Great Grandpa Roger...you will be missed

Cole was so fortunate to have been born in Washington, DC. His birthplace allowed him to be near his great grandpa Roger who lived in Maryland. Cole got to spend time with Roger several times before our move to Minnesota. We have several photos of them together. Cole was just shy of a month old in this picture taken on New Year's Eve of 2006.

Cole's middle name is Roger in honor of Dave's beloved grandfather. Roger will be sadly missed but leaves many memories for us of a wonderful man and times spent at "The Coleson Crick". Roger left a legacy behind for his great grandson and we will be sure that Cole learns much about him.

Roger "Buzz" David Coleson, 88, of Nanjemoy, MD passed away at his Home on Monday, September 15, 2008. He is predeceased by his Parents; Emmett Coleson and Florence Wendt Coleson. He is survived by his Wife; Margie M. Coleson, Son; Mark D. Coleson of Arlington, VA, Daughter; Susan Lee Coleson-Fox of Seal Rock, Oregon, Sister; Leone Reed of Minneapolis, Minnesota, and 6 Grandchildren, and 5 Great Grandchildren. Buzz Coleson was a Veteran of WWII with the United States Air Force as a Pilot and retired from the United States Air Force after 30 years of service to his Country. He was a member of the "Greatest Generation". There will be a Memorial Graveside Service for Buzz Coleson on Monday, December 1, 2008 at Arlington National Cemetery at 3 pm.

Cole's TV debut....

Months ago, I created a PBS Sprout Online account for Cole. The site has age appropriate games and video clips and is PBS affiliated so it does not have commercials or gimmicky "stuff". Cole has displayed an affinity for our computers long ago so we figured that we might as well give him his own outlet for learning how to manipulate the mouse (fine motor skills) and give us another media form to help him count, learn colors and shapes et al.

Once I created his profile, I downloaded his photo which we could utilize by putting him into the clips with the characters. He loves watching himself on screen bopping around. Obviously we had to give permission to PBS to use his picture should they choose to use his photograph and all that legal jumbo before being allowed to complete his profile.

So five months later I get an email from Sprout Online stating that Cole's pic would be used in a segment in their PICME show. Randomly chosen from thousands of kiddos, Cole made his TV debut on September 9, 2008! It was an exciting moment that I was able to capture with our video camera since we do not have a DVD player (I know, I know, many of you live by those but Dave and I were trying not to let TV dictate our lives...we may cave but thus far we have survived without it).

Anyway, it was a fun and unanticipated snippet to add to his life's adventures.

At times I worry that I am too lax with Cole, letting him experience numerous tumbles at the playground resulting in a scraped knee or fat lip from running faster than his feet can keep pace with him. He is fearless and I worry that I am fostering a toddler who won't realize his limitations. Most times though I am so in awe of his continued strength and fortitude-his ability to take the inevitable falls, say "uh-oh", bounce back up, brush his hands off and forge ahead. He is such a determined little spirit.

I think my parenting style with Cole is working well. It is constantly evolving as he walks (or runs) through life. I think if he heard a warning every five minutes or felt my anxiety every time he might fall or fail, that he may very well fall or fail because I expect him too. That would be a very big fault on my part. So my motto is confidence breeds confidence and it seems to be a success as Cole skillfully navigates his world.

So when the other moms at the park throw a look in my direction as I let Cole climb higher or run full tilt with the resulting stumble, I let him prove them all wrong, as 90% of the time he glances my way looking for reaction; he receives a smile not a frantic reproach, he gathers himself together, gets a hug and kiss and is off scurrying around in play once again, the interruption to his momementum all but forgotten.

Books, wonderful books...

The past few weeks seem to have zipped on by! How does that happen, seriously??? Summer is fading fast, the sun is setting earlier and the nights here in Minnesota are already dipping back into the 50s.

One of my goals this summer was to ditch the TV (more often) and read again! I used to devour a stack of books when I had free time. Though my free time is relegated to after Cole goes to sleep, I was determined to at least get through a few titles since my HAVE READS thus far this year have been a measly five or so and my TO READS are literally fifty plus!

