As 2008 comes to a close I can't help but be amazed as I peruse my journal from this past year. Since Cole's birth, I have kept bi-weekly observations about him, his growth, milestones, behaviors and emerging personality & character quirks in a special notebook. It has been important to me (much like my reason for maintaining this BLOG) to capture in print (or cyberprint) the everyday moments that so easily slip from my memory as weeks meld into one another. I wanted to be sure to honor who he was as an infant and a young toddler as I know I will not remember the little things five years from now that Dave and I currently find so fascinating about our lil guy.
Some of my remarks make me laugh out loud as they bring instant recall such as "has a staccato laugh, he sounds like a dolphin" (13 months); "babbles with what seems to be an European inflection in his voice, nods his head as he speaks" (14 months); "prefers to walk backwards and back into your lap" (14 months); "sits on bottom step of stairs and seems to ponder" (15 months); "mountain goat as a nickname is most fitting at this time" (15 months); "blows spittle and sucks it back in and laughs" (16 months); "Houdini has figured out how to undo the safety latches" (17 months); "future racecar driver as he LOVES to sit in the JEEP (while parked in the garage) and "drive" (17 months); "saying "TRUCK" repeatedly for anything with wheels" (18 months); "scared of thunder, the bathroom exhaust fan and Tucker's barking" (19 months); "puts paper of any kind in the toilet and flushes" (20 months); "finally enjoying books" (20 months); "broke his arm at Montessori, what an ordeal" (21 months); "made his TV debut on the PIC ME show on Noggin" (21 months); "using 2-3 word sentences with conviction despite the fact that we don't have a clue as to what he is saying" (22 months); "moved to big boy bed, so sad to see crib go" (22 months); "excitedly states "I DID IT" when he completes something" (23 months; "loves to give kisses and has become a snuggler as never before (23 months); "has mastered opening the refrigerator door" (24 months); "talking in slang already spouting out "YEP" (24 months)
I used words such as spirited, fearless, curious, and determined again and again as I read through my notations, words that consistently continue to define him as he enters his third year!
As Cole takes on bolder and more adventurous endeavors on his whirlwind tour of life, the realm of possibilities are endless as he leads us down his own path. Who knows what 2009 holds for him (and us) but I will make sure to continue to document his journey so that one day he will have a time stamp and first hand account of his life seen through his mother's eyes.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
The greatest gift...
"Life's greatest gift is the complicated, maddening, rewarding and delicious involvement we have with those we dearly love"--Susan Cheever in "As Good As I Could Be"
As I rush around in the days before our road trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas I keep thinking back to the above quote. It is such a true statement that experiencing the intense relationships of our lives is the supreme gift that we should all be grateful for.
Raising Cole has reminded me to appreciate a person for they are. He is his own little person full of independence, drive and desire. When I get frustrated with his behavior, I have to remember that he is finding out about himself every day of every waking hour. I have to sometimes step back and respect that gigantic undertaking more than I do.
Our jobs as parents is not to tell them how to behave but to guide them and show them how to interact with themselves, others and the environment. Taking an extra moment to accept who they are becoming, helping them to process their emotions and forge ahead is vital to their future self awareness. It is so easy to wish the tantrum away, beg for them to act differently or get angry at their seemingly defiant ways but normally these acute reactions can be diffused with a quiet place, an offered hug or an acknowledgment that validates their confusion/frustration/resentment. The exact treatment we as adults request when having a tough go of it.
Cole is Cole and I would never want to be a part of making him be somebody other than himself!
As I rush around in the days before our road trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas I keep thinking back to the above quote. It is such a true statement that experiencing the intense relationships of our lives is the supreme gift that we should all be grateful for.
Raising Cole has reminded me to appreciate a person for they are. He is his own little person full of independence, drive and desire. When I get frustrated with his behavior, I have to remember that he is finding out about himself every day of every waking hour. I have to sometimes step back and respect that gigantic undertaking more than I do.
Our jobs as parents is not to tell them how to behave but to guide them and show them how to interact with themselves, others and the environment. Taking an extra moment to accept who they are becoming, helping them to process their emotions and forge ahead is vital to their future self awareness. It is so easy to wish the tantrum away, beg for them to act differently or get angry at their seemingly defiant ways but normally these acute reactions can be diffused with a quiet place, an offered hug or an acknowledgment that validates their confusion/frustration/resentment. The exact treatment we as adults request when having a tough go of it.
Cole is Cole and I would never want to be a part of making him be somebody other than himself!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Who knew...
Who knew that something as seemingly innocuous as a graham cracker or pretzel breaking into two parts could send Cole into apoplexy?
Who knew that Cole instantly begins to fret if I let him open the door in the freezer section of SuperTarget but do not let him close the door as well?
Who knew that attempting to take Cole's hat off or remove his shoes if he isn't ready (whatever that means on any given day) could send him skyrocketing into orbit?
Who knew that dropping his red car into the snow was a cardinal sin (prompting a screech high on the octave meter) but dropping the same red car into a muddy puddle elicits no reaction at all?
Who knew that my son could be so fascinated with trucks that it is his first word upon waking and his last word before snuggling in for the night (along with the 479 other times during the day that the word is uttered)?
Who knew that my two year old could be more entertaining than any comedian just by babbling away in toddler speak whilst putting his daddy's boots on backwards on opposing feet with his hat askew and flashing his million dollar smile?
Who knew that I could still experience pure joy as a jaded adult just by watching my little boy's life from the sidelines?
Who knew that Cole instantly begins to fret if I let him open the door in the freezer section of SuperTarget but do not let him close the door as well?
Who knew that attempting to take Cole's hat off or remove his shoes if he isn't ready (whatever that means on any given day) could send him skyrocketing into orbit?
Who knew that dropping his red car into the snow was a cardinal sin (prompting a screech high on the octave meter) but dropping the same red car into a muddy puddle elicits no reaction at all?
Who knew that my son could be so fascinated with trucks that it is his first word upon waking and his last word before snuggling in for the night (along with the 479 other times during the day that the word is uttered)?
Who knew that my two year old could be more entertaining than any comedian just by babbling away in toddler speak whilst putting his daddy's boots on backwards on opposing feet with his hat askew and flashing his million dollar smile?
Who knew that I could still experience pure joy as a jaded adult just by watching my little boy's life from the sidelines?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Unspoken tasks...
Fill every pocket of every jacket with tissues b/c the day I don't will be the day Cole's nose runs like a faucet and I'm forced to use my own sleeve or hand.
Fill humidifier daily to keep Cole's room like the air in Florida; soak and scrub out mineral deposits for its 18 parts weekly.
Empty nursery trash when the stink becomes offensive which to this bloodhound mom means often (along with all the other trashcans in the house)
Change Cole's big boy bed sheets which are on a mattress on the floor in the corner which requires yoga flexibility to complete and wash along with numerous blankies and snotty monkey weekly (along with all other household bedding and towels)
Keep inventory and stock all Cole's toiletry essentials (this means diapers, wipes, Tylenol, Motrin, handi-wipes, toddler toothpaste, tissues, butt paste, eczema cream, bubble bath; this is in addition to all the general household toiltries including making sure there is toilet paper, paper towels, napkins where they need to be at all times.
Keep Cole's diaper bag filled with requisite supplies (besides most of the aforementioned essentials diaper bag musts also include change of clothes, bags for dirty whatever and toys/cars to distract during meltdowns)
Maintain stocked refrigerator with already prepared sippy cups full of water and milk (mixed white with chocolate of course) for when the prince beckons that he is thirsty! (this again saves those precious 30 seconds that it normally would take me to fill a cup from having to listen to the WHINE).
Maintain stocked pantry with favorite (and mostly healthy)snacks and meals. Since Cole confounds me by eating well one week and not the next, I am always balancing what I have in the cabinets (this is in addition to the general household grocery shopping). Thank goodness Costco carries organic products now!!
Prepare meals knowing what his likes and dislikes are for that day/week; know how toasted he likes his waffles/bagels; how warm he likes his mac and cheese; how much he prefers cream cheese over jam; his fondness for soft pretzels, fruit popsicles and scrambled eggs
Order and have on hand extra soft plastic lids for Cole's sippy cups (since he has become fond of poking holes in them or dabbing the cups upside down on any surface to get the liquid out as a form of entertainment). He currently refuses to drink out of a hard spouted cup.
Wipe down all surfaces of the house that seem to acquire handprints (let along paw prints) and spilled "whatever". This is an ongoing and frustrating task along with cleaning the rest of the house which constantly looks as if I haven't cleaned at all.
Vaccuum out the car seat, stroller, couch (in and under)and steam clean the carpet often. Need I say more about this?
Sweep and mop the tile and hardwood floors as necessary (aka ALL THE FREAKING TIME) as Cole (and Tucker) seem to leave a trail of fluids and sticky messes wherever they go which I then step in.
Store all necessary pediatric numbers/addresses, insurance group and policy numbers, social security numbers and appointment reminders using what I have left for a brain (as well as in my phone/wallet)
Reserve books from library weekly (so we have a stack all ready for us) because after perusing the shelves ourselves for 8 minutes and making a mess of their orderly system, Cole shifts into manic mode, his outdoor voice is frowned upon and we must make a hasty exit.
Arrange playdates, host playdates, sign up for _______ (art, music, tumble) classes, bundle up and venture out for a walk at the nature preserve, park, trails, find fun places to go (museum, rec center, seasonal specific fairs).
Organize Cole's clothes, label Cole's clothes, shoes, jackets, hats et al (per Montessori policy), wash Cole's clothes (including remembering what has stains), buy Cole's clothes, and find Cole's clothes (missing gloves, socks, shoes); ensure he has clothes to grow into since he gains an inch every other week it seems.
Clean up Cole's playroom and the rest of the house where toys migrate; search for missing puzzle pieces, car wheels, and blocks; tape book pages together; replace batteries; change up baskets of toys and books from room to room so that he finds "new" things all over again;
Be alert at all times, constantly monitoring his activities and location...knowing what kiddo is up to even when you can't see him. Knowing his weak spots to avoid public tantrums; knowing his likes and dislikes on all levels; realizing that fine window of time for getting him down for a nap; gauging his unpredictable mood to plan the day; letting Cole be Cole but with boundaries that makes us both relatively comfortable.
Be able to contort myself to reach the toy (truck) he drops from his car seat for the umpteenth time while driving 60mph to avoid the inevitable screeching that will ensue otherwise.
Be able to sing verses of any and all children's songs/lullabies and be willing to sing them anywhere and in front of anyone to avoid nuclear reactions as for Cole, singing is an almost instant pacifier.
Be strong enough to discipline Cole in public for bad behavior to solidify that bad behavior isn't acceptable no matter our locale. This is one of the most difficult responsibilities.
Be able to read and reread Cole's favorite book (about TRUCKS of course) after the 50th, 100th, 250th time and still maintain a silly, positive voice!
Be able to just laugh once I get Cole into 3 layers of clothes, his snowpants, jacket, gloves, hat and snowboots only to have him take a crap with a smile on his face.
Fill humidifier daily to keep Cole's room like the air in Florida; soak and scrub out mineral deposits for its 18 parts weekly.
Empty nursery trash when the stink becomes offensive which to this bloodhound mom means often (along with all the other trashcans in the house)
Change Cole's big boy bed sheets which are on a mattress on the floor in the corner which requires yoga flexibility to complete and wash along with numerous blankies and snotty monkey weekly (along with all other household bedding and towels)
Keep inventory and stock all Cole's toiletry essentials (this means diapers, wipes, Tylenol, Motrin, handi-wipes, toddler toothpaste, tissues, butt paste, eczema cream, bubble bath; this is in addition to all the general household toiltries including making sure there is toilet paper, paper towels, napkins where they need to be at all times.
Keep Cole's diaper bag filled with requisite supplies (besides most of the aforementioned essentials diaper bag musts also include change of clothes, bags for dirty whatever and toys/cars to distract during meltdowns)
Maintain stocked refrigerator with already prepared sippy cups full of water and milk (mixed white with chocolate of course) for when the prince beckons that he is thirsty! (this again saves those precious 30 seconds that it normally would take me to fill a cup from having to listen to the WHINE).
Maintain stocked pantry with favorite (and mostly healthy)snacks and meals. Since Cole confounds me by eating well one week and not the next, I am always balancing what I have in the cabinets (this is in addition to the general household grocery shopping). Thank goodness Costco carries organic products now!!
Prepare meals knowing what his likes and dislikes are for that day/week; know how toasted he likes his waffles/bagels; how warm he likes his mac and cheese; how much he prefers cream cheese over jam; his fondness for soft pretzels, fruit popsicles and scrambled eggs
Order and have on hand extra soft plastic lids for Cole's sippy cups (since he has become fond of poking holes in them or dabbing the cups upside down on any surface to get the liquid out as a form of entertainment). He currently refuses to drink out of a hard spouted cup.
Wipe down all surfaces of the house that seem to acquire handprints (let along paw prints) and spilled "whatever". This is an ongoing and frustrating task along with cleaning the rest of the house which constantly looks as if I haven't cleaned at all.
Vaccuum out the car seat, stroller, couch (in and under)and steam clean the carpet often. Need I say more about this?
Sweep and mop the tile and hardwood floors as necessary (aka ALL THE FREAKING TIME) as Cole (and Tucker) seem to leave a trail of fluids and sticky messes wherever they go which I then step in.
Store all necessary pediatric numbers/addresses, insurance group and policy numbers, social security numbers and appointment reminders using what I have left for a brain (as well as in my phone/wallet)
Reserve books from library weekly (so we have a stack all ready for us) because after perusing the shelves ourselves for 8 minutes and making a mess of their orderly system, Cole shifts into manic mode, his outdoor voice is frowned upon and we must make a hasty exit.
Arrange playdates, host playdates, sign up for _______ (art, music, tumble) classes, bundle up and venture out for a walk at the nature preserve, park, trails, find fun places to go (museum, rec center, seasonal specific fairs).
Organize Cole's clothes, label Cole's clothes, shoes, jackets, hats et al (per Montessori policy), wash Cole's clothes (including remembering what has stains), buy Cole's clothes, and find Cole's clothes (missing gloves, socks, shoes); ensure he has clothes to grow into since he gains an inch every other week it seems.
