I thought I would blog about some of Cole's more recent everyday moments...they don't pack a punch or stand alone as a entry but they do make up an ordinary day and thus are more of a gift in many ways than those bigger than life moments that are more easily recorded and remembered...


The past few months as Cole has gotten more and more and more and more verbal (yes, he could talk the ear off a salesman), it has led, I believe, to his latest developmental chapter of "pretend" play...he more than entertains himself for long periods of time, chatting away to his trucks, trains, stuffed animals, bath toys...he actually loves to lay on the floor and have a dialogue with his toys and I catch myself stopping to listen to his lilting little boy voice changing tone and inflection as he switches between his "characters". In the evening after stories and lights out, I often find myself sitting outside his bedroom on the hallway stairs wishing I could capture an audio of the nighttime routine he has with his various bedtime pals as he shares snippets of his day or memories that were made with them.

He has also taken to "hiding" from us...wanting us to find him as he escapes under a blanket/towel/comforter. Cole has always found refuge from unfamiliar faces by burrowing himself under pillows or a quilt so it is natural that this behavior has evolved into something of a game now! I think he just loves to POP out and try to scare us and the smile on his face makes the sometimes tiresome pursuit worth it in the end.

He sometimes takes my IPHONE, or a book and his little flashlight and creates a pup tent for himself. I enter the room to find the shape of a little ghost contentedly reading or playing games on the couch under his blanket. He has always been one to cover his face with a blanket when trying to go to sleep, which of course has always freaked me out. I would let him begin to nod off and then have to extricate the blanket gently tugging it safely from his head. To this day, he still does the same thing. Not but 15 minutes ago as he began his nap did I have to re-position his beloved blue blanket.

Cole has a lot of my stubborn independence which is a blessing and a curse. He wants to do much for himself which I give him kudos for, however that can and does drive me nuts. Everytime we get into the car, he wants to match up and snap the top latch on his carseat. His fine motor skills are put to use lining up the "puzzle pieces". When I am not in a rush, I can typically start the car, put the groceries in the back, and so forth but in a downpour or when we are late for something I just want to GO. Cole doesn't flip out about much but if I even attempt to manage this task for him, oh boy...same goes for shutting off the bathwater, getting "his" books off the reserve shelf at the library and getting soap to wash his hands (even when he can't reach it at a restaurant or store bathroom.)

There are so many little ordinary moments that fill in our days; I know these mini adventures tell their own tale and probably define who we are the most. I am most sure that these understated bits in a day are the ones I will miss most of all as Cole continues to change and find his way in this world.

Fine Art By Cole...

For most of the past two years or so, Cole's artwork strokes and scribbles mimicked the splatter like effect of Jackson Pollock.

Though in past months Cole has graduated to using more controlled and fine motor skills and thus his masterpieces have evolved as well. His shapes are more defined though maintain a visual subjectivity. His repetitive inclination gives his canvases a more realistic pattern although a skewed perspective. Thus I would now equate his artistic style as being more Picasso(esque).

He thoroughly enjoys a fresh blank page and often pauses before putting crayon/marker/paint to paper. Cole then in a frenzy colors and creates his vision and excitedly beckons Dave or I to "come and see what I did"

I have framed some of his earlier works for my home office, his bedroom and playroom while his more recent renderings can be found for all to see on our refrigerator where he likes to hang them then sit on the floor and turn them around to view them from different angles.

The "piece" I have include here reminds me of a pirate alien (or ghastly ghoul) with freckles and braces.

Cole's Quips

I keep a legal pad next to my work notebook so I can jot things down as I think of them throughout the day. I have a column for things of a personal nature, household to-do's, things to find out/research and an area dedicated to Cole "stuff".

There was a time when I could make a mental list, add and subtract from it, itemize, organize and prioritize it all within the confines of my head but alas, three plus years of interrupted sleep almost every night has taken its toll and the old noggin doesn't operate as it once did.

Anyway, I also keep a running tally of the entertaining, fascinating, witty and poetic things that Cole does and says these days. If I don't, the precious memory of the laugh or sigh they cause will indeed fade as if they never occurred so their documentation I have made a MUST. I am rarely at a loss as to what to BLOG about but now I have so many Cole "isms" that they far surpass my ability (or time) to write individual blog posts about each one. So I will share some of the shorter, less in need of an explanation Cole quips that have escaped his lips as of late.

