Memorable Mentionables for May...

Seriously, I wish I could say I slept through the last four weeks, which we all know would have been an impossibility with my little non-sleeping rascal (though he has slept through the night probably 1/3 of the past month which is progress) considering it is the last day of May and I have literally NO IDEA how 31 days passed by in such the proverbial blink of an eye. It is however, whether I can believe it or not, the eve to the start of another month.

It is so strange how time passing seems to speed up exponentially once the weather becomes delightful. The days are filled with more hours of natural light so in actuality they should seem longer because they ARE longer (well not 25 hours vs 24 hours but you know what I mean). I feel like it is 10pm (bedtime for me) before I have even caught my breath from a day of GO GO GO GO!

Anyhow, the daily quota of fresh air that Cole can now absorb just fuels his already high octane energy level. He has always been full of spirit and life but WOW, has the last month proven he has decided to dial up those channels a notch (or more). He is going through shoes faster than the Olympic track team!

Here are some of the memorable mentionables from the world of Cole this past month (I don't think "mentionables" is a word but I'm using it because it goes with my multiple "M" title theme).

Typically when we put Cole down for a nap or to sleep at night, he is engaged with some truck/car/train. Sometimes, he readily puts it away, other times, he carries it up to his room and places it by his bed. I sing (for naps) or we read (at bedtime) and then lights out. Awhile back we bought Cole a sea turtle that throws blue & green stars on the walls and ceiling. He was having such a hard time winding down, we thought maybe this would help him focus and relax. Once he got through a week of wanting to push the ON/OFF switch multiple (50 or so) times, he began to enjoy the stars and the moon and would fall into a more calming state. The sea turtle has an automatic timer that shuts it off after 20 minutes. Cole takes longer to fall asleep than 20 minutes, so to keep him from getting up and playing with the buttons to start it all over, I said one day (trying to keep an even tone as I frustratingly just wanted him to fall asleep for crying out loud), "the stars are taking a nap now so now it is Cole's turn to take a nap". I said it JUST that one time, and that night, sure enough when the timer went off, "Mommy, stars taking a nap?"...I replied, "yes". And since then, anytime anything shuts off (or runs out of batteries), "(insert object) _____ taking a nap?"

Having lived in Boston for 8 years, I adopted a Bostonian way of driving. That is mandatory skill development since you learn VERY quickly that you cannot be a hesitant or passive motor vehicle operator while navigating the streets of Beantown. Hence, I also acquired quite an impressive collection of automobile citations, ALL warnings, not one a real ticket (back then, I could still talk my way out of a paper bag & had a lot of LUCK on my side). I also "picked up" quite the sailor's vocabulary. I certainly could cuss before my days living in MA but I became quite fond of 4-letter words when behind the wheel. Being a mom to a little parrot named Cole has scared me stiff into adopting a cleaner driving mouth. I have found no comparable terms for my previously used driving language that releases the tension I still feel when idiots cut me off, switch lanes unexpectedly or box me in but one day in an attempt to find some child-friendly expression, I started saying in a silly voice, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO repetitively when some nut ticked me off. It allowed me to vent my frustration and Cole instantly began laughing out loud, saying "Mommy More"...so I guess I have found my resolution to a potty mouth which keeps my son entertained. If only I can continue to remember to use this BEFORE an F bomb escapes my lips!

I can't remember when Cole began using "YUMS" as his way of articulating he wanted a snack or food but it has been awhile now. Dave and I try to eat out with him a few times a month. Out of the blue, a few weeks back on Mother's Day, we pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant we had never been too. He got all excited and started saying over and over "YUMS, YUMS". He is really good at eating out for about an hour with the help of Dave's IPHONE and the games on it (who knew they had toddler game applications). He flirts with the waitresses (the only people he doesn't seem to have stranger anxiety with) and loves straws. We have been out to eat several times since and Cole routinely uses some variation of phrasing with "YUMS" whenever we say we are going to a restaurant. Typically as we depart, he looks back at the building, waves and says "BYE BYE YUMS".


