My little observer...

Driving back from school one day last week, we were on Rt. 394 and the winds were howling. The low pressure storm that had sat on us for two days had brought down tree branches and made the house shake. I had both hands on the steering wheel trying to keep the Volvo from being blown into the other lanes. The gusts could quite literally do that as I watched other cars less prepared sway in and out like they were being driven by drunk drivers.

Cole and I got off the highway headed towards home and a plastic bag swirled up out of nowhere and came directly at the car. It bounced off the Volvo's hood and danced away as if twirling to a symphony. From the back seat I heard Cole pipe up and say matter of factly "well, that's not something you see everyday". As I cracked up at his adult-like observation, he looked at me as I smiled at him in the rear-view mirror and in all seriousness said "well, you don't".

My little "fix-it" man...

Super-Glue, scotch tape, a dedicated drawer of batteries, doll-house sized tools and some engineering mom magic have saved many of Cole's toys from landing in the trash. I make a diligent attempt at salvaging whatever truck/car/engine/digger has malfunctioned, lost a part, stopped turning or whirling or is just dying a slow death due to its much-loved status. I swear that the quality control they use for testing the 3-5 year old BOY range of toys doesn't come close to reality. How many stairs do they drop them down? Do they truly put them through front end "crashes"? Are they stepped on repetitively? Is every part that moves twisted and turned a billion times?

Typically he is my captive audience as I mumble and moan inwardly (or not so inwardly) trying to either jury rig a fix, remove a screw the size of a pin head or prevent Super-Glu from touching anything other than the intended target (I'm successful 6/10 times on that since the parts are so tiny that the pliers slip 6/10 times).

Cole peppers me with questions (as I continue to try to keep my potty mouth from actually escaping my lips) and I do my best to describe what I am doing and why since he is so curious about EVERYTHING. Sometimes I can give the toy back after it has been through the "mom shop" but other times I have to prop it up to dry or set. Cole looks longingly at it and asks every minute "is it ready yet?"

Cole is as careful as a four year old boy can be expected to be with his things but unfortunately he is learning that sometimes things cannot be repaired, that his mom will give a valiant effort but in the end, sometimes we have to just simply say good-bye and adopt the next item with wheels from the playbin. Luckily, though he does have allegiance to a handful of toys, he is still young enough that he gets over his grief quickly.

So the other day, I hear him tinkering around downstairs while I am prepping dinner. As most moms can relate to, the normal sounds of play are what we unconsciously "listen" for. No matter how involved we may be in whatever activity we are engaged in, if it gets too quiet or the "sounds" are unfamiliar, an immediate investigation is required.

It had gotten eerily quiet and when I called down to him, he didn't answer BUT I could hear him moving around. I dropped the onion I was chopping and grabbed the kitchen towel, ran down the stairs and found Cole near my desk with a truck in his hand whose bumper had come off. He gave me a sheepish smile until I started laughing uncontrollably whereas a huge grin erupted on his cute mug. He had taken the scotch tape from my office and torn off about 25 itty bitty pieces and plastered the bumper back on. He held it out to me and said "look mom, I fixed it"!! The bumper was still hanging off precariously but he was all proud of himself for taking the initiative. I was so proud of him for doing the same that I felt tears well up in my eyes.

143 Posts...

It has been three years this month that I began writing pieces for this blog, THREE YEARS...holy toledo, that is 36 months of capturing in words my role as a first time mom and approximately 1080 days of content for sharing snippets of our lives as Cole experienced the world around him and we came along for the ride.

My original posts tended to lean heavy on what becoming a mom meant to my identity, as it seemed in a flash I was no longer who I had been before December 6, 2006. My name was the same, my face was the same but internally I felt like a stranger in my own skin. In those early years, Cole's presence I felt right down to my bones, literally and figuratively. I will never forget those initial months when his colic ruled my every waking hour. It was the most all encompassing period that my heart, mind and soul had ever been forced to reckon with. There was so much change to so many aspects of my life that I was both overwhelmed and overjoyed and trying to find a happy medium. The roller coaster of emotions in that first year or two was truly life altering and though I knew as I held Cole in my arms the night of his delivery that I would never be the same, I could have never have been less prepared for what was ahead of me. Parenthood shapes you without a doubt, some days like a bat whacking you over the head, while other days it comes at you gently like falling rain.