Quote #1

Bedtime is always full of laughs and snuggles, we have always read numerous books before lights out, although NOW, Cole has begun reading to us, turning the pages, telling the story he sees (or remembers) which is a delightful change. For the past 42 months, I have without fail said to him "SWEET DREAMS, NIGHT NIGHT, I LOVE YOU" and given him a kiss. One night several weeks back, in a sleepy state, along with his reply of "I LOVE YOU TOO MOMMY", he softly says "SWEET NIGHT NIGHTS" and gives me the most innocent angelic smile. He has said that ever since, it is now our new way of ending the day.

Quote #2

Spring arrived much earlier than usual this year and we actually had a string of 90 degree days so we had to pull out the sprinkler to stay cool and help water our budding plants. Our neighbor has a sprinkler that works on a timer and is the old fashioned kind that makes the "JJJJTTTTZZZZ" sound as it makes its way back and forth across the lawn. Cole loves to watch and listen to it from our front door. One evening as he stood there for the better part of 10 minutes (anyone who knows Cole knows that not much can hold him in one place for more than 5), he turns to me as I worked on my computer and says "look mommy, Jesse's sprinkler is going in an ARC". As usual, I racked my brain trying to figure out where the heck he heard that term and dumbfounded that he used it in context. He floors us weekly with his growing vocabulary and direct use of it.

Quote #3

Cole loves to go to the mall. Obviously NOT to shop but to play at the indoor recreation area. Those who have cold winters know that these are grand to have to avoid cabin fever (or rainy days in the summertime). Obviously I won't just go to the mall without running an errand or two, and Cole knows the drill. We stop and find mommy "fill in the blank" when we first get there, then we go play, then we run the second errand, we then finish up by getting a soft pretzel then sitting in the atrium watching all the people walk by. The last time we made a trip to the mall, I had something to return which I did relatively quickly. Cole was anxious to get to the play area as he considered that return my "first" mommy errand. As we walked from Macy's towards the inner mall area, I kept glancing at racks looking for that always elusive perfect (insert shirt/dress/pair of jeans). Cole was getting annoyed at my slow pace and finally blurted out "mommy, don't find anything, it is my turn". I could only sigh and agree with him.

Houston, We Have a Problem...

A few months back I started a weekly ritual with Cole, Friday lunch out, just me and him. He has always LOVED eating out at restaurants and while his attention span for his first few years barely gave Dave and I a chance to actually savor a full meal (more like inhale it), it was nice for all of us to experience dining out on occasion. Now that Cole is old enough to sit and eat for at least most of his meal, it has become enjoyable to take him places. He still eats like a bird so I limit our lunches to places I know offer Mac-n-Cheese, Buttered Noodles or Grilled Cheese; in time I hope to branch out and expand beyond Perkins, Noodles and Co. and TGIFs.

So our Friday agenda typically is a relaxed morning, no rushing around trying to get out the door to beat the rush hour traffic on the way to Montessori. He knows that it is the start to his four day weekend (Mondays and Fridays he is home with me). We play, watch some Noggin, make cookies...then we head out to run errands. In the wintertime I can leave groceries in the car which is great because Minnesota is a meat locker from November-March. In the summertime, I plan errands differently, hitting Target or Byerleys after school instead and leaving none perishable errands to Friday mornings.

Okay, enough of the backstory. So today we found ourselves eating at Perkins. He knows the building as we pull off Route 7. Now some places offer 4 crayons with their kiddy placemat/menu, some a trio but at Perkins we sadly just get 2 in a packet (though we do get a big cookie with his meal which in my opinion makes up for the wimpy crayon offering). We place our orders and he has me open up the cellophane on the crayons.

I wait for him as we usually play "find the letter" on the "find a word" grid. He looks up at me with this tight lipped expression of annoyance and goes "we have a problem". I swear those words were spoken EXACTLY like an adult in tone/inflection. He proceeds to hold up the yellow crayon which shouldn't have passed quality control. The paper wrapping had adhered to high and was covering most of the point of the crayon. He looked at me as if to say "this is useless!". I hesitated at first because I didn't want to rip the paper from around the top if that was going to upset him and start a meltdown, so I asked him if he wanted me to fix it. He sighed (I swear) and said "ooookkkayy"...in a way that said "do I have a choice really?" So I tore at the paper and he happily began to color and write his name. I sat there still pondering his "we have a problem". Where do they learn this stuff? :-)

No, I just like milk and water...