Cole's Montessori lead teacher passed along this cute tidbit...he typically is FIRST amongst his toddler peers (WHAT???) to fall asleep during nap time BUT he doesn't sleep for long in comparsion so he wakes up and looks around at all his other sleeping friends and very quietly gets up and puts his mat away. He then sits and reads books contentedly ever watchful for motion in the nap room and as soon as someone wakes up, he begins clapping and saying YEAH!! He gets so excited that someone is ready to play. His teachers just love watching him watching the others, just patiently waiting.

And last but most humbling to this mom...I say "I love you Cole (or I love you Pickles which has been my nickname for him since birth) as often as I can. Previously, he would acknowledge my sentiment with a nod or a smile. Recently, I'm lucky if I receive anything other than "YEAH, THANKS" in reply. Am I already losing my sweet little rascal to the unavoidable throes of boyhood, where his mother's "I LOVE YOU's" are embarassing? I don't think so but it certainly makes me cherish the hugs and snuggles I get even more since I know those days are dawning!

Until next month...

Potty training...Phase 2

It has been four months since I last gave an update about any movement (pun intended) with Cole's potty habits. He pretty much lost any interest he had had with the loo so I have just left his potty seat collecting dust in the corner of our bathroom. If there is one thing I know about my son it is NOT to push the envelope with this training. He certainly has a mind of his own and pressure does not sit well with his personality. The last thing I need is to still be coaxing him to the toilet past three years of age so I have to be careful to pick the right time to re-introduce the concept.

That said, and having given him a pass these past few months, it is time again to revisit what it would take to make him curious and willing to sit up on the throne.

I think my tactic will be to try and let him go nakkkkked around the house (thank goodness once again for our steam cleaner) the four days in a row that I have him home with me. Being the intrepid researcher and reader of toddler behavior that I am, I have concluded that his go go go go go go a mile a minute, can't stop, must keep moving mentality has just limited him from the awareness it takes to actually realize that he needs to GO! He pees in the tub and watches it stream, so I think letting him just be free from Pull Ups to see the peeing happening randomly might (please please) heighten his consciousness of what is going on and the importance of getting to the potty pronto! I'll need eyes in the back of head for roughly 96 hours but that is how it must be! The going #2s is bound to create a mess but maybe that will be the catalyst (along with making a game of running to the potty, "quick quick, beat Mommy to the potty" kind of thing) to make some inroads.

Obviously, some sort of fun and motivating HURRAY, YIPPEE, GOOD JOB treat must follow as continual incentive (songs and praise won't cut it with Cole as being nearly enough for following up) so his fascination with his Easter PEZ dispenser could serve as the perfect "gold star" along with some cool CARS underpants!

I'll let you know how things go...I can't avoid the fact that he needs to go potty regularly on his own before he can move up to the pre-school classroom at Montessori this fall nor can I be less than honest in that I'm tired of tackling him to change a diaper. I know full well that accidents will happen often, that they will happen at the least appropriate times and that my laundry duties will increase threefold but it is a rite of passage for both of us & one I would gladly like to see happen ASAP.

Thank you...

It is my third Mother's Day today!! Each year not just on this day but in general, I find myself more profoundly amazed at how motherhood continues to shape me in ways I could have never imagined. At 37 1/2 years, I know I have been lucky to experience many many life altering changes but this journey of being a mom surely is the most defining to date. The dynamic nature and unpredictability of being a parent is just out of the realm of description.

I have been awed by abilities, behaviors & instinctual skills I never knew I could possess; but at times I am spooked by the raw emotion that gurgles up to the surface. Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever worked at, and the road trip has just truly begun, with a million more miles to travel. That reality is exhilarating and exhausting but I truly embrace it (well, 95% of the time) and always remember how privileged I am as I listen to Cole's sleeping breath,watch his soulful eyes engage with mine or as I encounter his zest and energy for the every day.

As he playfully crashes into me with his trucks or in a drowsy state, pulls my arms around his little body, I smile to myself and silently say "thank you"...

Amusing anecdotes for April...