Clean up Cole's playroom and the rest of the house where toys migrate; search for missing puzzle pieces, car wheels, and blocks; tape book pages together; replace batteries; change up baskets of toys and books from room to room so that he finds "new" things all over again;
Be alert at all times, constantly monitoring his activities and location...knowing what kiddo is up to even when you can't see him. Knowing his weak spots to avoid public tantrums; knowing his likes and dislikes on all levels; realizing that fine window of time for getting him down for a nap; gauging his unpredictable mood to plan the day; letting Cole be Cole but with boundaries that makes us both relatively comfortable.
Be able to contort myself to reach the toy (truck) he drops from his car seat for the umpteenth time while driving 60mph to avoid the inevitable screeching that will ensue otherwise.
Be able to sing verses of any and all children's songs/lullabies and be willing to sing them anywhere and in front of anyone to avoid nuclear reactions as for Cole, singing is an almost instant pacifier.
Be strong enough to discipline Cole in public for bad behavior to solidify that bad behavior isn't acceptable no matter our locale. This is one of the most difficult responsibilities.
Be able to read and reread Cole's favorite book (about TRUCKS of course) after the 50th, 100th, 250th time and still maintain a silly, positive voice!
Be able to just laugh once I get Cole into 3 layers of clothes, his snowpants, jacket, gloves, hat and snowboots only to have him take a crap with a smile on his face.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Though no one has ever dared to actually ask me the question posed below which is from Carolyn Hax's "Tell me About It" column in the Washington Post, when I read it I immediately felt the urge to post it here as validation (to whom, I guess myself mostly). But this is for any other eyes reading my BLOG who have felt the unstated pressure one feels to explain what one does as a stay at home mom.
Best friend has child: Her exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc.
Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...
OK. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy - not a bad thing at all - but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and with-out kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
Answer:
Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short term relief at everyone's long term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy.
Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
Best friend has child: Her exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc.
Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group ...
OK. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners ... I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy - not a bad thing at all - but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and with-out kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
Answer:
Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short term relief at everyone's long term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything - language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy.
Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Cheers!
It would be obvious to say that I have lots to be thankful for this Thanksgiving 2008. This evening I found myself surrounded by my loving husband, some new fabulous friends, their son and my little light Cole. It certainly should not take a holiday for one to take pause and reflect on all that is good in one's life but it was a reminder nonetheless to do exactly that.
I truly appreciate my wonderful reality, continuing to learn and grow as a parent this past year brings into perspective what I am grateful for in a more authentic way more and more.
I acknowledge how lucky I am to walk this maze of motherhood and I cannot express my gratitude enough that I have been given this path to travel. It is my hope to not let another year go by without respecting more often all that I have been blessed with.
I truly appreciate my wonderful reality, continuing to learn and grow as a parent this past year brings into perspective what I am grateful for in a more authentic way more and more.
I acknowledge how lucky I am to walk this maze of motherhood and I cannot express my gratitude enough that I have been given this path to travel. It is my hope to not let another year go by without respecting more often all that I have been blessed with.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
What it's all about...
I began this BLOG just over a year ago. Initially, I wanted to attempt to keep my love of writing alive despite feeling that many of my brain cells had been hijacked since becoming a mother. I desired to create a personal goal for myself beyond my duties as a new parent. Being a stay at home mom, I report to no one (though I think my 2 year old now thinks he is in charge) and though I thought I wouldn't miss the critique of colleagues surprisingly I do. Aside from a paycheck, working kept my mind acute and with motivation to continue to grow. Now I am my own boss running the show, something that has been much more difficult than I ever imagined.
I thought it would be ambitious for me to produce a weekly post (it was and is) despite having tons of material. What I have found over the past 13 months of posting to my BLOG is that I do LOVE to write but that finding time amidst the chaos of a week has been challenging. Ideas for posts come to me as Cole continues to teach me about so many things and the words flow easily in my head as I watch him experience his world. However quite often while sitting down to put fingers to keyboard the words that came so readily just days or hours before seem to dissolve into thin air much like a dream that seems so vivid you know you'll remember it and yet seconds later it is gone from memory.
Being at home with Cole means an unpredictable schedule, thus TRUE free time is fleeting. I have so many "holes" in the day where I have to grab snippets of an hour when Cole is occupied and engaged in playing to do anything productive. Thus, I find myself yearning desperately for an uninterrupted stretch to just THINK.
The whole 60-75 minutes that Cole naps seems to vanish before I have even had the time to eat lunch. I am constantly in a state of "rush", vainly seeking to fully complete several tasks in a short span of time. The normal outcome is that several things get partially started/finished. My day is piece mealed (I don't think that is even a verb but I am using it) together like a patchwork quilt. I have had to readjust my own expectations of what a productive day is as how things were measured in my past are now no longer measured by the same standards.
Yes, my life is different now, responsibilities, priorities and even successes have been redefined by becoming a parent. I can feel selfish for a time wondering where and when I'll get more than a few hours reprieve but then I remark on how lucky I am to be a mom at all and my self pity dissipates. I take a breath (or two or three) and look back on my day, declaring how successful it truly has been. Here are just a few of today's triumphs.
Listening to Cole make animal sounds as he recognizes their pictures in the book; watching in awe as he lines up all his cars face forward, with all the red ones together;laughing as he excitedly says "I did it" as he puts his hat on sideways; gazing in wonder as he gazes in wonder at the snowflakes falling.
I thought it would be ambitious for me to produce a weekly post (it was and is) despite having tons of material. What I have found over the past 13 months of posting to my BLOG is that I do LOVE to write but that finding time amidst the chaos of a week has been challenging. Ideas for posts come to me as Cole continues to teach me about so many things and the words flow easily in my head as I watch him experience his world. However quite often while sitting down to put fingers to keyboard the words that came so readily just days or hours before seem to dissolve into thin air much like a dream that seems so vivid you know you'll remember it and yet seconds later it is gone from memory.
Being at home with Cole means an unpredictable schedule, thus TRUE free time is fleeting. I have so many "holes" in the day where I have to grab snippets of an hour when Cole is occupied and engaged in playing to do anything productive. Thus, I find myself yearning desperately for an uninterrupted stretch to just THINK.
The whole 60-75 minutes that Cole naps seems to vanish before I have even had the time to eat lunch. I am constantly in a state of "rush", vainly seeking to fully complete several tasks in a short span of time. The normal outcome is that several things get partially started/finished. My day is piece mealed (I don't think that is even a verb but I am using it) together like a patchwork quilt. I have had to readjust my own expectations of what a productive day is as how things were measured in my past are now no longer measured by the same standards.
Yes, my life is different now, responsibilities, priorities and even successes have been redefined by becoming a parent. I can feel selfish for a time wondering where and when I'll get more than a few hours reprieve but then I remark on how lucky I am to be a mom at all and my self pity dissipates. I take a breath (or two or three) and look back on my day, declaring how successful it truly has been. Here are just a few of today's triumphs.
Listening to Cole make animal sounds as he recognizes their pictures in the book; watching in awe as he lines up all his cars face forward, with all the red ones together;laughing as he excitedly says "I did it" as he puts his hat on sideways; gazing in wonder as he gazes in wonder at the snowflakes falling.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
History has been made...
The energy in the air is palpable, running ordinary errands this morning I felt different, energized and positive. No matter how you voted yesterday, a historic event of monumental significance took place last evening and everyone is affected no matter what your party lines may be. Change is needed and necessary on numerous fronts and I can only hope that half of the things promised during the pre-election process will be implemented. I would be estactic for policy changes and reform on many levels.
This was the first election that I voted in as a parent. Since Cole's entry into our lives, the things that were important to me in elections past still remain, however, I carried a stronger perspective into how this election would begin to shape my son's future. The responsibility I felt to really educate myself about the candidate's platforms was real and I took to the task with fervor. Being a parent has taught me to look beyond my particular desires or needs and remember to look ahead to what changes to our government and its administration could mean for Cole and his peers.
I realized that those individuals in a position of leadership and power are on a grand scale creating the framework for my child's ultimate destiny. That both scares me beyond comprehension and yet thrills me that we have so much potential. We move forward post-election as a country with many obstacles to overcome and a long road to recovery with many expected (and I'm sure unexpected) detours ahead.
As a mother, I have to hope that we can look at the overwhelming list of tasks ahead of us as Americans and remember that each one influences the now little lives of our future.
This was the first election that I voted in as a parent. Since Cole's entry into our lives, the things that were important to me in elections past still remain, however, I carried a stronger perspective into how this election would begin to shape my son's future. The responsibility I felt to really educate myself about the candidate's platforms was real and I took to the task with fervor. Being a parent has taught me to look beyond my particular desires or needs and remember to look ahead to what changes to our government and its administration could mean for Cole and his peers.
I realized that those individuals in a position of leadership and power are on a grand scale creating the framework for my child's ultimate destiny. That both scares me beyond comprehension and yet thrills me that we have so much potential. We move forward post-election as a country with many obstacles to overcome and a long road to recovery with many expected (and I'm sure unexpected) detours ahead.
As a mother, I have to hope that we can look at the overwhelming list of tasks ahead of us as Americans and remember that each one influences the now little lives of our future.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The last of the debrief...
This will be the last "chapter" summarizing our eventful September 2008. I look back now as I have written these past few posts and say "oh well, that's life" but at the time everything was happening, I was quite overwhelmed. Thanks for letting me document in dialogue as every step forward (and back) during that time added more lines to my face...LOL.
The second week of our Outer Banks getaway was as I mentioned in the previous post, FANTASTIC. Sadly just as we found our vacation groove it was time to pack up and head back to our real lives, miles away in Minnesota. With all the changes in our travel plans TO the east coast, we had kept our flights out of Charlotte on the return leg. We left Hatteras around 10am and expected to arrive at our day's destination by 5pm or so. Our plan was to then eat dinner, check in to the hotel and get up at the crack of dawn so that Dave and Tucker could drop Cole and I off for our early flight. Several hours into our road trip, we were cruising along, Cole was happy watching CARS on the DVD player. Dave and I chatted about the long hours ahead for him as he raced back to MN in order to get home so that we could use the car to get to Cole's ortho appointment on Monday morning. I felt badly that he was going to be pushed to drive through but Dave being the road trip veteran said he didn't mind at all, the thrill of pushing the envelope was a motivator. I kept thinking to myself, what a waste the 12 hours in Charlotte would be which began a crazy sequence of thoughts in mind. An hour later I blurted out "why don't we just drive through the night as a family and get home tomorrow midday?" We both looked at one another and laughed initially and then we both looked at one another again and said "hmmmm, maybe that could work", then we both looked at one another and said "let's do it!". We quickly found the nearest TARGET and stocked up on our library of DVDs, changed our GPS track and charge with adrenaline and our ambitious goal, began to head north towards WestVirigina instead of west towards Charlotte.
The afternoon and early evening went well. We stopped when both kids needed to stretch, eat and run or the Volvo needed gas (all in all we spent a heart stopping $996 in gas for this trip over almost three weeks...OUCH). The sun was setting as we headed through WV towards Ohio, 10 hours into a 24 hour drive. I drove about 150 miles with Dave taking the wheel the other 850. We had the Volvo packed so full that we couldn't use the rear view mirror so when it got dark, it was challenging for me to drive without it. Cole had been a trooper but now he was sick of his car seat. We had hoped with a full belly and with night falling that he would just go to sleep. Ummmm...did we forget who our child was? Did we actually think that our son who has never slept well a night in his life would suddenly be soothed by the motion of the car and rocked into dreamland? *sigh*...so after quite a bit of protesting, followed by quite a bit of wailing, I managed to crawl back into the tight space that Tucker occupied and got Cole to fall asleep. He kept waking up every 20-30 minutes so I stayed holed up back there with poor Tucker willing Cole to fall into a deeper sleep. Alas, that didn't happen for a few hours and thus, from sitting in such an awkward position, I threw my back out again. I had also begun to feel queasy and thought I was car sick. So I crawled back up front and after quite some time, I began to feel better. Of course, now that Cole is asleep, we need gas. We both knew as soon as the car stopped, he would wake and sure as "***", he did just that, protesting loudly. It was around midnight now, 14 hours down, 10 or so to go! I felt lousy and now thinking maybe I was getting sick. I had to crawl back again to get Cole back to sleep and begged him silently to fall back to sleep since I thought I was going to throw up and just wanted to lay my head and fall asleep myself.
Without much space I just crawled into a child's pose yoga position and rested my head on my heads. I was pushed up against a warm and sleeping Tucker on one side and thus I managed to nod off. Around 3am, Dave whispered until I awoke. He had to stop and rest himself. I still felt awful and thus I could be of no help in taking over the wheel. So somewhere in Bloomington, Illinois, Dave pulled into an empty parking lot near a hotel and we fell asleep as a family. Forty five minutes later, Dave awoke and felt ready to continue. So off we drove into the night. There were some bad storms coming across the plains so he changed our course to attempt to avoid the worst of them. So instead of heading north to Wisconsin, we continued due west towards Iowa. It would add some time to our drive but he hoped to not have to navigate in the dark during a thunderstorm.
Dawn broke and we found ourselves four hours from home. We were approaching 24 hours on the road but with stops and meals, our total time would be approximately 27 hours. At this point, we were counting down the miles and were relieved when we began to see signs for Minneapolis/St. Paul. Around noon we pulled into our driveway, a misty rain was falling, the yard was strewn with leaves as they had changed and fallen during out almost 3 weeks away but we were home.
Looking back, we ask one another if it was worth it and would we have done it again. The answer was probably yes. Getting home Sunday afternoon gave Dave time to regroup, rest and unwind. He wasn't pressed for time as he would have been if he was racing to make it home by Monday morning. He went to bed at 6pm exhausted but so glad to be back at 3408 Quebec Avenue South. Both Cole and I followed suit and hit the sack early. Cole still awoke numerous times but fell back to sleep soundly.
Other than unpacking on Sunday we also had to rearrange Cole's room immediately since he wouldn't sleep in the crib. Dave took the front rail off to create a daybed but he was still hitting his cast on the other rails so after two nights of multiple awakenings, we dismantled the crib entirely and brought up the spare queen mattress and put it on the floor. It has taken the past few weeks to adjust to his new surroundings but he is slowly back to his "normal" routine. With all of his non-sleeping habits, Cole never gave us problems going to sleep. Well that has changed as well, the power struggle over bedtime has begun and the challenge of getting him down before 8:30 or so has us both frustrated.
Cole's ortho appointments went well and his cast came off October 20. He wore a splint for just over a week and now is back to using the arm as he was pre-break. Cole may be a leftie now as he utilizes his left hand for most fine motor skills over his right. Time will tell as he continues to strengthen.