Dave has been gone for six days helping his Grammie move from "The Crick" in Maryland to her new home in Colorado. He helped his sister and mom pack things up and then he drove two 16 hour days with a full Penske truck and Margie's car on the carrier. They (both of his sister's live in CO) unloaded quickly and helped to set Margie up in her new space, Dave then spent a night at his sister Kelley's house and flew home today in time for the Twins Game (free booze and food c/o Colle & McVoy which he did NOT want to miss out on).

Cole, Tucker and I picked him up at baggage claim. Cole had been quite melancholy the longer Dave was absent. He is used to his daddy traveling a great deal for work but never for six days straight. We excitedly (well, Tucker and I since Cole fell asleep on the drive to the airport) greeted Dave who had sprouted a beard during his travels.

We came home and Cole immediately wanted to play trucks and wrestle around with his daddy. As Cole followed him into the kitchen Dave asked him whether he liked his beard to which Cole replied "No, I just like milk and water, I don't drink juice or beer, that is so silly, just daddies drink beer and mommies drink juice (I call my wine "mommy juice""...obviously thinking Dave said BEER not BEARD...we had a good laugh and I was delighted to see Cole so receptive to Dave considering this morning, he said to me "Daddy still isn't home, he has been gone a long time and that makes me sad". He then got quite indifferent when I mentioned we were going to pick up Dave a few hours later. Luckily in the world of a three and a half year old, you don't need to explain much why you've been gone, all that matters is that you have returned!

My little writer...

He might not be potty trained like 90% of his peers but Cole has always strayed from the "normal" range of activity/development for his age group and done his own thing his own way (hmmm, sound like anyone else you might know??)...so although he still proudly wears his PULLUPS, he can write his name without assistance and I am awed by that considering he isn't even 3.5 years! I am glad he has a short name to tackle though he tells me the "e" is "tricky". He has been tracing words and his name at school and home for a few months now and voila, one day I pick up his work from his cubby and there his name is scrawled in free hand with a star and note from his teacher! So I had him sign all his grandmother/great grandmother cards this year which he loved. It simply amazes me how a child's brain learns these functions and all that he has come to be able to master in a short 42 months!

Yeah...now I can BRMMM again...

Cole is rough on his toys and they obviously have not been through as strict of quality control as the packages say they have because in reality, three year old boys drop, push, squeeze, pull, and bang their toys over and over and over; so when a tire pops off a new toy soon after it has been removed from the plastic tomb it came in you know you are in for irritatingly repetitive requests to fix the aforementioned wheel. I can't tell you how many times this has occurred and annoyingly no matter what the price point is, this has happened to various wheels of many of his beloved trucks/cars.

Superglue works wonders on anything you DON'T want to move again, but the pickle comes in when I need to find a fix for one of the many darn wheels, because if the tire doesn't work, Cole becomes distraught because of course, said with a whine that probably makes Tucker wince since it makes me cringe, "I can't BRMMMM it with only three wheels".

I try to address the repair if I know it simply needs a quick snap back into place but sometimes I have to go get tools and if I am in the middle of something else, I don't want him to get accustomed to having his demands met right away, nor stop whatever household task is so vital at that exact moment, so I tell him he has to wait and to go find something else to play with. I have about a 15% success rate with that attempt at redirection. So the other 85% of the time, probably with a sigh or a look on my face showing my exasperation, I trudge off to Dave's workbench scrounging to find the proper miniature set of pliers or the like.

Cole follows me around watching me work my mommy magic and with such joy on his face he lights up the room with his smile as I hand back the temporarily mended vehicle. "Yeah, I can BRMMM now". The last time I made this fix, I obviously made apparent that I was inconvenienced... as he trotted off with his newly repaired (for the 84th time) truck, I saw him detour into his playroom, heard him shuffling around (I was back to folding laundry)...he comes out and says "Here Mom, I have something for you". With that, he grabs my hand and puts a star sticker on it proclaiming "you fixed my truck because it had a flat tire and you made it BRMM again."

**SIGH** in that OMG manner; once again another lesson learned from my son about what truly matters...

The rain is racing...

