baby/toddler fall into such a routine was a blessing and curse. It provided me secure and known windows of peace to regroup and yet tethered me to an unyielding daily monotony; it also made Cole very determined to communicate his displeasure to alterations in his strict schedule; flexibility was not on his preferred menu. He was very attuned from the get-go to changes in his environment such as sound, temperature, light and energy. He did not like unfamiliar people or places despite my many varied attempts at exposing him to both. Leaving him with a babysitter was heart wrenching, taking him to a loud public place was overwhelming for him (and consequently me), trying to leave him to play with other kids while I worked out lasted 20 minutes (tops!) before they would page me. Cole was sensitive to too much sound and stimuli. I didn't want to avoid such things as I knew he needed to learn to process it and yet, my mother bear instincts also wanted to protect him from things that upset him.

When he started at Montessori at 18 months, I sobbed in the car after every drop off for weeks, knowing I was doing the right thing for both of us to give us a break from one another. Yet, I was so conflicted. It was such a balance those first two years of his life.

It truly wasn't until he turned three and a half or so that Cole began to break free of his reserved shell a bit. He would more readily engage with "strangers" after after an initial ten minutes of shyness and on his terms he would begin interacting with others whether it be at music class, a friend's house for playdate or a place such as museum. Once he was comfortable with the people and surroundings it was hard to believe that he had been reticent at all.

To this day, Cole tends to hesitate when in a new situation. His personality is one that prefers to watch and wait; he almost always jumps in but only when he is ready. I think as a result, he has honed what I feel is his innate ability to read others well. Taking time to observe and slowly join whatever activity is going on not only allows him to "warm-up" to it but fosters a uncanny knack, for his age, of empathy. He often shares with me "so and so seems sad about X" or "X was really scared about Y". Typically, what he is talking about are events where kids are not crying or visibly upset but where their more subtle body language is expressing their emotions; surveying a room while he waits to feel comfortable has given him outstanding people-watching skills and an extremely intuitive and keen interpretation of emotional and social awareness.

Hence, he is very conscientious about other's feelings which I can only hope continues as he grows into a young man. Cole does wear his heart on his sleeve and will be the first one to share with you if you have hurt his feelings, his brow furrowed with disappointment but being a sensitive soul certainly has its merits and is a strength and a gift in a time where everyone is always in a rush and the nuances of others typically go unnoticed.