He goes back to school after a 8 week absence beginning next week. He would not have been able to play outside on the playground (sand) or paint or do many of the projects that they do at school without asking his teachers to closely supervise him. He gets messy when he eats and keeping his peers from spilling on him would have been a difficult task so it was just easier to monitor him at home.
We are now enjoying some late Indian summer weather (despite the snow that fell last weekend) and gearing up for the winter ahead. It was a crazy time for us Denhams but as they say "everything happens for a reason".
The second week of our Outer Banks getaway was as I mentioned in the previous post, FANTASTIC. Sadly just as we found our vacation groove it was time to pack up and head back to our real lives, miles away in Minnesota. With all the changes in our travel plans TO the east coast, we had kept our flights out of Charlotte on the return leg. We left Hatteras around 10am and expected to arrive at our day's destination by 5pm or so. Our plan was to then eat dinner, check in to the hotel and get up at the crack of dawn so that Dave and Tucker could drop Cole and I off for our early flight. Several hours into our road trip, we were cruising along, Cole was happy watching CARS on the DVD player. Dave and I chatted about the long hours ahead for him as he raced back to MN in order to get home so that we could use the car to get to Cole's ortho appointment on Monday morning. I felt badly that he was going to be pushed to drive through but Dave being the road trip veteran said he didn't mind at all, the thrill of pushing the envelope was a motivator. I kept thinking to myself, what a waste the 12 hours in Charlotte would be which began a crazy sequence of thoughts in mind. An hour later I blurted out "why don't we just drive through the night as a family and get home tomorrow midday?" We both looked at one another and laughed initially and then we both looked at one another again and said "hmmmm, maybe that could work", then we both looked at one another and said "let's do it!". We quickly found the nearest TARGET and stocked up on our library of DVDs, changed our GPS track and charge with adrenaline and our ambitious goal, began to head north towards WestVirigina instead of west towards Charlotte.
The afternoon and early evening went well. We stopped when both kids needed to stretch, eat and run or the Volvo needed gas (all in all we spent a heart stopping $996 in gas for this trip over almost three weeks...OUCH). The sun was setting as we headed through WV towards Ohio, 10 hours into a 24 hour drive. I drove about 150 miles with Dave taking the wheel the other 850. We had the Volvo packed so full that we couldn't use the rear view mirror so when it got dark, it was challenging for me to drive without it. Cole had been a trooper but now he was sick of his car seat. We had hoped with a full belly and with night falling that he would just go to sleep. Ummmm...did we forget who our child was? Did we actually think that our son who has never slept well a night in his life would suddenly be soothed by the motion of the car and rocked into dreamland? *sigh*...so after quite a bit of protesting, followed by quite a bit of wailing, I managed to crawl back into the tight space that Tucker occupied and got Cole to fall asleep. He kept waking up every 20-30 minutes so I stayed holed up back there with poor Tucker willing Cole to fall into a deeper sleep. Alas, that didn't happen for a few hours and thus, from sitting in such an awkward position, I threw my back out again. I had also begun to feel queasy and thought I was car sick. So I crawled back up front and after quite some time, I began to feel better. Of course, now that Cole is asleep, we need gas. We both knew as soon as the car stopped, he would wake and sure as "***", he did just that, protesting loudly. It was around midnight now, 14 hours down, 10 or so to go! I felt lousy and now thinking maybe I was getting sick. I had to crawl back again to get Cole back to sleep and begged him silently to fall back to sleep since I thought I was going to throw up and just wanted to lay my head and fall asleep myself.
Without much space I just crawled into a child's pose yoga position and rested my head on my heads. I was pushed up against a warm and sleeping Tucker on one side and thus I managed to nod off. Around 3am, Dave whispered until I awoke. He had to stop and rest himself. I still felt awful and thus I could be of no help in taking over the wheel. So somewhere in Bloomington, Illinois, Dave pulled into an empty parking lot near a hotel and we fell asleep as a family. Forty five minutes later, Dave awoke and felt ready to continue. So off we drove into the night. There were some bad storms coming across the plains so he changed our course to attempt to avoid the worst of them. So instead of heading north to Wisconsin, we continued due west towards Iowa. It would add some time to our drive but he hoped to not have to navigate in the dark during a thunderstorm.
Dawn broke and we found ourselves four hours from home. We were approaching 24 hours on the road but with stops and meals, our total time would be approximately 27 hours. At this point, we were counting down the miles and were relieved when we began to see signs for Minneapolis/St. Paul. Around noon we pulled into our driveway, a misty rain was falling, the yard was strewn with leaves as they had changed and fallen during out almost 3 weeks away but we were home.
Looking back, we ask one another if it was worth it and would we have done it again. The answer was probably yes. Getting home Sunday afternoon gave Dave time to regroup, rest and unwind. He wasn't pressed for time as he would have been if he was racing to make it home by Monday morning. He went to bed at 6pm exhausted but so glad to be back at 3408 Quebec Avenue South. Both Cole and I followed suit and hit the sack early. Cole still awoke numerous times but fell back to sleep soundly.
Other than unpacking on Sunday we also had to rearrange Cole's room immediately since he wouldn't sleep in the crib. Dave took the front rail off to create a daybed but he was still hitting his cast on the other rails so after two nights of multiple awakenings, we dismantled the crib entirely and brought up the spare queen mattress and put it on the floor. It has taken the past few weeks to adjust to his new surroundings but he is slowly back to his "normal" routine. With all of his non-sleeping habits, Cole never gave us problems going to sleep. Well that has changed as well, the power struggle over bedtime has begun and the challenge of getting him down before 8:30 or so has us both frustrated.
Cole's ortho appointments went well and his cast came off October 20. He wore a splint for just over a week and now is back to using the arm as he was pre-break. Cole may be a leftie now as he utilizes his left hand for most fine motor skills over his right. Time will tell as he continues to strengthen.
He goes back to school after a 8 week absence beginning next week. He would not have been able to play outside on the playground (sand) or paint or do many of the projects that they do at school without asking his teachers to closely supervise him. He gets messy when he eats and keeping his peers from spilling on him would have been a difficult task so it was just easier to monitor him at home.
We are now enjoying some late Indian summer weather (despite the snow that fell last weekend) and gearing up for the winter ahead. It was a crazy time for us Denhams but as they say "everything happens for a reason".
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The second to last installment...
*NOTE in order to read this in sequence, please begin with the October 12 posting and work your way up. I may decide to backdate these subsequent posts so you just read down but for now this is the easiest way for me to post.
So after another fitful night's sleep (for both Cole and I) we head off to the airport shortly after dawn for our 151 minute flight to Baltimore. Luckily I had scheduled a cab to pick us up because we did not want to pay for 18 days of airport parking plus with the Jeep dead in the garage, I couldn't have gotten there on our own.
We had purchased Cole his own seat on the plane as doing so worked well when I traveled solo to Pennsylvania last spring. He is easier to manage when he has wiggle room in the window seat. This however does not mean that he actually stays in the seat or that he didn't try for 151 minutes to climb under and over the seat, across my lap or try and wedge himself in what space actually does exist between the window seat and the foot space behind our seat.
I had my bag packed with distraction toys only to have those 15 or so items strewn all over with Cole purposely dropping them for me to repeatedly pick up. Oh the games we will play in order to keep our kids from rioting. Remember too that I was dodging his cast which he had learned to use as a weapon & as a musical instrument among other things. I was also forced to be constantly adjusting him from my awkwardly small seat in the middle position with a bad back which I had gained from carrying him the past week since he wanted to be held so often since he broke his arm. But most importantly we avoided any tantrums or spills and by whatever luck I was privileged to carry that morning, I had not one disgruntled passenger nor one poopy diaper to deal with. We arrived in Baltimore midday. I felt like a packmule with my charge and all his "stuff" but we made it out to meet Dave and I breathed a sigh of relief to have my husband (and another set of hands) with us again after such a stressful 24 hours.
We headed down to the Coleson Crick to spend some time with family following Roger's passing earlier in the week. Cole and Dave explored the barn and the grounds finding all kinds of fun things to tinker with. It was strange to be there for the first time without Roger but memories of my first meeting with him, along with all our many subsequent Sunday drives down for lunch, came flooding back. It is my hope that the Crick remains in the family so that Cole can visit and learn about his great grandpa in the years to come.
After spending two days in Nanjemoy, we headed south, following the familiar route to the Outer Banks that we had taken while living in Washington. We arrived in record time (and thus too early to check in to the rental property). So we drove around and reacquainted ourselves with one of our favorite destinations. We finally pulled up to the beach house and began unpacking the overflowing Volvo. Soon after the rest of the Scull clan arrived including my dad with our beloved Tucker!
The surf was rough and the winds were blowing on our first full day but the sun was out so we made the most of the day poolside. **NOTE I forgot to mention that the evening we came home from the hospital after Cole's surgery, I immediately got online to seek a cast cover that would save our vacation and allow Cole to partake in the requisite beach activities (along with the requisite baths that a dirty 22 month old needs). It essentially sealed out the air with a hand pump and kept water and debris out! It looked like he had a little flipper!
Monday we awoke to rain which was fine since Dave and I had to make the 40 minute drive to Nags Head which was where the hospital was to get Cole's follow up X-rays. A coastal storm was creeping towards us and we were keeping a close eye on its status but for now it was just a misty foggy drizzle.
The process at OBX Regional Hospital was simple and relatively short and we left with Cole's radiology reports and CD discs that we had to now take another 10 minutes up the road to be overnighted. There were only two UPS stores on the entire 150 mile stretch of the OBX and we found out since we were so far from a major airport that nothing could be overnighted. Hmmm...okay, I knew the ortho doc wasn't going to be happy, but what could we do, we were truly at the mercy of our remote location. So before we handed them over, Dave wanted to view them on the computer, so he did that while Cole and I headed to the nearby fudge shop. Minutes later, Dave comes in and says that one of the discs was blank. WHAT?? So we had to get back in the car and drive back to the hospital and have them re-do the discs and then drive back to the UPS store, all the while, I'm trying to connect with Cole's doctor's assistant to give her the update that the X-rays would arrive Wednesday not Tuesday as we all had expected. We also were shocked at the amount our small light package would take for a 2-day guarantee, $69! YIKES! We also now had to wait an additional 24 hours to confirm that Cole's arm was healing as it should so we had that cloud hanging over our heads an extra day. We did some tourist shopping and ate some lunch and headed back the 40 minutes to Salvo.
The storm sitting off the Carolina coast had gained strength and the weather reports were hedging bets on whether it would become a hurricane. Regardless, the next 3 days were going to be a wash out. The winds were rocking the house, the tides were already breaching the dunes and the waves were the highest and angriest we had ever seen them. Dare County made the decision to close Highway 12 and the Oregon Inlet Bridge which meant we were stuck on Hatteras Island for 24-48 hours. Scary and exciting and definitely a first in all our visits down there. So we made the most of it, watched movies, played pool, cards and board games and tried to nap.
Wednesday came and word from the ortho that though she was not 100% happy with the angle of the new X-rays she felt confident that no more shifting had occurred and confirmed that the cast remained tight. She wanted us to follow up with her again the Monday after our return for another round of images. Of course the only appointment they had on that Monday was in the morning which meant that Dave and Tucker would have to drive straight through after dropping Cole and I off in Charlotte since we only had the one car to utilize. *sigh*
The other obstacle we had been facing since Cole broke his arm was his refusal to sleep in his crib, one because he continually awoke when his cast banged against the rails and two, because he wanted one of us to comfort him to sleep. So moving to the pack n play while traveling wasn't working either. We set up the twin bed with pillow bumpers and had no choice but to let him be. He was waking multiple times and fighting going to sleep so it was an exhausting week for us in all honesty. He was clingy and wouldn't let anyone else other than Dave or I hold him for the better part of the week. He did warm up by week's end and our second week was much better as he made the adjustments. The weather was fantastic during week two and we were able to be at the beach and pool everyday. Cole had a blast with our friends who came down from DC with their three girls. It was chaos with 4 kiddos under 8 but a lively bunch with lots of laughter.
to be continued (one last time)...
So after another fitful night's sleep (for both Cole and I) we head off to the airport shortly after dawn for our 151 minute flight to Baltimore. Luckily I had scheduled a cab to pick us up because we did not want to pay for 18 days of airport parking plus with the Jeep dead in the garage, I couldn't have gotten there on our own.
We had purchased Cole his own seat on the plane as doing so worked well when I traveled solo to Pennsylvania last spring. He is easier to manage when he has wiggle room in the window seat. This however does not mean that he actually stays in the seat or that he didn't try for 151 minutes to climb under and over the seat, across my lap or try and wedge himself in what space actually does exist between the window seat and the foot space behind our seat.
I had my bag packed with distraction toys only to have those 15 or so items strewn all over with Cole purposely dropping them for me to repeatedly pick up. Oh the games we will play in order to keep our kids from rioting. Remember too that I was dodging his cast which he had learned to use as a weapon & as a musical instrument among other things. I was also forced to be constantly adjusting him from my awkwardly small seat in the middle position with a bad back which I had gained from carrying him the past week since he wanted to be held so often since he broke his arm. But most importantly we avoided any tantrums or spills and by whatever luck I was privileged to carry that morning, I had not one disgruntled passenger nor one poopy diaper to deal with. We arrived in Baltimore midday. I felt like a packmule with my charge and all his "stuff" but we made it out to meet Dave and I breathed a sigh of relief to have my husband (and another set of hands) with us again after such a stressful 24 hours.
We headed down to the Coleson Crick to spend some time with family following Roger's passing earlier in the week. Cole and Dave explored the barn and the grounds finding all kinds of fun things to tinker with. It was strange to be there for the first time without Roger but memories of my first meeting with him, along with all our many subsequent Sunday drives down for lunch, came flooding back. It is my hope that the Crick remains in the family so that Cole can visit and learn about his great grandpa in the years to come.
After spending two days in Nanjemoy, we headed south, following the familiar route to the Outer Banks that we had taken while living in Washington. We arrived in record time (and thus too early to check in to the rental property). So we drove around and reacquainted ourselves with one of our favorite destinations. We finally pulled up to the beach house and began unpacking the overflowing Volvo. Soon after the rest of the Scull clan arrived including my dad with our beloved Tucker!
The surf was rough and the winds were blowing on our first full day but the sun was out so we made the most of the day poolside. **NOTE I forgot to mention that the evening we came home from the hospital after Cole's surgery, I immediately got online to seek a cast cover that would save our vacation and allow Cole to partake in the requisite beach activities (along with the requisite baths that a dirty 22 month old needs). It essentially sealed out the air with a hand pump and kept water and debris out! It looked like he had a little flipper!
