Friday, March 2, 2012
Life lesson #1007
As I have mentioned in previous posts, Cole has competitiveness hardwired into his DNA. That trait can be both a positive and a negative depending on how you control your attitude. We do our best as parents to teach our kids how to handle both the feelings of exhilaration and disappointment when winning or losing. It is a tricky life lesson for a five year old to be able to manage either graciously; Cole either wants to brag and gloat or have a complete meltdown when the outcome is less than what he expected.
Cole has always struggled with losing at anything and despite our repeated attempts at ensuring that he has both won and lost at numerous things, his typical mild-manner and sensitive nature morphs into a wild and angry version when he finds himself on the not so fun end of a race or a game. Trying to explain that not winning at something is okay is just a tough perspective for him to swallow. When you are five there is a limited amount of "gray"; things are still primarily "black and white". Though he is cognizant that sometimes he will be the fastest during a race or he will be the winner at a game, and sometimes he just won't, using logic when emotions swell is an ever-evolving skill (one that most adults still don't utilize very well).
Cole's reactive tendencies (either direction) are just a symptom of his mind still adjusting to the concept that winning feels good and hence he wants to make sure everyone knows it and losing feels icky, and thus, he wants to make sure everyone knows it. It is a feat to balance those and find a way to convey either your happiness or disappointment without going to extremes.
He is a brilliant boy and I have no doubt, he will learn to harness his competitive streak into a fantastic show of determination and ambition. However, I anticipate plenty of bumps (and tears) along the way.
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