The intensity of parenthood is constantly changing, its dynamics insisting on shifting when you least anticipate it and for someone like me who previously liked life to be in neat bundles, scheduled and expected, becoming a mom has been a lesson about living in the present and reveling in the moment(s)because I already find myself pondering "where have the past four years gone"?

Life is much easier these days and my blog posts now are more about the quirky, witty, smart and funny "stuff" that Cole entertains us with. He is a comedian, a scientist, a bookworm, a picky eater, a giggler, a snuggler and very much a BOY! I'm so lucky and grateful everyday for having him grace our lives.

He can do so many things without me now and though a relief in large part, a sadness envelopes me at times when I think of things he no longer needs me for. The push and pull of his growth and development is a constant reminder that Cole is forging his way in this crazy world and finding the ways in which he can best navigate life's maze. Thankfully, for now, he does still need my guiding hand.

So I look forward to the next 143 posts as a raise my rascal one day at a time...

OBX Moments 2010

We had a grand two weeks in one of our favorite destinations...here is a little video of all the moments I was able to capture...

Despite the weather...

We take two weeks of vacation each September in the Outer Banks since our trek from Minnesota takes so long to/from. It truly is ridiculous to drive 26 hours each way for just 6 days so we make it worth our while and settle into beach mode for a bit longer. One week is just us four (some years friends from the DC area join us) and the second week we rent a bigger home and my extended family and parent's best friends party under one roof. This year we had a smaller group as some outside commitments kept some people from being able to join us.

Our first week, the weather was picture perfect, 80 degree weather and cloudless skies. We did a lot of "firsts" with Cole this year, climbed the Hatteras Lighthouse, went kayaking, took the car ferry over to Ocrakoke Island as well as continued our tradition of favorite activities. Driving on the beach and having stretches of it all to ourselves to swim, fish, run, wander and beachcomb and where Tucker can roam without a leash has to be one of my top five things to do in life.

Our second week unfortunately has been a wash out weather-wise. One day of sun (when this picture was snapped) followed by the past four days of rain and/or gray gloomy skies. We have snuck the kids out to the beach whenever the radar indicated a break but those have been too few and far between. The winds picked up today so strong that even walking outside near the house you get sandblasted. So we have made the most of the time indoors, baking brownies, reading books, playing with blocks and games, watching movies and running up and down the long hallways (well the kids have that is)! Cole has had some dedicated time with Gigi and Pop Pop and the past few nights at our family dinners he commented "this is fun"! Sure, it would have been nice to have our days spent beach side of course but after the rocky start medically I had to 2010, I am just grateful to be enjoying the closeness of family.

Another Denham Road Trip Adventure...

Dave and I met in Boston in 2001. Next summer, it will be a decade that we have known one another. In those 10 years, we have logged more miles on the road as a couple (I won't even attempt to add up Dave's individual miles) than anyone else I know. Two cross country moves required two cross country journeys of course. From Beantown to San Francisco via the northern tier of the U.S. Once on the left coast we traveled in our Jeep Cherokee to Lake Tahoe, Oregon, Mendocino, Sonoma, and Monterey. We then left our hearts in the City by the Bay and ventured east this time across the southern states. Once settled in our nation's capital, we took day trips to Baltimore, Virginia Beach and bi-annual trips to our favorite destination, the Outer Banks. Our lives changed with the birth of Cole and we found ourselves on our 3rd move (4th actually move since we rented first and then bought a house in DC) in 5 years, this time to the Twin Cities. Packing up Cole who was five months old, the Jeep was weighing heavy as we followed Dave and Tucker in the loaded Penske truck as we made our way to our new home with its yard, fence and suburban zip code.

Having Cole has not curbed our appetite for road trips, we realized early on that we had more control traveling in our car than flying and because we prefer to take our canine kid with us as much as possible, we continue our quest to drive here, there and everywhere.

Cole is a road tripper extraordinaire. With long drives to Pennsylvania, Montana, Kansas and our annual treks to Outer Banks, he just knows what the deal is. We stop thanks to GPS at playgrounds to let both kids stretch and play but we spend hours on end in the truck, Cole watches the big rigs go by, has his own personal movie theatre and passes the time adeptly using our Iphones (wow, the applications for kids are amazing and educational). A cooler and snack bag keeps us from having to stop too often. Just like when he was a baby, the soothing movement of the truck traveling at high speed (and Tucker snoring) makes him nod off. Sure he has his meltdowns but they truly are few and far between.