Monday we awoke to rain which was fine since Dave and I had to make the 40 minute drive to Nags Head which was where the hospital was to get Cole's follow up X-rays. A coastal storm was creeping towards us and we were keeping a close eye on its status but for now it was just a misty foggy drizzle.
The process at OBX Regional Hospital was simple and relatively short and we left with Cole's radiology reports and CD discs that we had to now take another 10 minutes up the road to be overnighted. There were only two UPS stores on the entire 150 mile stretch of the OBX and we found out since we were so far from a major airport that nothing could be overnighted. Hmmm...okay, I knew the ortho doc wasn't going to be happy, but what could we do, we were truly at the mercy of our remote location. So before we handed them over, Dave wanted to view them on the computer, so he did that while Cole and I headed to the nearby fudge shop. Minutes later, Dave comes in and says that one of the discs was blank. WHAT?? So we had to get back in the car and drive back to the hospital and have them re-do the discs and then drive back to the UPS store, all the while, I'm trying to connect with Cole's doctor's assistant to give her the update that the X-rays would arrive Wednesday not Tuesday as we all had expected. We also were shocked at the amount our small light package would take for a 2-day guarantee, $69! YIKES! We also now had to wait an additional 24 hours to confirm that Cole's arm was healing as it should so we had that cloud hanging over our heads an extra day. We did some tourist shopping and ate some lunch and headed back the 40 minutes to Salvo.
The storm sitting off the Carolina coast had gained strength and the weather reports were hedging bets on whether it would become a hurricane. Regardless, the next 3 days were going to be a wash out. The winds were rocking the house, the tides were already breaching the dunes and the waves were the highest and angriest we had ever seen them. Dare County made the decision to close Highway 12 and the Oregon Inlet Bridge which meant we were stuck on Hatteras Island for 24-48 hours. Scary and exciting and definitely a first in all our visits down there. So we made the most of it, watched movies, played pool, cards and board games and tried to nap.
Wednesday came and word from the ortho that though she was not 100% happy with the angle of the new X-rays she felt confident that no more shifting had occurred and confirmed that the cast remained tight. She wanted us to follow up with her again the Monday after our return for another round of images. Of course the only appointment they had on that Monday was in the morning which meant that Dave and Tucker would have to drive straight through after dropping Cole and I off in Charlotte since we only had the one car to utilize. *sigh*
The other obstacle we had been facing since Cole broke his arm was his refusal to sleep in his crib, one because he continually awoke when his cast banged against the rails and two, because he wanted one of us to comfort him to sleep. So moving to the pack n play while traveling wasn't working either. We set up the twin bed with pillow bumpers and had no choice but to let him be. He was waking multiple times and fighting going to sleep so it was an exhausting week for us in all honesty. He was clingy and wouldn't let anyone else other than Dave or I hold him for the better part of the week. He did warm up by week's end and our second week was much better as he made the adjustments. The weather was fantastic during week two and we were able to be at the beach and pool everyday. Cole had a blast with our friends who came down from DC with their three girls. It was chaos with 4 kiddos under 8 but a lively bunch with lots of laughter.
to be continued (one last time)...
Friday, October 17, 2008
Debrief continues...
*NOTE in order to read this in sequence, please begin with the October 12 posting and work your way up. I may decide to backdate these subsequent posts so you just read down but for now this is the easiest way for me to post.
So back in June when we first began talking about our Outer Banks vacation, Dave and I had decided that maybe it would be wise for Cole and I to fly into Charlotte, NC. He and Tucker would then pick us up for the remaining 6 hour drive to Hatteras Island. Keeping our moving target still for the entire 24 hour drive would be asking way too much of all of us so that was our plan. When back in late August we learned of Roger's tenuous health condition, we decided that Cole and I would fly to Baltimore, MD instead on Thursday, September 18 in hopes that we could visit with Roger and Margie for a few days, and then head as a family down to the Outer Banks. So we changed our flight and crossed our fingers. When Roger passed on September 15, we decided that we would keep with our flights and visit with the family who remained at the Coleson Crick.
So Dave returned from Maryland on Tuesday, September 16, where he did the quickest turnaround both at the office and at home having not expected to have been absent the past three days. I had begun staging our packing needs for Outer Banks about two weeks prior in our basement since we had to bring so much "stuff". It was ready for Dave upon his return and by late Tuesday evening, the Volvo was full, heavy and ready for a road trip. He and Tucker left early Wednesday morning where the destination was the 19 hour drive to Pennsylvania. He would be dropping Tucker off with my parents who would bring him down to the Outer Banks for us since we could not have him down at Dave's grandparent's farm (no fence, too much water and Tayloe, Roger's Doberman who had not taken to Tucker in years prior). Dave would then drive to Baltimore on Thursday and pick Cole and I up at the airport and then we would head to the Crick.
On the same day as Dave's trek to PA, Cole and I had his one week post-surgical follow up appointment with the ortho doc over in St. Paul. He and I got there early and headed over to X-ray knowing we had a slight wait until our appointment with the doc. When we got called back immediately, my radar went off and I knew before I knew that something was wrong. Dr. Quanbeck met us in Purple Room 6 and I could tell by her demeanor as I entered that indeed something was not as it should be. She proceeded to show me Cole's x-rays which depicted a large black space between his cast and his arm. This meant the cast had loosened as his swelling had subsided over the past 7 days and because the cast had loosened so greatly and Cole was such an active toddler, the bones unfortunately had shifted, both of them. My heart sank and I began to feel dizzy as she explained that she was not comfortable putting him back under anesthesia again to reduce the bones and that the amount of reduction was far less than the first time so they could manually reduce him in the office. They would remove his original cast, take X-rays until she was happy with the position of the bones and then recast him. With no time to think or digest this terrible diagnosis but knowing how distressing the next few hours would be, we moved to the casting room.
Cole was already stressed about being back in the hospital. I could read the terror in his eyes as the 3 nurses and doc descended on his room. They had put on the movie CARS as a vain attempt to distract him. He wanted to be held with his head buried in my chest but they needed me to sit him facing out on my lap securing his good arm. You have no idea how strong a child is until they are reacting out of pure fear and pain. They masterfully cut away at his cast and I swear that Cole already knew what was coming. They braced me and walked me through each step as it happenend but my mind was on overload and it sounded like muffled noise as they spoke. I was working on automatic mode, struggling to stay strong and keep back my tears. I sang and sang trying to soothe my son and felt angry that this was occurring without warning but reality was reality and I had to live in that moment. They raced us to X-ray after "pushing" on him the first time only to learn they had to "push" again. Back to X-ray again with him screaming, having to put on the protective gear with one arm as the techs helped me position Cole. Finally, after the third "push", Dr. Quanbeck was satisfied. The bones had to be less than 10% displaced in order for them to heal correctly so that they could rotate around one another as the bones in the forearm must. As he grows, the bones will continue to straighten, so she would okay with <10%. Now a new cast had to be put on, a plaster cast over the broken lower arm and then the full arm fiberglass cast. Putting a cast on a writhing 22 month old was a feat. I had plaster in my hair, on my clothes, on Cole's clothes and shoes. I was sweating, I had not eaten, and I was emotionally drained at this point. What I thought would have been a 30 minute follow up appointment had now stretched to almost three hours. Dr. Quanbeck was confident that this new tighter cast would not slip since his swelling had subsided but to ensure this she wanted us back for another follow up the following week. Well, we were leaving the next day for our 18 days away. Crap, okay, so we decided that Dave and I would take Cole to the Outer Banks Hospital radiology department for X-rays and have them sent to her overnight for review. If all was well, then we wouldn't be back again until his cast came off on October 20. If all was not as it should be, well, in her words "we will cross that bridge if it comes to that". She had her assistant call the OBX hospital and confirm our arrangement.
So with all that behind us, Cole and I headed out to the Jeep (as Dave had taken the Volvo). Cole was so fatigued by the ordeal, I just wanted to get him home. I got him situated with the last rice cake I had in my diaper bag and went to start the car. The key wouldn't go all the way in. I repositioned the steering wheel and tried again. Panic surged up my nerve pathways as I tried several more times without success. I banged on the steering column and made sure the gear was in PARK. Nothing! I called Dave who at this point had no idea how our morning had evolved and who was dealing with a road closure near Chicago. I was trying to stay calm but that ability had long departed. He walked me through some potential fixes to no avail. He would call USAA road assistance and I would contact hospital security. I got Cole back out of the car and back into the stroller. I stood momentarily in disbelief staring at the Jeep willing it to rev into action. Hospital security arrived and tried several attempts with no success. So back into the hospital we went. Cole was becoming agitated so I decided to walk with him as I waited impatiently for Dave to call back. USAA called and said it would upwards of 2 hours before someone could reach me. They felt the problem could be resolved but if not then we would get a tow. As the information sunk in that I would now have to wait an agonizing 2 hours, Dave called back and I broke down. Cole and I eventually went back to the playroom where he bounced back from his ordeal and I wanted to just combust. He was a trooper for the almost 3 HOURS it actually took for the repair service to arrive. The guy was able to jury rig the ignition to start but said it would die again once I got home. Thankfully, we would be going home, albeit at this point in rush hour traffic. So after arriving at 10:30 that morning we pulled into our garage at 5:45. The Jeep indeed would not start again but at this point, we were home. Cole was not interested in food and I so I held him until he fell asleep. I then had to run around racing to complete the last minute To-Do's I had anticipated having the entire afternoon to finish before our departure early the following morning.
to be continued...
So back in June when we first began talking about our Outer Banks vacation, Dave and I had decided that maybe it would be wise for Cole and I to fly into Charlotte, NC. He and Tucker would then pick us up for the remaining 6 hour drive to Hatteras Island. Keeping our moving target still for the entire 24 hour drive would be asking way too much of all of us so that was our plan. When back in late August we learned of Roger's tenuous health condition, we decided that Cole and I would fly to Baltimore, MD instead on Thursday, September 18 in hopes that we could visit with Roger and Margie for a few days, and then head as a family down to the Outer Banks. So we changed our flight and crossed our fingers. When Roger passed on September 15, we decided that we would keep with our flights and visit with the family who remained at the Coleson Crick.
So Dave returned from Maryland on Tuesday, September 16, where he did the quickest turnaround both at the office and at home having not expected to have been absent the past three days. I had begun staging our packing needs for Outer Banks about two weeks prior in our basement since we had to bring so much "stuff". It was ready for Dave upon his return and by late Tuesday evening, the Volvo was full, heavy and ready for a road trip. He and Tucker left early Wednesday morning where the destination was the 19 hour drive to Pennsylvania. He would be dropping Tucker off with my parents who would bring him down to the Outer Banks for us since we could not have him down at Dave's grandparent's farm (no fence, too much water and Tayloe, Roger's Doberman who had not taken to Tucker in years prior). Dave would then drive to Baltimore on Thursday and pick Cole and I up at the airport and then we would head to the Crick.
On the same day as Dave's trek to PA, Cole and I had his one week post-surgical follow up appointment with the ortho doc over in St. Paul. He and I got there early and headed over to X-ray knowing we had a slight wait until our appointment with the doc. When we got called back immediately, my radar went off and I knew before I knew that something was wrong. Dr. Quanbeck met us in Purple Room 6 and I could tell by her demeanor as I entered that indeed something was not as it should be. She proceeded to show me Cole's x-rays which depicted a large black space between his cast and his arm. This meant the cast had loosened as his swelling had subsided over the past 7 days and because the cast had loosened so greatly and Cole was such an active toddler, the bones unfortunately had shifted, both of them. My heart sank and I began to feel dizzy as she explained that she was not comfortable putting him back under anesthesia again to reduce the bones and that the amount of reduction was far less than the first time so they could manually reduce him in the office. They would remove his original cast, take X-rays until she was happy with the position of the bones and then recast him. With no time to think or digest this terrible diagnosis but knowing how distressing the next few hours would be, we moved to the casting room.
Cole was already stressed about being back in the hospital. I could read the terror in his eyes as the 3 nurses and doc descended on his room. They had put on the movie CARS as a vain attempt to distract him. He wanted to be held with his head buried in my chest but they needed me to sit him facing out on my lap securing his good arm. You have no idea how strong a child is until they are reacting out of pure fear and pain. They masterfully cut away at his cast and I swear that Cole already knew what was coming. They braced me and walked me through each step as it happenend but my mind was on overload and it sounded like muffled noise as they spoke. I was working on automatic mode, struggling to stay strong and keep back my tears. I sang and sang trying to soothe my son and felt angry that this was occurring without warning but reality was reality and I had to live in that moment. They raced us to X-ray after "pushing" on him the first time only to learn they had to "push" again. Back to X-ray again with him screaming, having to put on the protective gear with one arm as the techs helped me position Cole. Finally, after the third "push", Dr. Quanbeck was satisfied. The bones had to be less than 10% displaced in order for them to heal correctly so that they could rotate around one another as the bones in the forearm must. As he grows, the bones will continue to straighten, so she would okay with <10%. Now a new cast had to be put on, a plaster cast over the broken lower arm and then the full arm fiberglass cast. Putting a cast on a writhing 22 month old was a feat. I had plaster in my hair, on my clothes, on Cole's clothes and shoes. I was sweating, I had not eaten, and I was emotionally drained at this point. What I thought would have been a 30 minute follow up appointment had now stretched to almost three hours. Dr. Quanbeck was confident that this new tighter cast would not slip since his swelling had subsided but to ensure this she wanted us back for another follow up the following week. Well, we were leaving the next day for our 18 days away. Crap, okay, so we decided that Dave and I would take Cole to the Outer Banks Hospital radiology department for X-rays and have them sent to her overnight for review. If all was well, then we wouldn't be back again until his cast came off on October 20. If all was not as it should be, well, in her words "we will cross that bridge if it comes to that". She had her assistant call the OBX hospital and confirm our arrangement.