As I mentioned in my previous post, it is just a struggle to find 40 or so free minutes to write/edit a post every 7 or so days. I always think of great things to write about as they are happening and even go so far as to jot them down on a legal pad on my desk or in the notebook I carry in my bag because I want to be sure to capture and remember Cole's (and mine as a mother) formative years but actually sitting down to compose somewhat cohesive, witty and relatively succinct script each week has just proven to be a challenge under the constraints of my new schedule.

I will create longer entries when the stars align allowing me the ample time I desire to write but in the interim, I thought I would share some of the entertaining tidbits that Cole is dishing out these days.

He seems to have acquired a wee bit of the Irish in his gait as of late. He'll be running full tilt and all of a sudden do this little hop step where his feet come together like a leprechaun and then off he continues to race. It is his funniest quirk to date.

Cole still exhibits stranger anxiety. Any new people or interactions typically send him burying his head into my arms/legs. He warms up eventually or when you walk away, he gladly says "bye bye". However, he is always friendly with inanimate objects such as trees, cars, slides, rocks, and most recently dirt. He says "Hi Dirt" with such excitement as if he is greeting me or Dave and then gives the dirt piles a glance over his shoulder as we pass along with his lilting voice exclaiming "bye bye dirt".

He is the messiest eater this side of toddlerdom but when he eventually realizes the complete sticky chaos around him he wigs out and holds up his hands as if they are on fire. He fights me still on wiping his face but at least he has clean hands some of the time. Dirty hands don't seem to faze him, just gummy, tacky ones. So picture this, he wants a rice crispy treat, I give him one and he walks away. As the warmth from his hands softens the texture, he obviously decides to remedy the situation by grabbing a tissue and wrapping it around the treat. Then I begin to hear him whining and I find him with this incredulous look on his face as he shows me his issue. The fine tissue has now fused itself to every nook and cranny of the rice crispy treat. He won't allow me to give him a new one, he wants this original one. So there I was picking off finite pieces of tissue from a gooey rice crispy treat with him watching my every move (just in case I might try a substitution or some silly move like that). I hand it back to him with minuscule traces of tissue and he hands it back. I then pry off the remaining bits with rice crispy residue now under my fingernails and he happily pops the entire thing into his mouth and smiles.

Me, only a bit more mellow...

Since starting my part-time gig almost 8 weeks ago, I have found it more and more difficult to set aside "quiet" time to BLOG. There is very little "quiet" time in this house but I used to at least get the better part of two hours on a good day while Cole napped to rush around completing TO-Do's, along with running errands and getting some household chores accomplished while my little rascal tagged along or supervised (or in full disclosure, just created a bigger mess somewhere else in the house while he went unsupervised).

Now, I am working three days a week, I have fewer "free" hours to fit in grocery shopping, vacuuming, laundry, cleaning, bill paying, budgeting, vacuuming, dog walking, the post office, the dry cleaners, the library, vacuuming (you can tell it is spring when Tucker sheds and I literally have to vacuum every day), and so on.

I don't know how moms work full time, raise a child(ren) and run a household. People tell me often how nice the house always looks and how organized I am. I cook or at least prep dinner five nights a week. Dave never has to rummage looking for a clean shirt or socks. I am proud that I run a tight and relatively upright ship (and a clean one) but it is because there are so many things out of my realm of control now that I am a parent to a toddler that those things that do remain under my authority and management have to be just so. Thus, I prefer to leave and enter a "quiet" and clutter free home. It is just my thing and my husband stopped questioning my motives long ago!

Anyone who knows me well, knows however, that becoming a mom has certainly mellowed my Type A ways. I used to go as far as to turn labels facing out on items in my refrigerator (though I still tend to do it with things in my cabinets) and alphabetized my CDs and books (which I no longer do probably because we don't listen to CDs anymore and my book collection has waned the past 2.4 years). I don't obsess about dust bunnies as much as I do dirty paw prints on my floor or dishes in the sink. I shrug when Cole's hands become filthy or he picks up food from the floor (which is actually rare since Tucker has dibs on those) but I detest a snotty laced face, it literally makes me cringe.