Since we got back from California two weeks ago, Cole has asked to take his nap in our bed. He sleeps fine at night in his bed but I think it was fun for him to be in our big bed while we were on vacation staying in hotels. He has also come into our room early in the morning (4am or so) for as long as I can remember and snuggled up with the two of us, sometimes three if Tucker is there for another hour or so.

Anyway, he ambles up into our bed throwing my decorative pillows to and fro, making room for himself to curl up under the covers with his blue blanket. I normally lay with him until he settles in, it is our mommy and Cole quiet time. I love watching his eyes gradually get heavy, his little mind trying hard to fight the sleep, his feet kicking and moving around as well in an attempt to find a resting place.

He typically whines about taking a nap but being an early riser and an active little boy, he needs the nap, no qualms about it. Believe me, on the few times where a nap has not been mandated, 4-7pm is a war zone around here.

The other day as he lay nestled up against me, his gaze was drawn to the skylights above our bed. Our roof is at a steep angle to better shed the winter snow we get here so the skylights slant deeply as well. It was raining hard, the skies gray and gloomy, setting the best kind of mood for a lazy warm nap. Even I contemplated just zonking out with him. He had been quiet for awhile but his eyes remained open so I knew he wasn't ready quite yet. Very softly, he goes "Mommy, look, the rain is racing"! Sure enough as I looked upward towards the skylight, the rain was beading at the top of the window and the rivulets were racing in streaks downward, like cars drag racing. I said "your right Cole, the rain IS racing, that is a very good observation". He goes "yep, that is what I see"

My heart skipped a beat and my eyes teared up, it was like hearing poetry from a three year old, his analogy touching me with its sheer innocence. It made me see the falling rain against the skylight from a whole new perspective. It was a moment I won't soon forget.

I know some day...

I know some day, this house will be a PULL UP free zone...some day...

At almost 3.5 Cole still isn't potty trained. He isn't remotely interested. His Montessori teachers ask him to try every day and I have attempted to get him interested using everything from cheerios in the toilet to crossing streams with his daddy. Nope, still not interested. I have blogged before about researching possible methods to use with him but he is just not interested PERIOD! When he becomes frustrated at learning any OTHER skill, we gently prod him to try and try again with lots of hoopla when he does succeed. When we even bring up the subject of peeing on the potty he contorts his face as if we have asked him to eat snails and says, "it's too hard". If we push him to try, he fights us tooth and nail all the way to the bathroom and just stands there. Power of the wills, probably. A game, I don't want to make it that with him, he is too smart already. I need him to think he is the one in charge. Believe me, I know the type.

So what is a mom to do other than back off seeing that 75% of what I read says don't push the wrong buttons or it will take even longer? I know someday he'll amaze me by walking into the bathroom, closing the door, he'll pee, he'll flush, he'll wash his hands, he'll come back out and say matter of factly, "see mom, I went potty" with an impish grin on his face. So I just take solace in knowing that some day it WILL happen...

An "engine" of a different kind...

We just spent four days in California, a much needed getaway for the three of us. It was Cole's first visit to the City by the Bay and we got to share some of our favorite places with him. He is a wonderful traveler!

Two days we spent down in beautiful coastal Monterrey as Dave ran his second Big Sur Marathon. Enjoying the scenery at Asilomar State Beach just a few miles up the road from the famous 17 Mile Drive we found ourselves walking through tidal pools in the chilly Pacific Ocean. We were in awe of the fantastic and breath taking seascape, with spring flowers dotting every rock/crevice.

Dave and I enjoyed a bottle of wine to celebrate his 26.2 finish as Cole ran back and forth, to and fro, around and around as usual. He is very much into pretend play and loves to create racetracks with bridges and crossings. He stops to get tire changes, fill up with gas and recover from crashes. He plays up the sound effects well with his BROOOMM BROOOMMs and his VROOM VROOMs. He raced around loving being barefoot, purposely "spinning" out and landing into the soft sand.

At one point Dave asked him as he changed Cole's tires (his feet) whether he needed an engine tuneup. Cole pointed at his penis and said "no my engine is fine". Dave and I laughed solid for the better part of five minutes. It was one of the highlights of our trip along with our views of the Golden Gate Bridge, the waves and black stones at Rodeo Beach, the 360 degree panorama of the entire city from Alta Vista Park in Pacific Heights, our belly laughs at Ed's analogies on our quick overnight with the Kawashiris and in general our time spent together as a family in the city where Dave and I left our hearts in 2003!