So with all that behind us, Cole and I headed out to the Jeep (as Dave had taken the Volvo). Cole was so fatigued by the ordeal, I just wanted to get him home. I got him situated with the last rice cake I had in my diaper bag and went to start the car. The key wouldn't go all the way in. I repositioned the steering wheel and tried again. Panic surged up my nerve pathways as I tried several more times without success. I banged on the steering column and made sure the gear was in PARK. Nothing! I called Dave who at this point had no idea how our morning had evolved and who was dealing with a road closure near Chicago. I was trying to stay calm but that ability had long departed. He walked me through some potential fixes to no avail. He would call USAA road assistance and I would contact hospital security. I got Cole back out of the car and back into the stroller. I stood momentarily in disbelief staring at the Jeep willing it to rev into action. Hospital security arrived and tried several attempts with no success. So back into the hospital we went. Cole was becoming agitated so I decided to walk with him as I waited impatiently for Dave to call back. USAA called and said it would upwards of 2 hours before someone could reach me. They felt the problem could be resolved but if not then we would get a tow. As the information sunk in that I would now have to wait an agonizing 2 hours, Dave called back and I broke down. Cole and I eventually went back to the playroom where he bounced back from his ordeal and I wanted to just combust. He was a trooper for the almost 3 HOURS it actually took for the repair service to arrive. The guy was able to jury rig the ignition to start but said it would die again once I got home. Thankfully, we would be going home, albeit at this point in rush hour traffic. So after arriving at 10:30 that morning we pulled into our garage at 5:45. The Jeep indeed would not start again but at this point, we were home. Cole was not interested in food and I so I held him until he fell asleep. I then had to run around racing to complete the last minute To-Do's I had anticipated having the entire afternoon to finish before our departure early the following morning.
to be continued...
Sunday, October 12, 2008
A debriefing on the Denham's September 2008...
With the exception of my post honoring Cole's great grandfather Roger, no other blogging attempts have made my daily agenda since early September. As I sit here to summarize the past 30 days into a blog worthy post, I'm not sure where to begin, other than to place a disclaimer for my readers that it will be the longest post I have ever written. I think I will actually post in sections/chapters on different days instead of posting an all-in-one!
The month began with a beautiful and warm Labor Day weekend. We went for a long hike with the kids at Baker Reserve, enjoyed the veggies from our garden, drank some vino sitting around our new firepit and chatted excitedly about our upcoming vacation to the Outer Banks.
The week following the long holiday weekend brought the sad news regarding an infection that Dave's grandfather Roger, stricken with cancer, was fighting. Dave's mom flew to Maryland from Oregon when Dave's grandmother Margie fell ill as well. We got daily updates which vascillated in tone and though we hoped for the best, our worst fears regarding Roger's health were being played out.
That very same week, Cole's cute little head was featured bopping around on PBS Kid's Sprout PIC ME segment (I blogged about this so I won't write about the specifics again here). That very same day that I spent two hours watching the PIC ME show in order to capture Cole's "adventure" on TV, I drove to Montessori school to pick him up and found him inconsolable. His teachers indicated that he had been crying for two hours, moaning, et al. My immediate reaction as he ran into my arms was to remain calm as he is so sensitive that he picks up on my anxiety. He had nestled into my shoulder and was obviously distraught but I could not peal him off me to ascertain what was wrong. No one had seen him fall and he didn't initially seem like anything was injured. So I gathered his belongings as he refused to be put down and headed to the car.
A pure shot of fear ran through me as I attempted to thread his right arm through the straps on his car seat. He let out a shriek of pain that sent shivers up my spine. I had no option other than to begin driving home and hope that maybe once I got him home, I could manage damage control, having NO IDEA what exactly was wrong but now knowing that someone was definitely not right. He began to settle down on the 20 minute drive home still wimpering and looking so tired and haggard as I continually glanced in my rear view mirror. He normally runs from the garage to the yard and thus my second pang of fear crept in as he refused to get out of his car seat. I gingerly lifted him out as he began to rev back up with his crying. I got him in the house and went upstairs to try to figure out what was going on. I laid him down on our bed and realized then that he was guarding his entire right arm and shoulder. I began to sweat as I realized he wasn't moving any part of either. I quickly changed his diaper and attempted to make him move his fingers which he wouldn't. I finally couldn't keep my wits about me and I panicked, calling Dave. I rambled on to him about the past 45 minutes and said "something is very wrong". I needed him to tell me what to do because after being strong, I was losing control as my emotions temporarily superceded my ability to think. Do I go to the ER, call the pediatrician? Call the peds first and ask them what to do. It was 4:30. All the while, Cole is just a lump in my arms. The nurse scheduled us to come in right away.
As I proceeded down stairs, I tried to remember to grab anything I might need as I had no idea what the following hours held for us. It took me 5 minutes to get him into the car seat because he was in so much pain and thus he fought with me. I sang, I made silly faces, I distracted with his cars but none of my tricks were working. I raced over to the peds office, willing rush hour traffic to get out of my way. We got taken back and he refused to let me put him down anywhere. Our peds wasn't there but a colleague was. We couldn't get him to calm down enough to be evaluated. I finally said, can we go out to your picture window? She looked at me knowing I had a logical reason and out we headed. The trucks thundered past on Minnetonka Blvd and Cole stopped crying and pointed with his good arm and said repeatedly of his favorite thing "trucks, trucks!!". The pediatricain asked if I could hold his good hand and ask him to point with the bad one so she could determine whether it was his shoulder, elbow, arm, wrist, hand etc. After several rounds of this "game" the doc was able to narrow it down to his forearm. Now that we had him relatively calm, she examined him while he and I continued to watch for trucks. He did have a "bow" to his right lower forearm and swelling midline. She said we have to have X-rays but they would do them quickly but I couldn't be in the room. So there I stood slumped against the wall, willing back tears as the two nurses x-rayed him, his blood curdling screams making me wince. We waited 10 minutes when a nurse came in with a shot of Tylenol and I knew then what the news was going to be. Sure enough, Dr. Gold came in with a copy of the X-rays which showed both his Ulna and Radius snapped at the midline. They had called Gillette Children's Hospital but he wasn't considered an emergency so they would have to immobilize him for the night and we would head over to St. Paul first thing the next day. She also indicated that he couldn't eat after 6am, just in case he needed surgery. Needless to say, our night was horrific, as Cole as so uncomfortable and fearful and neither Dave nor I could sleep. I had so many things floating around in my head I was nauseous. I had called the school to attempt to find out ANYTHING that might explain what happenend to Cole and though I felt in my heart that it was an accident it certainly made me question some things. I felt guilty, I felt scared, I felt angry, I felt weak and helpless as his mom who couldn't make things better for him and I felt unprepared for this kind of thing occurring so early in his life.
Off we drove to Gillette Children's Hospital the next morning to meet with the pediatric ortho specialist. They took more X-rays which Cole fought with fervor and the verdict came in. He would indeed need to go under anesthesia to reduce the broken bones and cast him. Unforuntately, she triaged patients in the morning and surgeries took place in the afternoon, so we had time to waste. UGH! Cole played in their playroom and we walked around with the inevitable looming over our heads. Finally it was our time and the nurses took us to the surgery suite. I was having a hard time not shaking as they began his prep. The lights and people were overwhelming to Cole who had experienced way too much in a short blip of time and he wanted nothing to do with anyone. Finally, Dave left with Cole and the docs where he was allowed to remain until they put Cole under. I sobbed in the suite willing myself to focus on the outcome. Time ticked by ever so slowly, when finally Dr. Quanbeck came to get us and give us the summary. Everything went well and he was in recovery. Relief seeped from my every pore.
We headed home after spending close to 7 hours at the hospital. Numerous friends had dropped off food, walked Tucker and left messages for us. The first 24-48 hours would be critical to ensure that Cole didn't develop Compartment Syndrome which can cause severe swelling following reduction. So we were up every 3 hours (well we were pretty much awake anyway) to check Cole's fingers and position. He was unsteady on his feet, very irritable and with no appetite for 2-3 days. He got frustrated at his inability to play like he was used too but he was adjusting as we knew he would.
Saturday the 13th, the call came from Dave's mom that things were dire with Roger and could he come to Maryland immediately. He hopped on a flight on Sunday morning and drove to the Coleson Crick with his sister. Roger was never able to speak with Dave as he had been "sleeping" since the previous day but Dave was able to talk to him and share his memories with his grandfather. Roger passed from this life Monday the 15th surrounded by his family. Dave came home to Minnesota on Tuesday the 16th as Roger's service will be at Arlington National Cemetary in December.
to be continued...
The month began with a beautiful and warm Labor Day weekend. We went for a long hike with the kids at Baker Reserve, enjoyed the veggies from our garden, drank some vino sitting around our new firepit and chatted excitedly about our upcoming vacation to the Outer Banks.
The week following the long holiday weekend brought the sad news regarding an infection that Dave's grandfather Roger, stricken with cancer, was fighting. Dave's mom flew to Maryland from Oregon when Dave's grandmother Margie fell ill as well. We got daily updates which vascillated in tone and though we hoped for the best, our worst fears regarding Roger's health were being played out.
That very same week, Cole's cute little head was featured bopping around on PBS Kid's Sprout PIC ME segment (I blogged about this so I won't write about the specifics again here). That very same day that I spent two hours watching the PIC ME show in order to capture Cole's "adventure" on TV, I drove to Montessori school to pick him up and found him inconsolable. His teachers indicated that he had been crying for two hours, moaning, et al. My immediate reaction as he ran into my arms was to remain calm as he is so sensitive that he picks up on my anxiety. He had nestled into my shoulder and was obviously distraught but I could not peal him off me to ascertain what was wrong. No one had seen him fall and he didn't initially seem like anything was injured. So I gathered his belongings as he refused to be put down and headed to the car.
A pure shot of fear ran through me as I attempted to thread his right arm through the straps on his car seat. He let out a shriek of pain that sent shivers up my spine. I had no option other than to begin driving home and hope that maybe once I got him home, I could manage damage control, having NO IDEA what exactly was wrong but now knowing that someone was definitely not right. He began to settle down on the 20 minute drive home still wimpering and looking so tired and haggard as I continually glanced in my rear view mirror. He normally runs from the garage to the yard and thus my second pang of fear crept in as he refused to get out of his car seat. I gingerly lifted him out as he began to rev back up with his crying. I got him in the house and went upstairs to try to figure out what was going on. I laid him down on our bed and realized then that he was guarding his entire right arm and shoulder. I began to sweat as I realized he wasn't moving any part of either. I quickly changed his diaper and attempted to make him move his fingers which he wouldn't. I finally couldn't keep my wits about me and I panicked, calling Dave. I rambled on to him about the past 45 minutes and said "something is very wrong". I needed him to tell me what to do because after being strong, I was losing control as my emotions temporarily superceded my ability to think. Do I go to the ER, call the pediatrician? Call the peds first and ask them what to do. It was 4:30. All the while, Cole is just a lump in my arms. The nurse scheduled us to come in right away.
As I proceeded down stairs, I tried to remember to grab anything I might need as I had no idea what the following hours held for us. It took me 5 minutes to get him into the car seat because he was in so much pain and thus he fought with me. I sang, I made silly faces, I distracted with his cars but none of my tricks were working. I raced over to the peds office, willing rush hour traffic to get out of my way. We got taken back and he refused to let me put him down anywhere. Our peds wasn't there but a colleague was. We couldn't get him to calm down enough to be evaluated. I finally said, can we go out to your picture window? She looked at me knowing I had a logical reason and out we headed. The trucks thundered past on Minnetonka Blvd and Cole stopped crying and pointed with his good arm and said repeatedly of his favorite thing "trucks, trucks!!". The pediatricain asked if I could hold his good hand and ask him to point with the bad one so she could determine whether it was his shoulder, elbow, arm, wrist, hand etc. After several rounds of this "game" the doc was able to narrow it down to his forearm. Now that we had him relatively calm, she examined him while he and I continued to watch for trucks. He did have a "bow" to his right lower forearm and swelling midline. She said we have to have X-rays but they would do them quickly but I couldn't be in the room. So there I stood slumped against the wall, willing back tears as the two nurses x-rayed him, his blood curdling screams making me wince. We waited 10 minutes when a nurse came in with a shot of Tylenol and I knew then what the news was going to be. Sure enough, Dr. Gold came in with a copy of the X-rays which showed both his Ulna and Radius snapped at the midline. They had called Gillette Children's Hospital but he wasn't considered an emergency so they would have to immobilize him for the night and we would head over to St. Paul first thing the next day. She also indicated that he couldn't eat after 6am, just in case he needed surgery. Needless to say, our night was horrific, as Cole as so uncomfortable and fearful and neither Dave nor I could sleep. I had so many things floating around in my head I was nauseous. I had called the school to attempt to find out ANYTHING that might explain what happenend to Cole and though I felt in my heart that it was an accident it certainly made me question some things. I felt guilty, I felt scared, I felt angry, I felt weak and helpless as his mom who couldn't make things better for him and I felt unprepared for this kind of thing occurring so early in his life.
Off we drove to Gillette Children's Hospital the next morning to meet with the pediatric ortho specialist. They took more X-rays which Cole fought with fervor and the verdict came in. He would indeed need to go under anesthesia to reduce the broken bones and cast him. Unforuntately, she triaged patients in the morning and surgeries took place in the afternoon, so we had time to waste. UGH! Cole played in their playroom and we walked around with the inevitable looming over our heads. Finally it was our time and the nurses took us to the surgery suite. I was having a hard time not shaking as they began his prep. The lights and people were overwhelming to Cole who had experienced way too much in a short blip of time and he wanted nothing to do with anyone. Finally, Dave left with Cole and the docs where he was allowed to remain until they put Cole under. I sobbed in the suite willing myself to focus on the outcome. Time ticked by ever so slowly, when finally Dr. Quanbeck came to get us and give us the summary. Everything went well and he was in recovery. Relief seeped from my every pore.
We headed home after spending close to 7 hours at the hospital. Numerous friends had dropped off food, walked Tucker and left messages for us. The first 24-48 hours would be critical to ensure that Cole didn't develop Compartment Syndrome which can cause severe swelling following reduction. So we were up every 3 hours (well we were pretty much awake anyway) to check Cole's fingers and position. He was unsteady on his feet, very irritable and with no appetite for 2-3 days. He got frustrated at his inability to play like he was used too but he was adjusting as we knew he would.
Saturday the 13th, the call came from Dave's mom that things were dire with Roger and could he come to Maryland immediately. He hopped on a flight on Sunday morning and drove to the Coleson Crick with his sister. Roger was never able to speak with Dave as he had been "sleeping" since the previous day but Dave was able to talk to him and share his memories with his grandfather. Roger passed from this life Monday the 15th surrounded by his family. Dave came home to Minnesota on Tuesday the 16th as Roger's service will be at Arlington National Cemetary in December.
to be continued...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Great Grandpa Roger...you will be missed
Cole was so fortunate to have been born in Washington, DC. His birthplace allowed him to be near his great grandpa Roger who lived in Maryland. Cole got to spend time with Roger several times before our move to Minnesota. We have several photos of them together. Cole was just shy of a month old in this picture taken on New Year's Eve of 2006.