The mess Cole makes when he eats is, well overwhelming, but just getting him to eat takes all my patience and energy so I don't fret over the slovenly manner in which he chooses to go about his meals. I used to care more about wiping up EVERY speck after EVERY meal but over time I now let a few days go by before I chisel the dried jello and dribbled ketchup glue from off the mat beneath his chair (hey at least I had the sense to buy a replaceable mat). I do loathe little people hand prints and dog nose smudges on my glass doors and thus you can find me carrying around a bottle of vinegar (I've gone GREEN) nightly to rid glass surfaces and door jams of sticky little finger residue and slobber.

I don't have major piles of anything on my desk (other than books & magazines which I doubt I will ever get around to reading). However, I do have a tendency to accumulate and overstock our basement storage shelves and chest freezer with enough "stuff" to feed us all for a month should we ever be held captive in our house because the entry doors freeze shut (ha, you laugh but our garage door froze shut this past January).

I do make our beds every morning before going downstairs but I don't mop the floor everyday like I used too. I do stack full outfits (top/pants/socks) in Cole's closet for two weeks at a time (just in case I die, he'll match for at least that amount of time) but in all honesty I started doing that because when we have accidents, I just whip a new set off the shelf since Cole doesn't hold still for more than 10 seconds and I don't feel like chasing his naked bum around while accidents typically occur when we are already running late for somewhere (another thing I hate to be is late).

The morale of this post is that I believe that though I still hold high standards for portions of my life, becoming a mom has taught me to let go of many of them and just enjoy the moments. If that means laughing to myself as my son hands me a half-chewed gooey graham cracker at a play date and I without a napkin pop it in my mouth to dispose of it or if it means rolling with it as he licks the sidewalk chalk off his hands before I can stop him, well then, I've already done that and it wasn't the end of the world for me (or for Cole).

Whew...I didn't think I'd make it!

I really and truly thought I would need to go into the "gone batty" asylum as winter here in Minnesota was like nothing I had ever experienced before. We certainly got away with our first winter here (2007-2008) as only a handful of days (11 to be exact) went below and stayed below zero. The winter of 2008-2009 we had 42 days of subzero temperatures, 12 of those -10 or higher. The other 3 months it barely got above 15 degrees and when it would get into the 20s, it was like WHOO HOO, you almost left the house without your jacket!!

The four walls of this house began to close in on Cole and I about mid-February despite my coordinating playdates for him (and me) and hosting 6 toddlers at our house every Monday afternoon. We had art class and music class and rec center time but there are still a lot of hours to fill in a day when you can't be outside. We had a good deal of snow but sadly, we didn't sled much either because it was just too cold and frustratingly, they just don't make good gloves for toddlers. I found great gear for him for next year but Cole's hands were still just too small this year and his poor fingers became icicles because nothing was lined (believe me I searched high and low and bought 6 pairs so he could double up because we lose them much like we do socks).

Anyway, we mustered through 6 more weeks of winter and finally are scarf and hat FREE (though it has taken about 2 weeks for Cole to NOT automatically put on his fleece hat each time we leave the house. We spend afternoons after work/school out in the yard, absorbing the warm sunshine and the earthy breeze. It still gets chilly at night but the lilac bush has buds and the grass is greening up.

Cole is all about dirt and rocks now and is filthy from head to toe each evening but I love that he loves nature. We keep finding ladybugs (which are good luck I've been told), we have heard the woodpeckers in the park, the birds are back chirping and there is a bunny living under our deck (we had bunnies last spring so she is probably back). Why she picked our fenced yard with Tucker roaming around I don't know but I suspect she knows there are no other predators lurking about.

We do a lot of playground time now and fearless Cole is climbing all over just like the big kids do. I can't believe how much he has changed and grown stronger since the fall. I was shocked as he scrambled up the bars without even glancing in my direction awaiting my assistance as he did 5 months ago! He is already needing me less which is just as it should be but it still causes a lump in my throat as I watch him become less dependent.