This post is being written two days after our 26 hour and 1400+ miles journey to Hatteras Island, NC. As you can see from the photo included, Cole has a smile on his face as Dave snapped this on a pitstop, what great memories we hope we are creating for him as these road trip adventures weave their way into our family fabric!

Look Mommy...

At the start of the year, I began "lunching" with Cole, just him and me every other Friday. Cole is great at restaurants as I think the fact that Dave and I have taken him out to eat quite often in his almost four years, he knows what to expect and what we expect of him when we are enjoying a meal out!

Anyway, I thought it would be a nice Mommy/Son thing to do after we run our typical Friday morning errands to lunch together. We frequent kid-friendly places of course and he 9/10 times will order Mac-N-Cheese. He is not a protein eater, never has been. Thank goodness he drinks tons of milk and eats cheese and eggs. I wonder how he has grown so tall despite continuing to eat like a bird?

So last week we hit Whole Foods and then walked (or ran since it was raining) to Noodles and Company. He likes to choose a table by the window and ask a million times when our food is going to come. So our food arrives and I stir it up and move some of his Mac-N-Cheese from the scorching bowl to his plate in an attempt to cool it off. While he waited as patiently as a 3 1/2 year old can while looking at his food, two gentleman sat down at the table next to us. They smiled and said hi, Cole got all shy and coy and turned away as usual.


After several minutes of watching the steam stream from his plate, I finally give him the go-ahead and he digs in and begins chowing, cheese dripping into his lap, on his cheek...we kept laughing because it is really hard to eat Mac-N-Cheese without making a mess.

The server delivered food to the two men who sat down besides us and Cole's eyes go big...he can barely swallow his food fast enough before he "whispers" loudly..."look, mommy, that man got mac-n-cheese like me"...I said, "he sure did"...Cole with a totally incredulous tone goes "so big people can eat mac-n-cheese too? that is soo cool" The guy eating the mac-n-cheese couldn't help but overhear him, smiled and gave Cole a wink. Cole got bashful again but beamed a big smile back!

PeeeeYewwww

Driving the 11 miles west to Cole's school we drive past some invisible wildlife crossing, well not exactly invisible since unfortunately, it is in the area of Route 394 where the speed limit goes from 55mph to 65mph. That said, sadly it is the worst place for animals to attempt to make it to the other side of the road. Gladly, Cole is typically distracted by the various construction and large Semi trucks we see and thus has yet to ask about the roadkill. However, the other morning approaching the ramp we take to exit to his school, the fresh and pungent smell of a skunk filled the car.

Cole: "Mommy what is the smell, it is icky" (as he holds his nose)

Me: "That is a skunk" (as I see it's remains off to the side)

Cole: "Well, it needs a bath, it must be really dirty" (as he continues to crinkle up his nose at the now stronger than before odor)

Me: *Laughing* (Pondering the thought of explaining the skunk was dead and then thinking better of it since some things are better off left unsaid)

That's All Folks...

Dave has been traveling a ton for work, new clients, new business, all good for him and Colle & McVoy, not so good for me, Cole and Tucker. I think it is awesome that my talented husband is in such high demand, but I feel a bit like Cole on the days when he just wants to hide his toys and isn't in the mood to share.

But reality is what it is and thus Dave is going international this week, flying off to the far away land of Germany for a week. It is difficult enough to connect with him when he is stateside and in the throes of deals and transactions and presentations oh my, let alone in a timezone 8 hours ahead.

So he decided that it was time to learn what everyone else seems to have already mastered, SKYPE. As long as he has internet connection which he isn't 100% sure of, we will be able to "see" one another instead of just settling for hearing one another's voice.

He bought a webcam & microphone long ago, I don't remember why but it has been collecting dust in a drawer so he pulled that out and hooked it up and voila. We practiced with him upstairs on his computer and Cole and I downstairs in my office on mine. It took us a little getting used too but I think we know enough that we can muster through.

Dave came back downstairs to give me passwords and such and Cole ran upstairs as he wanted to "get on daddy's puter". We watched as he sprang into Dave's office, his face filling the screen. He likes to come in close so you get a full shot of his adorable mug. Dave spoke silly to him and got him laughing. He kept moving around (as he typically does 99% of the day) so it was like watching an action movie rather than just talking to someone. This went on for a few minutes when he suddenly blurts out "okay, show's over". Dave and I looked at one another and burst out in laughter, where did he ever hear that? He could hear us reacting and so with glee, continued to repeat this.