Cole's middle name is Roger in honor of Dave's beloved grandfather. Roger will be sadly missed but leaves many memories for us of a wonderful man and times spent at "The Coleson Crick". Roger left a legacy behind for his great grandson and we will be sure that Cole learns much about him.
Roger "Buzz" David Coleson, 88, of Nanjemoy, MD passed away at his Home on Monday, September 15, 2008. He is predeceased by his Parents; Emmett Coleson and Florence Wendt Coleson. He is survived by his Wife; Margie M. Coleson, Son; Mark D. Coleson of Arlington, VA, Daughter; Susan Lee Coleson-Fox of Seal Rock, Oregon, Sister; Leone Reed of Minneapolis, Minnesota, and 6 Grandchildren, and 5 Great Grandchildren. Buzz Coleson was a Veteran of WWII with the United States Air Force as a Pilot and retired from the United States Air Force after 30 years of service to his Country. He was a member of the "Greatest Generation". There will be a Memorial Graveside Service for Buzz Coleson on Monday, December 1, 2008 at Arlington National Cemetery at 3 pm.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Cole's TV debut....
Months ago, I created a PBS Sprout Online account for Cole. The site has age appropriate games and video clips and is PBS affiliated so it does not have commercials or gimmicky "stuff". Cole has displayed an affinity for our computers long ago so we figured that we might as well give him his own outlet for learning how to manipulate the mouse (fine motor skills) and give us another media form to help him count, learn colors and shapes et al.
Once I created his profile, I downloaded his photo which we could utilize by putting him into the clips with the characters. He loves watching himself on screen bopping around. Obviously we had to give permission to PBS to use his picture should they choose to use his photograph and all that legal jumbo before being allowed to complete his profile.
So five months later I get an email from Sprout Online stating that Cole's pic would be used in a segment in their PICME show. Randomly chosen from thousands of kiddos, Cole made his TV debut on September 9, 2008! It was an exciting moment that I was able to capture with our video camera since we do not have a DVD player (I know, I know, many of you live by those but Dave and I were trying not to let TV dictate our lives...we may cave but thus far we have survived without it).
Anyway, it was a fun and unanticipated snippet to add to his life's adventures.
Once I created his profile, I downloaded his photo which we could utilize by putting him into the clips with the characters. He loves watching himself on screen bopping around. Obviously we had to give permission to PBS to use his picture should they choose to use his photograph and all that legal jumbo before being allowed to complete his profile.
So five months later I get an email from Sprout Online stating that Cole's pic would be used in a segment in their PICME show. Randomly chosen from thousands of kiddos, Cole made his TV debut on September 9, 2008! It was an exciting moment that I was able to capture with our video camera since we do not have a DVD player (I know, I know, many of you live by those but Dave and I were trying not to let TV dictate our lives...we may cave but thus far we have survived without it).
Anyway, it was a fun and unanticipated snippet to add to his life's adventures.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
At times I worry that I am too lax with Cole, letting him experience numerous tumbles at the playground resulting in a scraped knee or fat lip from running faster than his feet can keep pace with him. He is fearless and I worry that I am fostering a toddler who won't realize his limitations. Most times though I am so in awe of his continued strength and fortitude-his ability to take the inevitable falls, say "uh-oh", bounce back up, brush his hands off and forge ahead. He is such a determined little spirit.
I think my parenting style with Cole is working well. It is constantly evolving as he walks (or runs) through life. I think if he heard a warning every five minutes or felt my anxiety every time he might fall or fail, that he may very well fall or fail because I expect him too. That would be a very big fault on my part. So my motto is confidence breeds confidence and it seems to be a success as Cole skillfully navigates his world.
So when the other moms at the park throw a look in my direction as I let Cole climb higher or run full tilt with the resulting stumble, I let him prove them all wrong, as 90% of the time he glances my way looking for reaction; he receives a smile not a frantic reproach, he gathers himself together, gets a hug and kiss and is off scurrying around in play once again, the interruption to his momementum all but forgotten.
I think my parenting style with Cole is working well. It is constantly evolving as he walks (or runs) through life. I think if he heard a warning every five minutes or felt my anxiety every time he might fall or fail, that he may very well fall or fail because I expect him too. That would be a very big fault on my part. So my motto is confidence breeds confidence and it seems to be a success as Cole skillfully navigates his world.
So when the other moms at the park throw a look in my direction as I let Cole climb higher or run full tilt with the resulting stumble, I let him prove them all wrong, as 90% of the time he glances my way looking for reaction; he receives a smile not a frantic reproach, he gathers himself together, gets a hug and kiss and is off scurrying around in play once again, the interruption to his momementum all but forgotten.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Books, wonderful books...
The past few weeks seem to have zipped on by! How does that happen, seriously??? Summer is fading fast, the sun is setting earlier and the nights here in Minnesota are already dipping back into the 50s.
One of my goals this summer was to ditch the TV (more often) and read again! I used to devour a stack of books when I had free time. Though my free time is relegated to after Cole goes to sleep, I was determined to at least get through a few titles since my HAVE READS thus far this year have been a measly five or so and my TO READS are literally fifty plus!
I have also breathed a sigh of relief recently as Cole has taken to loving books. In previous months, Cole was not at all interested in being read to nor in turning pages. This activity required him to SIT and/or be still and SIT (and be still) are not in his list of action verbs. Even at Montessori when many of the other kids are hanging out in the circle listening to story time, my little guy is moving around the room, listening I'm sure but on his terms.
However, one fine day, when for the umpteenth time I attempted to read to him, he engaged and let me actually read the text on the pages! He now readily picks up a book from the various bins I have placed around the house for him and comes to us with the "ummm, can you read to me?" look in his eye as he holds the book out. He gets impatient if you don't comply so I do try to remember that it is important to stop what I am doing (within reason) and foster his desire to READ!
Now it is so cute to watch him excitedly finish his bath, get into his PJs and with anticipation run to the pile of books and choose a few. He then backs up into my lap (he has always done that...LOL), plops himself down and begins turning pages. I don't get to actually always read the full text since I can't keep up with his fast little fingers but I do point out objects in the illustrations which slows him down a tad.
Cole and I go to the library every week to freshen our inventory of bedtime tales. Since his books are only 8, 10, 12 pages with simple sentences it is important for my sanity to visit our branch EVERY week. Our library system is great and I have an online account where I can reserve titles (since perusing shelves with a 20 month old isn't reality). So I read a review or come across a title in a magazine and I log on and place it on my list.
As for my bedtime reading, at the end of the day I have little energy left, so I am proud of myself if I can finish a chapter or two each evening. This means that it takes me weeks to finish an average length novel but I am slowly chipping away at my reading wish list and once again enjoying the power of words.
One of my goals this summer was to ditch the TV (more often) and read again! I used to devour a stack of books when I had free time. Though my free time is relegated to after Cole goes to sleep, I was determined to at least get through a few titles since my HAVE READS thus far this year have been a measly five or so and my TO READS are literally fifty plus!
I have also breathed a sigh of relief recently as Cole has taken to loving books. In previous months, Cole was not at all interested in being read to nor in turning pages. This activity required him to SIT and/or be still and SIT (and be still) are not in his list of action verbs. Even at Montessori when many of the other kids are hanging out in the circle listening to story time, my little guy is moving around the room, listening I'm sure but on his terms.
However, one fine day, when for the umpteenth time I attempted to read to him, he engaged and let me actually read the text on the pages! He now readily picks up a book from the various bins I have placed around the house for him and comes to us with the "ummm, can you read to me?" look in his eye as he holds the book out. He gets impatient if you don't comply so I do try to remember that it is important to stop what I am doing (within reason) and foster his desire to READ!
Now it is so cute to watch him excitedly finish his bath, get into his PJs and with anticipation run to the pile of books and choose a few. He then backs up into my lap (he has always done that...LOL), plops himself down and begins turning pages. I don't get to actually always read the full text since I can't keep up with his fast little fingers but I do point out objects in the illustrations which slows him down a tad.
Cole and I go to the library every week to freshen our inventory of bedtime tales. Since his books are only 8, 10, 12 pages with simple sentences it is important for my sanity to visit our branch EVERY week. Our library system is great and I have an online account where I can reserve titles (since perusing shelves with a 20 month old isn't reality). So I read a review or come across a title in a magazine and I log on and place it on my list.
As for my bedtime reading, at the end of the day I have little energy left, so I am proud of myself if I can finish a chapter or two each evening. This means that it takes me weeks to finish an average length novel but I am slowly chipping away at my reading wish list and once again enjoying the power of words.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Cleaning out emails, I came across this poem that was forwarded to me back when I was pregnant with Cole. Obviously, at the time I received it, I had no idea how it would resonate with me as I continue to grow and learn how to be a parent! Each day, I am in awe of what Cole teaches me and how I am a better person for becoming his mom.
BEFORE I WAS A MOM:
Author Unknown
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
BEFORE I WAS A MOM:
Author Unknown
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom,
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on
Pooped on
Spit on
Chewed on
Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of:
My thoughts
My body
And my mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
When I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
Could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay
I had never known the warmth
The joy
The love
The heartache
The wonder
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Okay seriously...
Anyone who I talk with even occasionally knows of our continued struggle with getting an uninterrupted night's sleep. Cole has been a challenge in the overnight department from day one. It was not until almost 10 months that we managed to get him to sleep without waking during the night. That was with trying every sleep behavior method published including the dreaded CIO (cry it out). Finally, we felt giddy that he was letting us snooze until 5am. For about two weeks, that glee endured. Then he slowly inched his waking from 5am to 4:50; 4:40; 4:30...over the course of a month or so, back to 3:30...then after some time stuck there, he edged forward and gradually landed at 4:35 where his morning alarm remained for the better part of 3 months.
In February, Cole saw a sleep specialist, as we wanted to be sure that there was nothing physically wrong with him that was keeping him (and us) on a farmer's schedule (though not even farmer's get up at 3:30?). He was not a good napper either, so we were concerned about his overall sleep deficit. I diligently kept a sleep log for a month, noting daily cycles. After meeting with the specialist, we were told, fortunately, that nothing was wrong with Cole, that he was a true early bird and an older baby needing less sleep on the sleep continuum. The doc said he is very active and curious and hitting all his milestones ahead of time so that he has a lot going on in his brain. We were doing all the right things as far as structured nap times and bedtimes but that Cole was processing a great deal of data and sometimes that results in less sleep. Cole was able to self soothe and be put in his crib awake. So despite the "good news" we were back to square one hoping for that one morning where he would sleep until AFTER the sun rose. Five months later, we are still hoping.
During this past spring and thus far this summer, we are still dealing with the periodic middle of the night wakings due to teething, illness or the unknown factor. Sometimes we can coax him back to sleep and sometimes he is ready for his day to commence. Sometimes he has a stretch of days where his internal clock regresses to 4:35 or earlier. Sometimes we make it to 5:20 and we whoop and holler, like we just struck gold.
Dave and I take turns waking with him at these ungodly hours, taking him downstairs so the other can cherish another hour's sleep. Rarely, once downstairs, can we snuggle him in for just 30 minutes more of shut eye; once in a blue moon as the saying goes.
I know we will sleep 8 hours STRAIGHT again in our life time but our bodies are so primed now for our pre-dawn awakening that we both stir before he actually wakes in order to avoid the adrenaline pumping jolt his cries induce.
We both know that Cole will be the teenager who can't get out of bed and oh the joy it will bring us to barge in with our cheery "Good morning"!!
In February, Cole saw a sleep specialist, as we wanted to be sure that there was nothing physically wrong with him that was keeping him (and us) on a farmer's schedule (though not even farmer's get up at 3:30?). He was not a good napper either, so we were concerned about his overall sleep deficit. I diligently kept a sleep log for a month, noting daily cycles. After meeting with the specialist, we were told, fortunately, that nothing was wrong with Cole, that he was a true early bird and an older baby needing less sleep on the sleep continuum. The doc said he is very active and curious and hitting all his milestones ahead of time so that he has a lot going on in his brain. We were doing all the right things as far as structured nap times and bedtimes but that Cole was processing a great deal of data and sometimes that results in less sleep. Cole was able to self soothe and be put in his crib awake. So despite the "good news" we were back to square one hoping for that one morning where he would sleep until AFTER the sun rose. Five months later, we are still hoping.
During this past spring and thus far this summer, we are still dealing with the periodic middle of the night wakings due to teething, illness or the unknown factor. Sometimes we can coax him back to sleep and sometimes he is ready for his day to commence. Sometimes he has a stretch of days where his internal clock regresses to 4:35 or earlier. Sometimes we make it to 5:20 and we whoop and holler, like we just struck gold.
Dave and I take turns waking with him at these ungodly hours, taking him downstairs so the other can cherish another hour's sleep. Rarely, once downstairs, can we snuggle him in for just 30 minutes more of shut eye; once in a blue moon as the saying goes.
I know we will sleep 8 hours STRAIGHT again in our life time but our bodies are so primed now for our pre-dawn awakening that we both stir before he actually wakes in order to avoid the adrenaline pumping jolt his cries induce.
We both know that Cole will be the teenager who can't get out of bed and oh the joy it will bring us to barge in with our cheery "Good morning"!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Letting Cole be Cole...
Anyone who spends any time with us knows that I have let Cole wander the road of independence since he was just a baby. He continually is reaching major motor skill milestones ahead of his textbook peers. As his mom, I hope it is in part due to the fact that I let him go and explore even though he is discovering his world at a rate way beyond MY comfort zone as a first-time parent. It would be so easy to reign in his curious streak to quell my own uneasiness and in the name of risk management however it could undermine his courage and fearlessness, traits already so tenuous at his age.
My/our ability to let Cole become aware of his own capabilities has let him acquire the confidence he utilizes in all that he embarks upon. I/we want to continue to foster that by letting him absorb life on his terms. This is not to say that his routine is without structure, boundaries, discipline and/or limitations. These fixed parameters work for us and until they don't, that is our way.
It is scary for ME to let him go at an Olympic pace at such a young age (obviously within the confines of safe activity) but so necessary and vital to his growth. He just beams when he completes something different or realizes he has mastered a new skill. He flashes me his million dollar smile with such pride in his eyes as if to say "hey mom, look at me, did you see me do that!!??" With that momentum, he races on to see what else he can conquer! It is such an awesome feeling being the mom of a toddler who is so happy with himself!