So we are getting our Vitamin D fix and glad to have shed the layers of clothes (and the extra 10 minutes it took to get out the door). Hurray it is FINALLY spring!!

Whether it be...

Whether it is because my little rascal is throwing a fit so dramatic it could be worthy of an Oscar; whether it is him flashing his million dollar smile as he splashes in his bath; whether it is the impish grin he throws in my direction as he dashes off for a game of catch-me; whether it be his lowered eyes avoiding my firm reproach as he continues to purposefully and precariously perch himself on the back of the couch; whether it is his predictable cranky mood after his daily nap; whether it is the acrobatic routine before bed that makes me think he was a circus performer in a previous life; whether it is the way he runs to me saying MOMMY in his lilting voice EVERYTIME I pick him up from Montessori; whether it is the fact that he goes full tilt 94% of the day while the other 6% he lollygags when I actually need to him to MOVE; whether it be the way his face lights up when I sing; whether it is that it brings tears to my eyes each time he really hurts himself; whether it is that I feel like a mother bear protecting her young when he gets pushed at the playground; whether it is the fatigue that makes me nauseous at times because he won't sleep through the night; whether it be that I get warm and fuzzy observing Cole hugging Tucker with his arms around his big soft head and Tucker responding with the gentlest nudge of his nose; whether it is the fascination that I feel watching Cole explore himself and his place in this world; whether it is the pure joy that oozes from my pores as I listen to him giggle or whether it is the sound of his breathe and the vulnerability he exudes as he sleeps

Whether it be all of these reasons and an infinite many more, I should always remember and respect that becoming a mother is a privilege like no other.

In like a LION...

It has been as wild and unpredictable around the Denham household as it is in the mighty jungle. So the saying that the month of March comes in like a lion would be very apropos.

Cole has always been strong willed, independently minded and curious. He has tooted to his own proverbial horn since he came into this world BUT he has taken his personality to a whole other stratosphere these past weeks. We had some hints the past month or so that we were not to escape the TERRIBLE TWOS, however one always has hope. That stated, just about EVERYTHING more often than not has become a struggle:

Eating (he won't), I'm lucky if the child eats 1/8 of everything I put on his plate!

Going to bed (it is like he is in the circus with the acrobatic routine he performs once lights are out)

Staying asleep (he still wakes at least once during the night, if not twice so no wonder I have the continued sleep deprived look I had when he was a newborn)

Getting dressed (he has to be pinned down some times so that I can wrestle with him to get his clothes on; same goes for diaper changes)

Getting out the door ( he runs around the house until I finally grab him and once again wrestle with him to get his jacket on though I must give him kudos for putting on his own hat and gloves)

Getting into the car (he races around the backyard or the garage pad because I am normally weighed down like a pack mule and can't carry his 30lbs and everything else, so I put everything in the Volvo and have to play chase in cold weather on icy concrete)

Behavior, he has begun PUSHING which is a NO-NO and hence his first time out at school happened last week; he started pushing Tucker and pushing Dave and I away; we obviously are being consistent with our discipline on this; typically it happens at the end of the day (understandable sure, I feel many times like PUSHING since I have had very limited personal space for approximately 810 days but that is why I work out and drink wine).

He also has started with the colossal emotionally charged meltdowns (over his books falling from his hands, Tucker lapping up something he drops, his trains toppling over, sharing ANYTHING with ANYBODY and on and on...) He even has gotten upset several times when I put my now shoulder length hair into a ponytail (MOMMY OFF with such vehemence in his voice as he tugs at my hairband as if I have done him such an offense).

If I can distract him within 1.4 seconds, I can diffuse or soften the tantrum but sometimes I just have to let him have his breakdown, check in with him, letting him know I'm there with a hug. The hardest challenge for me is twofold, I hate to see him so visibly upset with body shuddering and face blotchy and secondly, I become exasperated many times as some fits are over something specific that he can't communicate to me though he tries his darnedest repeating unintelligible toddler speak over and over in sheer frustration. I as his mom should just be able to figure his needs out (Yes, I am supposed to be a mindreader!!)