It obviously lost its initial performance value but nonetheless became instantly blogworthy.

I don't want a dirty banana...

Cole is a very very very selective eater. He ate many more foods as a toddler than he does as a pre-schooler. The past six months he keeps me guessing as one week he will eat corn or peas and the next week, he won't touch them. One day he will eat noodles with butter and the next he is shrieking because he doesn't want the "sauce". He will devour blueberries, apples and strawberries and then say 24 hours later "I don't like those". He won't touch chicken nuggets (or most meat proteins), has NEVER taken to yogurt and shies away from most veggies. So cooking for him is a frustrating task. I have thought about just giving him a plate a food and if he eats it, great and if he doesn't, then he will if he is hungry enough. However, he is already reed thin and wiry because of his 5am-8pm GO GO GO schedule (no more naps sadly except the occasional crash mid-afternoon on our couch) and thus I worry about his caloric intake. He does drink almost 1 1/2 gallon of milk each week, eats eggs, cheese and turkey hot dogs and lots of organic fruit. I am hopeful he will embrace a broader menu as he grows.

Anyway, this week he has been a little monkey, noshing on bananas. I peel them typically so he doesn't see them before they hit his plate. Sitting on the stool in the kitchen as I made homemade tomato sauce, he asked for a banana (his second before 8am), my hands were full of tomato seeds/skins so I told him to take one and peel it. He said "but I don't want a dirty banana". I realized he thought the few brown spots on the skin was dirt. I explained that the banana was perfectly fine, he looked at me as if I was trying to pull a fast one. So he peeled it back and voila, he smiled and said "oh, okay...yummy"

I love MY Pickle...

I still remember the evening of Cole's birth like it was yesterday...following the hoopla of having an emergency C-section after a half-day of pushing and all the commotion of the previous hours, I lay there in recovery in the middle of the night letting the reality of his arrival sink in. The nurses had left us alone, Dave had crashed out hard on the pull out chair and was breathing deeply and Cole lay in my arms sleeping off his delivery hangover. Adrenaline still coursed through my mind and body and yet I was calm, completely content with Cole's sweet smell drifting around me. I had tried my darnedest to have a productive labor but my wee one was a week beyond his due date and hence wasn't so wee plus he had decided to turn sideways in the birth canal before becoming wedged. He was battered and bruised as a result and looked as if he had decided to fight his eviction notice. As I gazed down at his sleeping form, I began talking to him, telling him all about how we had waited for this day, how I felt from day one that he was a boy and that he had such a future of adventure ahead of him. His face was all scrunched up and prune-like so typical of a newborn. To me, he looked like a pickle. That very night, his nickname was also born.

Three and half years later, I still call him PICKLES...even his classmates at school have heard me use it. It comes out unconsciously most times. It is just our thing. As a toddler he used to actually eat pickles and make the laugh-out-loud pucker face but as he grew more picky with foods, he stopped eating them. So he will forever be my PICKLES and I will continue to use it here and there until one day when I say it and embarrass him. Then, I will have my moment and grieve over the loss of a once intimate communication and realize it is one of many things I will have to let go of over the course of his lifetime.

Flowers and Dumptrucks

Cole and I took a recent Monday morning and had an adventure at the University of Minnesota's Landscape Arboretum. We had not been there in probably two years and I forgot what an amazing place it is. The gardens and flowers and fountains, the stones, and sculptures and shady trees, oh my...acres and acres of lush plants and blooms! I absolutely love flowers and actually prefer seeing them in yards than in vases.

Anyway, I was oohhing and ahhhing my way down the various paths while Cole was checking out every possible water feature and finding rocks and steps to jump off of. I was attempting to snap pictures of him amongst the beautiful backdrop and doing close up shots of some of my favorites.

Cole turns to me after about an hour and poses the question "mommy, you love flowers, they make you happy?" I said, "yes buddy, mommy loves all these flowers, they make me happy just like you do!". He nods as if my confirmation of his thought was expected. He turns to me and goes "well, I love dumptrucks, they make me happy" and then proceeds to make the sounds of a dumptruck backing up (beep, beep, beep) as he backs himself up the stony walk. I just had to laugh out loud and agree!