I have also breathed a sigh of relief recently as Cole has taken to loving books. In previous months, Cole was not at all interested in being read to nor in turning pages. This activity required him to SIT and/or be still and SIT (and be still) are not in his list of action verbs. Even at Montessori when many of the other kids are hanging out in the circle listening to story time, my little guy is moving around the room, listening I'm sure but on his terms.

However, one fine day, when for the umpteenth time I attempted to read to him, he engaged and let me actually read the text on the pages! He now readily picks up a book from the various bins I have placed around the house for him and comes to us with the "ummm, can you read to me?" look in his eye as he holds the book out. He gets impatient if you don't comply so I do try to remember that it is important to stop what I am doing (within reason) and foster his desire to READ!

Now it is so cute to watch him excitedly finish his bath, get into his PJs and with anticipation run to the pile of books and choose a few. He then backs up into my lap (he has always done that...LOL), plops himself down and begins turning pages. I don't get to actually always read the full text since I can't keep up with his fast little fingers but I do point out objects in the illustrations which slows him down a tad.

Cole and I go to the library every week to freshen our inventory of bedtime tales. Since his books are only 8, 10, 12 pages with simple sentences it is important for my sanity to visit our branch EVERY week. Our library system is great and I have an online account where I can reserve titles (since perusing shelves with a 20 month old isn't reality). So I read a review or come across a title in a magazine and I log on and place it on my list.

As for my bedtime reading, at the end of the day I have little energy left, so I am proud of myself if I can finish a chapter or two each evening. This means that it takes me weeks to finish an average length novel but I am slowly chipping away at my reading wish list and once again enjoying the power of words.

Cleaning out emails, I came across this poem that was forwarded to me back when I was pregnant with Cole. Obviously, at the time I received it, I had no idea how it would resonate with me as I continue to grow and learn how to be a parent! Each day, I am in awe of what Cole teaches me and how I am a better person for becoming his mom.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM:

Author Unknown

Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Okay seriously...

Anyone who I talk with even occasionally knows of our continued struggle with getting an uninterrupted night's sleep. Cole has been a challenge in the overnight department from day one. It was not until almost 10 months that we managed to get him to sleep without waking during the night. That was with trying every sleep behavior method published including the dreaded CIO (cry it out). Finally, we felt giddy that he was letting us snooze until 5am. For about two weeks, that glee endured. Then he slowly inched his waking from 5am to 4:50; 4:40; 4:30...over the course of a month or so, back to 3:30...then after some time stuck there, he edged forward and gradually landed at 4:35 where his morning alarm remained for the better part of 3 months.

In February, Cole saw a sleep specialist, as we wanted to be sure that there was nothing physically wrong with him that was keeping him (and us) on a farmer's schedule (though not even farmer's get up at 3:30?). He was not a good napper either, so we were concerned about his overall sleep deficit. I diligently kept a sleep log for a month, noting daily cycles. After meeting with the specialist, we were told, fortunately, that nothing was wrong with Cole, that he was a true early bird and an older baby needing less sleep on the sleep continuum. The doc said he is very active and curious and hitting all his milestones ahead of time so that he has a lot going on in his brain. We were doing all the right things as far as structured nap times and bedtimes but that Cole was processing a great deal of data and sometimes that results in less sleep. Cole was able to self soothe and be put in his crib awake. So despite the "good news" we were back to square one hoping for that one morning where he would sleep until AFTER the sun rose. Five months later, we are still hoping.

During this past spring and thus far this summer, we are still dealing with the periodic middle of the night wakings due to teething, illness or the unknown factor. Sometimes we can coax him back to sleep and sometimes he is ready for his day to commence. Sometimes he has a stretch of days where his internal clock regresses to 4:35 or earlier. Sometimes we make it to 5:20 and we whoop and holler, like we just struck gold.

Dave and I take turns waking with him at these ungodly hours, taking him downstairs so the other can cherish another hour's sleep. Rarely, once downstairs, can we snuggle him in for just 30 minutes more of shut eye; once in a blue moon as the saying goes.

I know we will sleep 8 hours STRAIGHT again in our life time but our bodies are so primed now for our pre-dawn awakening that we both stir before he actually wakes in order to avoid the adrenaline pumping jolt his cries induce.