So onward march (or March) as we forge ahead with hopes that the Denhams can come OUT like a lamb by month's end!

Why is it...

Why is it that Cole moves with the speed and agility of an Olympic track star 98.5% of his waking hours, keeping me playing chase and catch me every time I need him to hold still BUT when I need him to move along and keep the pace to keep our blood from freezing while we are out walking Tucker, he pokes along at a snail's pace, wandering and strolling down the icy trail as if it was a balmy 80 degrees out??

I am happy he loves his daily walks as much as Tuck but I have Cole 25 yards behind me and Tucker 50 yards ahead of me and I'm running in place cursing this continuous winter under my breathe while I manage them both trying not to lose my patience. I have to keep Tucker in my line of vision but avoid hurrying Cole along since he has taken to sitting down in the snow in protest when I push him to move when he isn't ready, further delaying our lap around the park.

So sometimes, depending on how long a day I have had, I end up carrying a writhing 30lb unhappy little boy the remainder of the walk, as the pooch bounds ahead joyfully though glances back in our direction sensing my growing anxiety.

I shuffle along praying I keep my balance as I wrestle with Cole who wants to be under his own power. Good thing only a rare few are witnesses, as I'm one of only a handful of idiots out dutifully walking their canine in this weather and the only one insane enough to bring her toddler along!

I am toasty warm thanks to clutching Cole for the past 15 minutes by the time we return but irrationally irritated as I now have to navigate the two kids as we re-enter the house. I make everyone STOP, I get Cole's wet slippery boots off so he doesn't fall on his face as he now revs his engine and is back in the race again across the tile floor. I beg Tucker to sit until I can dry off his soaking 85lbs in a vain attempt to lessen further collection of muddy paw prints across the floor I just cleaned for the 4th time that day, 2 hours before. I have to get my 18 layers of clothes off, chase Cole to remove his snow pants, Tucker is drooling for his treat and now dinner needs to be started. *SIGH* But I guess if this is one of my biggest frustrations of the day, I should be so lucky!

Potty training....Phase 1

I'll keep this entry relatively succinct since there is not too much to share at this point but I did want to expound a wee (pun intended) bit since potty training really is a big confluence of events especially to a 2.3 year old.

I've read the books, listened to my mom peer's advice and ended up just like 85% of everything else with Cole ultimately have just gone with my gut on this whole potty thing.

Without going into great detail, Cole on his own volition has most recently begun associating a wet or poopy diaper with going to the toilet, he stops cold from whatever motion he was in and looks at me funny and then grabs his bum and mumbles. At this point, I prompt him "do you need to go to the potty"? I would say 30% of the time he says YES and off we go to remove his pants and diaper. I make a big deal about sitting on his little tushie seat and do my best to throw any remains into the toilet so we can make a big deal about flushing it away. He seems to thoroughly enjoy this event even saying BYE BYE to his turds.

The other 70% is business as usual and only when my nose catches the scent are we off for a change. I bought him CARS pull-ups but they honestly don't seem to be triggering any additional visits to the potty. However he does get very excited during diaper changes now and he actually will hold still while I put them on so Hallelujah for that.

I will have to say that the most unexpected thing about this whole learning to go potty ordeal which NONE of my research or reading alluded to has been how difficult after 26 months of changing and cleaning up a messy diaper while my lil guy squirms on his back is it to NOW wipe the mess while he fidgets standing up (which I do 30% of the time when we actually do the whole use the toilet thing). I'm killing trees left and right with the excess I seem to need to get him poop free with my novice skill at wiping him while he is vertical.

Stay tuned for further updates and hope they don't include entries about a clogged loo.

Another kind of "25 Things...." List

I joined the ranks of the addicted last fall by signing up for Facebook. For the longest time I thought the site was for those quite a bit younger than me but after hearing about so many who were re-connecting with so many individuals from their past, I decided to give it a whirl. I had become more nostalgic in the past few years and was genuinely curious as to what friends from various chapters of my life were doing with their lives.