What's Gonna Work....

In all disclosure, Cole watches more TV than I like. It is the reality of my world that I use it as a babysitter of sorts in order to prep/make dinner, to reply to emails, to manage my PT work, to take a shower in peace or to attempt to read the newspaper.

Don't think badly of me as when I say he watches too much TV it is my guilt that trips me up more than the actual amount of TV time itself. In comparison to many three years old I know, he doesn't watch nearly as much TV as his peers. Cole gets more one on one attention from me most days than I have energy for (hence many times I collapse into bed when he does); we have picnics (real and imaginative), we play trucks, we race cars, we color, we go to the playground, we walk Tucker in the woods, we get messy in the sandbox, we go to the library every Tuesday, we "do" lunch out together on Fridays...our days are relatively unstructured in a sense so that he can just be a boy experiencing his world at his pace...we have playdates and run errands and did a lot of music/art/gymboree type classes when he was younger but as he has gotten older, I want him to use his imagination and explore what is right under his nose.

That said, I really shouldn't feel the shame that I do when he does watch TV. We only allow him to view commercial free Noggin (now Nick Jr.) or PBS Kids or select DVDs. He can count to ten in Spanish (c/o of Dora the Explorer), he can say Hello, Sun and Goodbye in Chinese (thanks to Ni How Kai Lan), he dances and bops (with the Yo Gabba Gabba crew), he loves to see Max get himself into a pickle on Max & Ruby and he has most importantly learned the concept of teamwork from the Wonder Pets. He knew their jingle as early back as I can remember but the past several months has used the term or its likeness in context repeatedly.

I try to include him as best I can when I do tasks since he loves to say "I'm a good helper" after assisting me. He helps me clean, bake, sweep outside, make the beds...he loves to just feel the need to be a part of it all. I adore that about him. So eager and willing and upbeat about what would typically be to me just a mundane task. On the occasion where he cannot participate with me, his face falls and he mutters "but I want to be a team". It is so difficult to explain to him the complexities of life and how some things need to be accomplished solo. I know disappointment is just as much a learning tool as success but nonetheless his enthusiastic approach to teamwork is certainly something to foster.

I know the day will come (and probably before I will ever be ready) where he won't want to hang out and play with me as it will be uncool. I'll have to beg him to help me with anything domestic in nature and he'll make it known that I should be invisible. That is what happens as they learn about their independence. I hope he always wants me around but reality is what it is. Anyway, I digress...

For now and as long as he subscribes to his "we are a team" mentality, I will cheer him on and give him as many opportunities as I can to make him feel like Winnie, Tuck or Ming Ming...a very vital part of our TEAM!

Stubborn as a Mule ( like his Mom)...

Cole has been bribed, coaxed, wooed, cajoled, lured, and urged amongst other things in a vain attempt to become potty trained. Unfortunately he has my stubborn streak and hence, despite trains, candy, stickers and race cars beckoning him from the bathroom shelf he has zero, nada, zilch, diddly squat interest in breaking free of diapers/PullUps.

He gets physically distressed if you try to leave them off...he refuses to wear big boy underwear unless it is over a diaper/PullUp and though he freely lets the stream flow in the bathtub, he exhibits extreme anxiety when we try to nudge him to use the toilet. Every few months since he was about two years old, I tackled the venture of potty training for a few days at a time but I also know that it is one of the major milestones that I cannot dictate to him and when he pushes back vehemently I know to back off. He has to want to do it comfortably for it to be a success. It has been probably the most frustrating thing about being a parent (with the exception of four months of colic) that I have experienced with him. I am tired of keeping diapers/Pullups and wipes stocked. I fear since he is so tall for his age that soon the largest size of those won't fit him anymore. I am tired of carrying around a changing pad. I am done with stinky trash.

I have been incredibly lucky that his preschool is of the mindset that kids master the potty at different rates and even his teacher acknowledges with a laugh that "Cole does NOT want to use the potty, he makes that quite clear every hour we make him try"!

I know he will eventually ditch the last vestige of his baby/toddler days and it is his way of telling us he isn't ready to become a full fledged little boy and who can really blame him?