I have let him tumble at the playground and pick himself up all the while being right at his side for support; I have let him experience frustration at trying to get the wheels on his truck unstuck, ensuring he knows I am there for him as he processes his impatience; I have let him tantrum after being told we need to go inside and held out my arms for when he is ready to move on from the moment; I have made myself aware of how important it is for him to have my attention and eye contact as he seeks my recognition of whatever it is he is engaged in.
But most importantly of all, I just let Cole be Cole, as that is how it should be.
My/our ability to let Cole become aware of his own capabilities has let him acquire the confidence he utilizes in all that he embarks upon. I/we want to continue to foster that by letting him absorb life on his terms. This is not to say that his routine is without structure, boundaries, discipline and/or limitations. These fixed parameters work for us and until they don't, that is our way.
It is scary for ME to let him go at an Olympic pace at such a young age (obviously within the confines of safe activity) but so necessary and vital to his growth. He just beams when he completes something different or realizes he has mastered a new skill. He flashes me his million dollar smile with such pride in his eyes as if to say "hey mom, look at me, did you see me do that!!??" With that momentum, he races on to see what else he can conquer! It is such an awesome feeling being the mom of a toddler who is so happy with himself!
I have let him tumble at the playground and pick himself up all the while being right at his side for support; I have let him experience frustration at trying to get the wheels on his truck unstuck, ensuring he knows I am there for him as he processes his impatience; I have let him tantrum after being told we need to go inside and held out my arms for when he is ready to move on from the moment; I have made myself aware of how important it is for him to have my attention and eye contact as he seeks my recognition of whatever it is he is engaged in.
But most importantly of all, I just let Cole be Cole, as that is how it should be.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
C stands for
capricious
charming
cherubic
comical
contemplative
conversational
coy
creative
curious
O stands for
obdurate
observant
opinionated
orderly
original
outgoing
L stands for
lanky
likeable
lithe
loquacious
loud
lovable
lyrical
E stands for
eager
earnest
enchanting
energetic
entertaining
enthusiastic
expressive
exuberant
extraordinary
capricious
charming
cherubic
comical
contemplative
conversational
coy
creative
curious
O stands for
obdurate
observant
opinionated
orderly
original
outgoing
L stands for
lanky
likeable
lithe
loquacious
loud
lovable
lyrical
E stands for
eager
earnest
enchanting
energetic
entertaining
enthusiastic
expressive
exuberant
extraordinary
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A Cole "original"...
The past six days have been all about bodily fluids, Cole's to be specific. A nasty GI bug took over my little guy's belly and gut and shook them all up. It is the sickest I have ever seen him and the most worried I have been in a long time.
Along with the vomiting and severe diarrhea was the sheer amount of time that he slept (of course most of it during the day and NOT at night) that had us both concerned, as even as a baby he never slept more than 11 hours in a row. Hopefully after continually spiking a fever each morning he is on the upside of recovering.
And so, being needed 110% this past week has left me without much energy to write. So I am posting a scan of the first collage Cole did at school last week. It is so fun to be hanging artwork of his scribbles. I am calling them Cole "originals".
Along with the vomiting and severe diarrhea was the sheer amount of time that he slept (of course most of it during the day and NOT at night) that had us both concerned, as even as a baby he never slept more than 11 hours in a row. Hopefully after continually spiking a fever each morning he is on the upside of recovering.
And so, being needed 110% this past week has left me without much energy to write. So I am posting a scan of the first collage Cole did at school last week. It is so fun to be hanging artwork of his scribbles. I am calling them Cole "originals".
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Transition is complete...
So many of you have inquired about Cole and how he is doing with his time spent at Montessori school. After our initial breakdowns the first two weeks (both Cole's and mine) we have found our new routine and thus new comfort zone. Cole loves his new friends and his teacher and assistants. We pull into the parking lot and he can see the kids on the playground and he gets all excited. Whereas a month ago, he clung to me with tears streaming down his face, he now runs full tilt towards the gate with his million dollar smile and a string of hellos. He rarely even turns back towards me after I plant a kiss on the top of his head after lifting him out of the car. His day of fun, activity and learning is ahead of him.
I so look forward to picking him up and as I pull into the lot I scan the playground for his blond locks, normally to be found pushing the big dump truck or playing in the sand. If they are inside, he is normally, no surprise here, on the MOVE-pushing, stacking, dancing...I catch his eye and he beelines for me, running into my arms, one of the best feelings in the world. He chatters away as I ask about his day, gather his backpack and his daily report and say thank you and goodbye until next time!
He is getting the exposure to do so many things and unlike play dates, the extended time spent with his peers allows him to learn from them. And it shows, as he has mastered quite a few new skills and is much more verbal being around children at his age and slightly older as they communicate together.
I have included below the class collage from his school. I put it in a plastic protector and hung it in Cole's playroom at his level. He likes to go up and point to his friends and teacher and say HI. It is the cutest thing to see him recognize them, like he is saying "hey, I know you".
I so look forward to picking him up and as I pull into the lot I scan the playground for his blond locks, normally to be found pushing the big dump truck or playing in the sand. If they are inside, he is normally, no surprise here, on the MOVE-pushing, stacking, dancing...I catch his eye and he beelines for me, running into my arms, one of the best feelings in the world. He chatters away as I ask about his day, gather his backpack and his daily report and say thank you and goodbye until next time!
He is getting the exposure to do so many things and unlike play dates, the extended time spent with his peers allows him to learn from them. And it shows, as he has mastered quite a few new skills and is much more verbal being around children at his age and slightly older as they communicate together.
I have included below the class collage from his school. I put it in a plastic protector and hung it in Cole's playroom at his level. He likes to go up and point to his friends and teacher and say HI. It is the cutest thing to see him recognize them, like he is saying "hey, I know you".
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Toddler trials...
Cole may run me ragged most days as he darts and dashes away beyond my comfortable distance--away from me at the playground, away from me at playgroup in the park, away from me during music class, away from me as I attempt to change his diaper--just insert location and repeat the verb. He looks over his shoulder as he runs from me with that impish grin that says "ha, ha look at me, I can go where I want too, I am Cole"!
Much like his mother, he is bored after 10 minutes in the same venue, looking for something else to experience and explore. Much like his mother, he has to MOVE all the time. Much like his mother, he likes to be in control of his actions. And so it begins, the trials of Cole's growing independence (versus my daily quota of patience).
Oh, I have read the toddler sections in numerous books which gently and not so gently warn me about the few LONG miles up the road ahead. There are sections in the library solely about parental coping mechanisms in dealing with toddlers finding their way in their fascinating but frustrating world. You have to digest what is the best route for you and navigate accordingly. However, despite having a guide or two, I need to be able to change course and adjust, all the while remaining calm and in control to give the illusion that I know exactly where I am going.
So though I think I know where I am going most days, the unexpected detours sometimes cause me to go around and around in circles. Until I can get in the right lane again, exit and be on our way, who knew how difficult and how much sheer endurance (mental and physical) it takes to follow the directions that Dave and I have chosen to follow!?
To ignore bad behaviors as long as they are attention seeking and not dangerous. I am either on the verge of laughing as he pouts and/or throws a fit OR I am vainly attempting to relax my posture and keep my voice steady as he goes limp and shrieks on the sidewalk (as our neighbors glance our way) because he does not want to go inside.
To explain why something is inappropriate, despite knowing he is young but realizing he understands way more than I thought possible. I find myself providing contradictory information to my 18 month old as I tell him not to throw his toys but seconds later I am throwing the ball (or whatever random toy) to Tucker.
To give two options when correcting inappropriate actions (obviously only one being the desired result) which enables him to choose and makes him liable for his decision. I find myself tongue tied when in a split moment's notice I am forced to think of the secondary option.
To use time outs wisely and above all else be consistent. I can feel the heat creeping up the back of my neck as I know a time out is the right thing to do in a situation but I am at someone else's home. Thus I feel the other mother's eyes upon us as I carry my twisting back-arching son to a quiet place for his one minute time to think (seem like forever for him AND me).
I realize with time that discipline will get easier (won't it?). It just seems as if I master one phase of parenting only to learn that the bar has been raised yet again. Well, I guess that is okay, I wouldn't want to be bored, sit around all day and/or not be challenged. So Cole, just be you and I'll figure out the path as we walk (or run) it!
Much like his mother, he is bored after 10 minutes in the same venue, looking for something else to experience and explore. Much like his mother, he has to MOVE all the time. Much like his mother, he likes to be in control of his actions. And so it begins, the trials of Cole's growing independence (versus my daily quota of patience).
Oh, I have read the toddler sections in numerous books which gently and not so gently warn me about the few LONG miles up the road ahead. There are sections in the library solely about parental coping mechanisms in dealing with toddlers finding their way in their fascinating but frustrating world. You have to digest what is the best route for you and navigate accordingly. However, despite having a guide or two, I need to be able to change course and adjust, all the while remaining calm and in control to give the illusion that I know exactly where I am going.
So though I think I know where I am going most days, the unexpected detours sometimes cause me to go around and around in circles. Until I can get in the right lane again, exit and be on our way, who knew how difficult and how much sheer endurance (mental and physical) it takes to follow the directions that Dave and I have chosen to follow!?
To ignore bad behaviors as long as they are attention seeking and not dangerous. I am either on the verge of laughing as he pouts and/or throws a fit OR I am vainly attempting to relax my posture and keep my voice steady as he goes limp and shrieks on the sidewalk (as our neighbors glance our way) because he does not want to go inside.
To explain why something is inappropriate, despite knowing he is young but realizing he understands way more than I thought possible. I find myself providing contradictory information to my 18 month old as I tell him not to throw his toys but seconds later I am throwing the ball (or whatever random toy) to Tucker.
To give two options when correcting inappropriate actions (obviously only one being the desired result) which enables him to choose and makes him liable for his decision. I find myself tongue tied when in a split moment's notice I am forced to think of the secondary option.
To use time outs wisely and above all else be consistent. I can feel the heat creeping up the back of my neck as I know a time out is the right thing to do in a situation but I am at someone else's home. Thus I feel the other mother's eyes upon us as I carry my twisting back-arching son to a quiet place for his one minute time to think (seem like forever for him AND me).
I realize with time that discipline will get easier (won't it?). It just seems as if I master one phase of parenting only to learn that the bar has been raised yet again. Well, I guess that is okay, I wouldn't want to be bored, sit around all day and/or not be challenged. So Cole, just be you and I'll figure out the path as we walk (or run) it!
Friday, June 13, 2008
A bit of interesting trivia for this week's post...
It has been an incredibly busy week and I have yet to find the time to draft a worthwhile post, so I will cut and paste some interesting trivia for you this week relating to Cole's birthdate.
Samichlaus, which means "Santa Claus" in Swiss German, is one of the rarest beers in the world, brewed once a year on December 6th, naturally aged before bottling, and distributed one year later. This beer was once the world's strongest lager (around 14% alcohol by volume) and has been listed in The Guinness Book of Records. Unlike other lagers, it should be stored at cellar temperatures in order to enhance its definite ale- like qualities. Creamy, soothing and gently warming, it is best served after dinner.
Switzerland is among those countries that separate the celebration of Santa Claus, and the giving of gifts, from that of Christmas itself. December 6 is Saint Nicholas' Eve, and that is when each new batch of the potent brew is made, at Zurich's Hürlimann brewery, and laid down to mature in the cold cellars. Samichlaus was first made in 1980, when Hürlimann decided to pit its super-yeast against other techniques being used to produce very strong lagers across the German border.
The cost of this famous but rare beer is 3 for $68.01, 6 for $128.88, 12 for $243.36. So maybe when Cole turns 21, we will splurge (at $22 a bottle that is a few bucks per sip) and celebrate his coming of age with some Samichlaus.
Samichlaus, which means "Santa Claus" in Swiss German, is one of the rarest beers in the world, brewed once a year on December 6th, naturally aged before bottling, and distributed one year later. This beer was once the world's strongest lager (around 14% alcohol by volume) and has been listed in The Guinness Book of Records. Unlike other lagers, it should be stored at cellar temperatures in order to enhance its definite ale- like qualities. Creamy, soothing and gently warming, it is best served after dinner.
Switzerland is among those countries that separate the celebration of Santa Claus, and the giving of gifts, from that of Christmas itself. December 6 is Saint Nicholas' Eve, and that is when each new batch of the potent brew is made, at Zurich's Hürlimann brewery, and laid down to mature in the cold cellars. Samichlaus was first made in 1980, when Hürlimann decided to pit its super-yeast against other techniques being used to produce very strong lagers across the German border.
The cost of this famous but rare beer is 3 for $68.01, 6 for $128.88, 12 for $243.36. So maybe when Cole turns 21, we will splurge (at $22 a bottle that is a few bucks per sip) and celebrate his coming of age with some Samichlaus.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Please don't lick the rock...
After living on this earth for nearly 37 years and having had the privilege to have seen and experienced so much, I would have to say after 18 months in my role as MOM, that becoming a parent exposes you to situations that you never even considered as possibilities. It is truly amazing that many of my inhibitions and before-child notions have faded and been replaced by more useful and primitive impulses. Here are a few that come to mind:
Did I ever think I would be wiping my son's boogers from his nose at the playground and unprepared without tissues end up wiping them on my own sleeve?
Did I ever think I would sing in public or hop around like a frog only to do it every week during Cole's music class?
Did I ever imagine that I could read the same book over and over and over and over when I won't even watch the same movie twice?
Did I ever imagine that I would spit into Cole's hand at the park to help wash the dirt away from a new "ouchy"?
Did I ever believe I would voluntarily offer to clean up the poop from the bathtub mishap rather than cook dinner?
Did I ever believe I would be saying such things as "please don't lick the rock"?
Did I ever think I would be wiping my son's boogers from his nose at the playground and unprepared without tissues end up wiping them on my own sleeve?
Did I ever think I would sing in public or hop around like a frog only to do it every week during Cole's music class?
Did I ever imagine that I could read the same book over and over and over and over when I won't even watch the same movie twice?
Did I ever imagine that I would spit into Cole's hand at the park to help wash the dirt away from a new "ouchy"?
Did I ever believe I would voluntarily offer to clean up the poop from the bathtub mishap rather than cook dinner?
Did I ever believe I would be saying such things as "please don't lick the rock"?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Like father like son...
Below is a picture of Dave as a kid, age unknown. No doubt here that they are father and son! They even BOTH have one ear bigger than the other. Factor in the wispy blond hair, the shape of their nose and voila, the magic of DNA shows itself!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Appreciation...