It took me the better part of a month once I began to figure out the bells and whistles of the various tabs and functions of FB and to actually catch up with everyone who I was finding and those who were finding me in cyberspace. I felt exhilarated at coming across names and faces that were familiar despite the 15-20 years since I last saw or spoken to them.

The whole initial process reminded me of when I reluctantly registered my profile on MATCH.com back in 2001. All my single girlfriends were swearing they were "meeting" cool guys. They all had dates lined up and though none were finding their princes, they were all having a blast. I remember vividly painstakingly drafting my "about me" section and agonizing over what picture to post. I was shocked at the number of emails I got and I spent a ridiculous amount of my free time sorting through them. I had to create a system and make quick gut decisions about the guys. Facebook is obviously different in that I know everyone that is a "friend" and thus they aren't complete strangers however many are viewing my WALL and INFO for the first time in a long time. So updating them with my life's resume is what makes it feel comparable to when I was managing my MATCH profile.

Those who have been active in my life since college know that I ultimately of all my girlfriends who used MATCH, was the only one (and the least expected one) to meet her ROMEO! Dave and I shared emails through MATCH for a week before making plans and meeting for what was essentially a blind date. The rest is history and the butt of many a roast at our wedding festivities.

Anyway, I digress.

If you have been on Facebook recently, no doubt you have been tagged to write the “25 random things about me" list. I realize that some people do not like memes, or they are too busy to write the lists, but I enjoy the occasional one ever so often and I have had fun reading fun and frank tidbits about my FB friends.

Now, there’s a mama-fied version of the FB meme on the BabyCenter community, called "25 random things about being a mom". Here is what I came up with as I continue my maze of first time motherhood!

1. I had no idea that there were a depth & intensity of emotions I had yet to discover before becoming a mom.

2. I had no idea that I would be saying things like "please don't lick the rock" or " please don't put your cars in the toaster" or "please don't eat the dogfood".

3. I had no idea being a very Type A personality that I would be able to embrace dirty hands, spills, poop, throw up and general disarray of my home as I have, however I still cringe at crushed cracker particles, hand prints, snotty noses, muddy footprints on the back of the Volvo's seats and a sticky or dirty floor.

4. I cannot go to bed without every toy put away (Cole helps some and the rest I do after he is in bed); every piece of puzzle put back; every book binding facing up or out (so that he doesn't rip the pages pulling them out otherwise) and every part of anything with parts found and returned to its rightful position.

5. I had no idea that breastfeeding Cole would be the undescribable bond that it was and the only time he would be still for the first four months of his colicky life, really his entire life as he continues to be in motion 90% of time. (Nor did I anticipate breastfeeding for 15 months!)

6. I had no idea that Cole's wonder, awe, excitement, joy and freedom as he experiences life were contagious.

7. I had no idea that Cole would be teaching me more about myself than I would be teaching him about his world.

8. I had no idea that I could function on so little sleep for the better part of two years. Seriously, coming from someone who was miserable pre-child without 8 hours of uninterrupted ZZZs.

9. I had no idea that I would become a pack mule every time we left the house even for the shortest errand. '

10. I had no idea that a 30lb little boy could have enough energy that he could probably light up Times Square.

11. I had no idea how frustrating it could be to make or take a phone call. Everytime I get on the phone, despite having just played for hours, Cole decides to let me know he isn't happy about someone else having my attention.

12. I had no idea that watching my child sleep could be the balm to an absolutely terrible day.

13. I had no idea that I would have to repeat so many things so many times

14. I had no idea that at 18 months, Cole could outwit me already flashing his million dollar smile as he did so.

15. I had no idea that watching my son being wheeled into surgery would cause me to sob uncontrollably and almost vomit in fear.

16. I had no idea that I would have to hold myself back from intervening to let Cole experience falls, disappointments, frustration and playground dynamics.

17. I had no idea how proud I would be of each and every accomplishment and how sincerely surprised I could be when he seemingly mastered something overnight.

18. I wish I could put Cole's sweet, earthy, with a kiss of sunshine smell into a bottle to treasure forever. My brain will remember and savor that scent always.