We both know that Cole will be the teenager who can't get out of bed and oh the joy it will bring us to barge in with our cheery "Good morning"!!

Letting Cole be Cole...

Anyone who spends any time with us knows that I have let Cole wander the road of independence since he was just a baby. He continually is reaching major motor skill milestones ahead of his textbook peers. As his mom, I hope it is in part due to the fact that I let him go and explore even though he is discovering his world at a rate way beyond MY comfort zone as a first-time parent. It would be so easy to reign in his curious streak to quell my own uneasiness and in the name of risk management however it could undermine his courage and fearlessness, traits already so tenuous at his age.

My/our ability to let Cole become aware of his own capabilities has let him acquire the confidence he utilizes in all that he embarks upon. I/we want to continue to foster that by letting him absorb life on his terms. This is not to say that his routine is without structure, boundaries, discipline and/or limitations. These fixed parameters work for us and until they don't, that is our way.

It is scary for ME to let him go at an Olympic pace at such a young age (obviously within the confines of safe activity) but so necessary and vital to his growth. He just beams when he completes something different or realizes he has mastered a new skill. He flashes me his million dollar smile with such pride in his eyes as if to say "hey mom, look at me, did you see me do that!!??" With that momentum, he races on to see what else he can conquer! It is such an awesome feeling being the mom of a toddler who is so happy with himself!

I have let him tumble at the playground and pick himself up all the while being right at his side for support; I have let him experience frustration at trying to get the wheels on his truck unstuck, ensuring he knows I am there for him as he processes his impatience; I have let him tantrum after being told we need to go inside and held out my arms for when he is ready to move on from the moment; I have made myself aware of how important it is for him to have my attention and eye contact as he seeks my recognition of whatever it is he is engaged in.

But most importantly of all, I just let Cole be Cole, as that is how it should be.

C stands for
capricious
charming
cherubic
comical
contemplative
conversational
coy
creative
curious


O stands for
obdurate
observant
opinionated
orderly
original
outgoing

L stands for
lanky
likeable
lithe
loquacious
loud
lovable
lyrical

E stands for
eager
earnest
enchanting
energetic
entertaining
enthusiastic
expressive
exuberant
extraordinary

A Cole "original"...

The past six days have been all about bodily fluids, Cole's to be specific. A nasty GI bug took over my little guy's belly and gut and shook them all up. It is the sickest I have ever seen him and the most worried I have been in a long time.
Along with the vomiting and severe diarrhea was the sheer amount of time that he slept (of course most of it during the day and NOT at night) that had us both concerned, as even as a baby he never slept more than 11 hours in a row. Hopefully after continually spiking a fever each morning he is on the upside of recovering.

And so, being needed 110% this past week has left me without much energy to write. So I am posting a scan of the first collage Cole did at school last week. It is so fun to be hanging artwork of his scribbles. I am calling them Cole "originals".

Transition is complete...

So many of you have inquired about Cole and how he is doing with his time spent at Montessori school. After our initial breakdowns the first two weeks (both Cole's and mine) we have found our new routine and thus new comfort zone. Cole loves his new friends and his teacher and assistants. We pull into the parking lot and he can see the kids on the playground and he gets all excited. Whereas a month ago, he clung to me with tears streaming down his face, he now runs full tilt towards the gate with his million dollar smile and a string of hellos. He rarely even turns back towards me after I plant a kiss on the top of his head after lifting him out of the car. His day of fun, activity and learning is ahead of him.

I so look forward to picking him up and as I pull into the lot I scan the playground for his blond locks, normally to be found pushing the big dump truck or playing in the sand. If they are inside, he is normally, no surprise here, on the MOVE-pushing, stacking, dancing...I catch his eye and he beelines for me, running into my arms, one of the best feelings in the world. He chatters away as I ask about his day, gather his backpack and his daily report and say thank you and goodbye until next time!

He is getting the exposure to do so many things and unlike play dates, the extended time spent with his peers allows him to learn from them. And it shows, as he has mastered quite a few new skills and is much more verbal being around children at his age and slightly older as they communicate together.