After what can be described as the LONGGGGGEST winter here in Minnesota, I believe we are finally welcoming spring. I hesitate slightly since this month for the most part has proven otherwise but my confidence is greater than ever. Mother Nature has decided it is our time.
The landscape looking out our window shows the bright neon green of new growth, the little tree buds are reaching up towards the warming sun, the ferns are uncurling from their tight bundled coils, the hydrangea bushes are spouting new leaves and the lilacs are in bloom releasing their sweet scent.
Cole and I have been couped up all winter and though we managed to stay active and busy there is something undeniable about being outside. Fresh air does wonders for the soul.
Spring has opened a whole new world to Cole who wasn't even walking when our first snow fell last fall. Now he can explore to his heart's content. His curiosity is insatiable. He wants to touch the trees and the grass and pick up sticks, rocks, mud clumps and dandelions which he promptly places into his dump truck. He is fascinated with the hose and the watering can as he loves to put his hands under falling water. He "helps" push the wheelbarrow and sweep the broom.
His eyes dart around as he comes out the door. It is like a big playground and he gets so excited. I love to sit on the step and watch him run around with the warm breeze ruffling his hair. As little boys do, he can get dirty just stepping into the yard, add in a few stops to pick up rocks, a few rests atop the pollen laden pavers and a fall or two into the mulch and voila, we have a smudged face and filthy hands and clothes worthy of a SHOUT IT OUT commercial. As a well known clean freak, I thought it would drive me nuts but just the opposite has occurred. I have embraced the fact that getting dirty lets you enjoy life, another lesson that my son (and dog) have taught ME.
So thanks to our delayed spring and my little boy who have shown me how to appreciate the delight in seeing things for the very first time, again!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Just a mom...
I am sure many of you have received the "story" that comes at the end of my dialogue. As we approach Mother's Day I thought it was most appropriate to make it the theme of this week's post. I know I have felt over the past 17 months the unnecessary sting of answering an inquiry about what I do for a living. The first time the question was casually thrown my way was my first dinner party following Cole's birth. It came from a woman who I didn't know at all. I remember vividly my awkward pause and my feeble response of "I'm a stay at home mom".
The woman who had no children of her own politely said "oh that's nice" which was followed by dreadful silence. I felt my face go hot and my mind swirled attempting damage control of the conversation. I mustered up the courage to volley back the same question and she went on for what seemed like ten minutes about her architectural firm. I couldn't extricate myself fast enough to regroup and find my feet again.
Why had I felt so indistinct and lame when I was posed this common question? Here I was doing the most revered job of all and yet I felt ostracized at the same time. I swore to myself that the next time this came up I would be proud of my new status and state with confidence that I was a MOM. I shouldn't care what a stranger or random individual thought of my job title, I hadn't cared before so why now? I have pondered this and realized that motherhood was a new territory for me and in my fledgling months, everything about it seemed such an out of body experience, I was working in automatic survival mode. Eventually I did have time to think again and I then had trouble understanding these raw emotions as they tumbled over one another. My world had been affected in every way and that included my grasping the meaning of my new identity.
Since that time, I have found my "new" solid ground. The soil isn't always firm and thus I lose my footing and trip up but I brush myself off and journey through that day's maze. When asked during a recent event for Dave's company "so what do you do for work?", I answered with poise and composure, "I'm a stay at home mom to our son, Cole". It has taken me some time to acknowledge how important staying at home with Cole has been but the wisdom has come. With wisdom comes strength. With strength comes pride. I am proud to be Cole's mom and oh so lucky.
Happy Mother's Day to all of those who are more than JUST A MOM!!!
A woman renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
What I mean is, explained the recorder,
do you have a job or are you just a ...?'
Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.
I'm a Mom.
We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,'housewife' covers it,
Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'
What is your occupation? she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
Might I ask, said the clerk with new interest, just what you do in your field?
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
The woman who had no children of her own politely said "oh that's nice" which was followed by dreadful silence. I felt my face go hot and my mind swirled attempting damage control of the conversation. I mustered up the courage to volley back the same question and she went on for what seemed like ten minutes about her architectural firm. I couldn't extricate myself fast enough to regroup and find my feet again.
Why had I felt so indistinct and lame when I was posed this common question? Here I was doing the most revered job of all and yet I felt ostracized at the same time. I swore to myself that the next time this came up I would be proud of my new status and state with confidence that I was a MOM. I shouldn't care what a stranger or random individual thought of my job title, I hadn't cared before so why now? I have pondered this and realized that motherhood was a new territory for me and in my fledgling months, everything about it seemed such an out of body experience, I was working in automatic survival mode. Eventually I did have time to think again and I then had trouble understanding these raw emotions as they tumbled over one another. My world had been affected in every way and that included my grasping the meaning of my new identity.
Since that time, I have found my "new" solid ground. The soil isn't always firm and thus I lose my footing and trip up but I brush myself off and journey through that day's maze. When asked during a recent event for Dave's company "so what do you do for work?", I answered with poise and composure, "I'm a stay at home mom to our son, Cole". It has taken me some time to acknowledge how important staying at home with Cole has been but the wisdom has come. With wisdom comes strength. With strength comes pride. I am proud to be Cole's mom and oh so lucky.
Happy Mother's Day to all of those who are more than JUST A MOM!!!
A woman renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 's office,
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
What I mean is, explained the recorder,
do you have a job or are you just a ...?'
Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.
I'm a Mom.
We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,'housewife' covers it,
Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'
What is your occupation? she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
Might I ask, said the clerk with new interest, just what you do in your field?
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.'
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Signs of Cole...
Here are few street and business signs that friends and family have sent me with my little guy's name on it. I have had NO, nada, zero, zilch time to draft a worthwhile post this week so some filler text and photos will have to do. I had kept a file of these pictures not ever thinking to use them here but here ya go!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Contemplation...
To contemplate is defined by Webster's as "to look at or view with continued attention; observe thoughtfully; reflect upon; consider deliberately".
At one time in my not so distance past I used to contemplate quite often while running or walking Tucker or while just sitting outside enjoying pleasant weather. Those times would allow me to focus on one idea or thought instead of the thousands that continually play ping pong in my brain and cause me to be restless 90% of my waking hours. I could also become fully engaged with the time and place that I was in wherever that might be. These instances would slow my mind from wandering into the future where it normally was planted or from trying to digest the scattered pieces of this thing or that. I would return refreshed and less stressed if only for a brief hour or so.
One of the obstacles I have found myself dealing with as a stay at home mom to Cole who is demanding of my attention nearly 16 hours a day is the lack of time I have to just be. Just be alone, just be with my thoughts, just be me! Having very limited personal space both physically and emotionally takes its toll. I have sacrificed many things in order to be the best mom I know how to be. I do that without regret. But that doesn't mean that I don't miss some of the simple freedoms I had before I took on the responsibility of motherhood.
I wish I had more time to sit and ponder (or just sit really!) It is hard to do that when you have to fit it into an unpredictable day with a 17 month old who races around exploring every corner of every room finding trouble where I thought there wasn't any and only naps one hour a day. I realize I should just take that hour to myself but it is so hard to do that when all the other "things" that are on the TO DO list taunt me. I have never been strong at relaxing (unless I'm on a beach). Cole begins Montessori next week and I should be reveling in the "free time" it will give me. I sit here writing this post about wanting to contemplate more and yet I have already created a task list for things that I want to do around the house that are nearly impossible to do with curious Cole shadowing my every move.
I need to find my personal balance again and use the opportunity of Cole beginning school as the catalyst for doing so. It is important to my well being to find that as our routine changes. My problem is that I feel guilty for thinking about taking eighteen hours a week "off" for a month or so, gloriously six uninterrupted hours a day three days a week. It makes me sound (and feel) like a lazy blob. I know it is well earned after spending the past year and half working overtime but my need for purpose and agenda consumes my desire to sit around and read a book, catch some sun or go for a run returning to take a leisurely shower. So I have to shake the guilt and as NIKE would say JUST DO IT and spend some time just musing again.
P.S. The picture of Cole with this POST gave me the impetus to write about this topic. I learn something from him every day. I am blessed and oh so lucky to have him as my teacher in life.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
We are what we eat...
The title of this BLOG post is an ad motto that has been around for ages and yet it is more pertinent today than ever. There are so many more options today for what we put into our bodies to eat than when I was kid. Thirty some years ago, junk food and sweets existed but the amount of choices for choosing what we eat certainly did not equal the shelves upon shelves of packages consumers find themselves perusing now. Grocery stores were half the size of the towering Super Targets that I routinely frequent.
What I remember about food growing up is home cooked meals and a family sit down dinner every night. I never liked vegetables and though I have added many of them to my diet over the years, I still shy away from most that are green. Mom prepared us three meals a day, packing our lunch pails with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or in my case, butter sandwiches (was margarine even on the market then??), crusts or no crusts I can't recall. We loved going to Goodnoe's for ice cream cones and enjoyed frozen hershey kisses when we visited Grandma and Grandpa amongst my multiple other favorites, Carvel ice cream cakes and Dairy Queen softserve with the chocolate shell. I don't have a recollection of what I ate being at all a big deal. We ate, we grew, we thrived.
Now becoming a parent and being the "chef" for a toddler has been complicated by the varied studies that what we put into our babe's mouths have proven consequences and not all positive. In a rush to find out why various medical, cognitive and developmental delays rates have risen, research is growing (and showing) that the ingredients in what we consume do matter especially in little ones with their brain cells still forming. Too many residues in their foods can alter their body's ability to absorb the good nutrients. So the more I hear about this preservative and that additive and the potential detriments they cause, the more it poses an everyday conundrum as to what to purchase, prepare and feed Cole.
We had decided when Cole began eating solids to offer a range of foods. The more introduced to him early on the less apt he would become a picky eater later or so we hope. As I found myself buying items outside of the designated baby food aisle, I found myself reading labels more carefully. I bought organic produce and fruit most of the time because they were grown without pesticides. It was not that much more expensive surprisingly. It was when I began to expand his menu and add in finger foods and snacks is when the challenge began. Most of the boxes of cereal or crackers that were marked "natural" and/or "healthy" were far from it. "No trans fat" has been the tag line for many vendors trying to woo shoppers. That is a start but there are far more dire artificial elements in most packaged foods that lurk inconspicuously on the label. So I began shopping more often at Whole Foods and local organic stores for prepared goods. As I mentioned earlier, the difference in cost of buying organic produce versus non-organic was not that great. The difference in price when buying organic cereals and the like was significant however the more I considered the return on my investment the more I began spending the extra cash.
Our cupboards now host many products without high fructose corn syrup, without enriched white flour, without colorings and ingredients I can't spell let alone pronounce. We have found that many morsels taste better without all the "stuff". That "stuff" may give my pantry items a longer shelf life but if something needs chemicals to make it last longer then maybe it shouldn't be in the pantry at all?
Don't' get me wrong, Dave and I have had to retool our palates after years of Doritos, Sugar Smacks and Reeses Peanut Butter cups and we do still indulge ourselves with our favorites but we find ourselves noshing on many of the things that Cole eats and acknowledge that we too should be putting our mouths where we preach. We need to lead by example.
Of course, as a child learning about his own taste buds Cole will be allowed to sample almost anything he wishes with the understanding that those "treats" are for special occasions not daily consumption. I want him to appreciate that what he puts into his body is in essence what gives him the fuel to leap, climb, run and learn. However, I do want him to have memories of visits to the ice cream parlor, licking the insides of an Oreo cookie, chomping on REAL hot dogs while attending baseball games and eating gooey cotton candy at the state fair too!
What I remember about food growing up is home cooked meals and a family sit down dinner every night. I never liked vegetables and though I have added many of them to my diet over the years, I still shy away from most that are green. Mom prepared us three meals a day, packing our lunch pails with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or in my case, butter sandwiches (was margarine even on the market then??), crusts or no crusts I can't recall. We loved going to Goodnoe's for ice cream cones and enjoyed frozen hershey kisses when we visited Grandma and Grandpa amongst my multiple other favorites, Carvel ice cream cakes and Dairy Queen softserve with the chocolate shell. I don't have a recollection of what I ate being at all a big deal. We ate, we grew, we thrived.
Now becoming a parent and being the "chef" for a toddler has been complicated by the varied studies that what we put into our babe's mouths have proven consequences and not all positive. In a rush to find out why various medical, cognitive and developmental delays rates have risen, research is growing (and showing) that the ingredients in what we consume do matter especially in little ones with their brain cells still forming. Too many residues in their foods can alter their body's ability to absorb the good nutrients. So the more I hear about this preservative and that additive and the potential detriments they cause, the more it poses an everyday conundrum as to what to purchase, prepare and feed Cole.
We had decided when Cole began eating solids to offer a range of foods. The more introduced to him early on the less apt he would become a picky eater later or so we hope. As I found myself buying items outside of the designated baby food aisle, I found myself reading labels more carefully. I bought organic produce and fruit most of the time because they were grown without pesticides. It was not that much more expensive surprisingly. It was when I began to expand his menu and add in finger foods and snacks is when the challenge began. Most of the boxes of cereal or crackers that were marked "natural" and/or "healthy" were far from it. "No trans fat" has been the tag line for many vendors trying to woo shoppers. That is a start but there are far more dire artificial elements in most packaged foods that lurk inconspicuously on the label. So I began shopping more often at Whole Foods and local organic stores for prepared goods. As I mentioned earlier, the difference in cost of buying organic produce versus non-organic was not that great. The difference in price when buying organic cereals and the like was significant however the more I considered the return on my investment the more I began spending the extra cash.
Our cupboards now host many products without high fructose corn syrup, without enriched white flour, without colorings and ingredients I can't spell let alone pronounce. We have found that many morsels taste better without all the "stuff". That "stuff" may give my pantry items a longer shelf life but if something needs chemicals to make it last longer then maybe it shouldn't be in the pantry at all?
Don't' get me wrong, Dave and I have had to retool our palates after years of Doritos, Sugar Smacks and Reeses Peanut Butter cups and we do still indulge ourselves with our favorites but we find ourselves noshing on many of the things that Cole eats and acknowledge that we too should be putting our mouths where we preach. We need to lead by example.
Of course, as a child learning about his own taste buds Cole will be allowed to sample almost anything he wishes with the understanding that those "treats" are for special occasions not daily consumption. I want him to appreciate that what he puts into his body is in essence what gives him the fuel to leap, climb, run and learn. However, I do want him to have memories of visits to the ice cream parlor, licking the insides of an Oreo cookie, chomping on REAL hot dogs while attending baseball games and eating gooey cotton candy at the state fair too!
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