19. I had no idea how delightful it could feel to have Cole see me after being apart and run full tilt into my arms saying in his lilting voice MOOOOMMMMYYYY!

20. I had no idea how purely entertained I could be by Cole's antics (most of the time).

21. I had no idea how irritating (like nails on a chalkboard or the mess packing peanuts make) WHINING could be.

22. I had no idea that I would cherish the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom. I honestly thought I would be a mom who went back to work. Until I was a mom I wasn't a mom and thus, the decision became quite clear for me on December 6, 2006.

23. I had no idea that my sense of hearing would intensify so greatly that I could wake from a dead sleep if a pin dropped.

24. I had no idea of the immediate adrenaline rush that can occur when you feel your child's pain.

25. I had no idea (despite every parent I know telling me so) how quickly time would pass and how fast Cole would change and grow.

A lesson in sharing by Tucker...

Learning to share has been one of the more challenging feats to teach Cole. It is a constant ongoing dialogue in this house as he plays with us and his friends. I am constantly reminding him that we share snacks, balls, crayons, but most importantly his trucks.

Cole's trucks are his beloved possessions and thus handovers to others are a very rare event. He could be carrying around a handful or playing in a separate room and if a playmate even eyes one laying on the floor, the shriek of "don't even think about it buster" goes out. Many vain attempts have been made, once a peer actually picks up one of Cole's fleet, to calm him down out of his obvious (to everyone) discomfort. He becomes so agitated and his distress so palpable it is beyond the typical parental reaction "Cole we need to be able to share our toys". Cole hoards his trucks at home, at the rec center and at playdates. I do my best to keep him to two trucks (one for each hand) but many times he manages to balance as many as humanely possible which actually keeps him from being able to play with them at all but try explaining that to a two year old.

So we struggle each time we have this "situation". I consistently ask to see and hold his trucks when I play with him one-on-one to let him know that I too can enjoy them and will ultimately return them to him so that he may use them once again. Sometimes he hesitates but hands them over like they are fine china watching me carefully until I hand them back and he snatches them and runs away as if he is afraid I will ask for them back again; sometimes he readily brings them to me and deposits a whole caravan on my desk and says "mommy push" so that I will push them back and forth with him; other times he states vehemently "no mommy" when I ask to play with them and darts me a glance that says "don't ask again".

So the other day while we were couped up once again on a bitter cold day, I had both kids (Tucker and Cole) down in the basement playroom. Tucker was antsy and wanted to play fetch with his stuffed woodchuck (not the real thing of course). Cole likes to grab poor Tucker's toys and run away with them so Tucker will chase him. He giggles with glee as Tucker gently (oh so gentle he is with Cole) tugs for his toy. Cole tugs back but is unwilling to release. Tucker looks my way with a "please mom, make him drop it" plea in his eyes. Normally, I make Cole drop the toy so Tucker can romp away making himself happy squeaking the toy, while Cole pouts and whines that I let Tucker have his toy. So I decided to make this a teaching lesson about sharing. As Cole got over his fit and ran after Tucker to wrestle the toy away I said firmly "Cole, Tucker is willing to share his toys with you, can you share with Tucker"? Cole looked at me quizzically but released his grip on the toy allowing Tucker to trot back to me. I played tug with Tucker for a few seconds while Cole watched us both. I then said, "Okay, Tucker is ready to share again". Cole came running over with a smile and Tucker dropped the toy at his feet. Cole ran away as Tucker chased him but this time when Tucker tugged, Cole let go and laughed. Instead of immediately fussing, Cole ran over to us and Tucker once again liberated the woodchuck. This went back and forth for a few more intervals with both parties playing and sharing together!

Since that day, they continue to play well and in a similar fashion. Cole sometimes needs a prompt but he routinely will let Tucker retrieve his toy without a fight. I don't think Cole is ready for the same level of sharing with his peers quite yet. But I thought it was great that using Tucker as a catalyst for understanding how fun sharing can be allowed Cole to better understand that two-way street. I give kudos to my cherished canine for letting me use him to tackle the issue from a new perspective.