I have included below the class collage from his school. I put it in a plastic protector and hung it in Cole's playroom at his level. He likes to go up and point to his friends and teacher and say HI. It is the cutest thing to see him recognize them, like he is saying "hey, I know you".

Toddler trials...

Cole may run me ragged most days as he darts and dashes away beyond my comfortable distance--away from me at the playground, away from me at playgroup in the park, away from me during music class, away from me as I attempt to change his diaper--just insert location and repeat the verb. He looks over his shoulder as he runs from me with that impish grin that says "ha, ha look at me, I can go where I want too, I am Cole"!

Much like his mother, he is bored after 10 minutes in the same venue, looking for something else to experience and explore. Much like his mother, he has to MOVE all the time. Much like his mother, he likes to be in control of his actions. And so it begins, the trials of Cole's growing independence (versus my daily quota of patience).

Oh, I have read the toddler sections in numerous books which gently and not so gently warn me about the few LONG miles up the road ahead. There are sections in the library solely about parental coping mechanisms in dealing with toddlers finding their way in their fascinating but frustrating world. You have to digest what is the best route for you and navigate accordingly. However, despite having a guide or two, I need to be able to change course and adjust, all the while remaining calm and in control to give the illusion that I know exactly where I am going.

So though I think I know where I am going most days, the unexpected detours sometimes cause me to go around and around in circles. Until I can get in the right lane again, exit and be on our way, who knew how difficult and how much sheer endurance (mental and physical) it takes to follow the directions that Dave and I have chosen to follow!?

To ignore bad behaviors as long as they are attention seeking and not dangerous. I am either on the verge of laughing as he pouts and/or throws a fit OR I am vainly attempting to relax my posture and keep my voice steady as he goes limp and shrieks on the sidewalk (as our neighbors glance our way) because he does not want to go inside.

To explain why something is inappropriate, despite knowing he is young but realizing he understands way more than I thought possible. I find myself providing contradictory information to my 18 month old as I tell him not to throw his toys but seconds later I am throwing the ball (or whatever random toy) to Tucker.

To give two options when correcting inappropriate actions (obviously only one being the desired result) which enables him to choose and makes him liable for his decision. I find myself tongue tied when in a split moment's notice I am forced to think of the secondary option.

To use time outs wisely and above all else be consistent. I can feel the heat creeping up the back of my neck as I know a time out is the right thing to do in a situation but I am at someone else's home. Thus I feel the other mother's eyes upon us as I carry my twisting back-arching son to a quiet place for his one minute time to think (seem like forever for him AND me).

I realize with time that discipline will get easier (won't it?). It just seems as if I master one phase of parenting only to learn that the bar has been raised yet again. Well, I guess that is okay, I wouldn't want to be bored, sit around all day and/or not be challenged. So Cole, just be you and I'll figure out the path as we walk (or run) it!

A bit of interesting trivia for this week's post...

It has been an incredibly busy week and I have yet to find the time to draft a worthwhile post, so I will cut and paste some interesting trivia for you this week relating to Cole's birthdate.

Samichlaus, which means "Santa Claus" in Swiss German, is one of the rarest beers in the world, brewed once a year on December 6th, naturally aged before bottling, and distributed one year later. This beer was once the world's strongest lager (around 14% alcohol by volume) and has been listed in The Guinness Book of Records. Unlike other lagers, it should be stored at cellar temperatures in order to enhance its definite ale- like qualities. Creamy, soothing and gently warming, it is best served after dinner.

Switzerland is among those countries that separate the celebration of Santa Claus, and the giving of gifts, from that of Christmas itself. December 6 is Saint Nicholas' Eve, and that is when each new batch of the potent brew is made, at Zurich's Hürlimann brewery, and laid down to mature in the cold cellars. Samichlaus was first made in 1980, when Hürlimann decided to pit its super-yeast against other techniques being used to produce very strong lagers across the German border.


The cost of this famous but rare beer is 3 for $68.01, 6 for $128.88, 12 for $243.36. So maybe when Cole turns 21, we will splurge (at $22 a bottle that is a few bucks per sip) and celebrate his coming of age with some Samichlaus.